Read Chocolate Chocolate Moons by Jackie Kingon Online

chocolate-chocolate-moons

Kirkus Review said "delightful."Clarion Review said "engaging"“Chocolate Chocolate Moons” by Jackie Kingon portrays plucky plus sized chocolate lover catching bad guys, finding a delicious antidote to the poisoned candy. It is a novel set in the future that tells the story of plus-sized Molly Marbles, who wins a scholarship to Armstrong University on the Moon, a haven forKirkus Review said "delightful."Clarion Review said "engaging"“Chocolate Chocolate Moons” by Jackie Kingon portrays plucky plus sized chocolate lover catching bad guys, finding a delicious antidote to the poisoned candy. It is a novel set in the future that tells the story of plus-sized Molly Marbles, who wins a scholarship to Armstrong University on the Moon, a haven for the plus-sized set where her weight drops from 287 Earth pounds to 47.6 without so much as passing up a piece of pie. When boyfriend Drew Barron dumps her, then jumps at a job at Congress Drugs, a company that makes low calorie food supplements, Molly’s weight is the least of her woes. And when her favorite treats, Chocolate Moons are found poisoned, she finds she has bitten off more than she can chew. This is a verbal cartoon for people tired of counting calories and hungry for a good laugh. It offers a fanciful escape from concerns of the real world, a must for anyone who goes for the funny bone....

Title : Chocolate Chocolate Moons
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9781477561805
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 219 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Chocolate Chocolate Moons Reviews

  • Wall-to-wall books - wendy
    2018-10-10 23:44

    This was silly, goofy, quirky, not to be taken seriously at all - and I loved it! I can't decide if the author is twisted and demented or simply brilliant. This book was so far out of my genre range it really shocked me that I starting liking it immediately. This was part Mystery, part Sci-Fi futuristic, with a touch of Chick-Lit that takes place on the moon and Mars. It was kind of The Jetsons meets Shopaholic, LOL.The characters in this book were very likable. Molly is just adorable, sweet cute funny someone you would want as your friend. I didn't feel like the male characters were developed quite as well, or at least I didn't relate to them as much. but then Molly was the main character. and I loved her.I love the names in this book - Pluto Pastrami, Breezy Point and Decibel Point, Scheherazade, Sandy Andreas, Billings Montana, Jersey Shore, Chef Rachel X-Ray - hahaha. The whole book is very quirky like that.There a lot of play on words. It was almost slap-stick humor, which surprises me that I enjoyed it so much. But there was also that touch of awww. It wasn't a cold comedy, it had a very warm undertone.A few quotes - "Organic products have no preservatives therefor a shorter shelf life... I love preservatives, because I can't throw anything out." "They can't even agree on how many filets in a Mignon, something the average school child knows. But when they went head to toe about what's beyond the bed and the bath, he knew he had made a mistake. "and my favorite - "I'll have the vegetable burger with the vegetables on the side" Lois says. "Same for me" Becky says. "But I'll have the vegetables with the burger on the side." "Any Dessert?" "I'll have the freedom Plan hot fudge sundae with vitamin-enriched carrot ice cream and nutritional supplements on the side instead of the fudge," Lois says. "Same for me," Becky adds, "but make mine with acorn squash ice cream, put the ice on one side and the cream on the other side, and change the fudge to butterscotch." Another thing I really liked was - at the very end it told what happened to each of the main characters. I have only read one other book that did this, and I love it. I think more books should do this.THE ALL-IN-ALL -All in all this book was hilarious, laugh out loud funny! Yeah it was a little over the top in spots but seriously I didn't care. It was just so dang cute.I honestly can't remember if there was any swearing or sex, I don't think there was, but but I was too busy laughing to really pay attention.Also for some strange reason, I loved the cover! I just thought it was simple but cute.

  • TammyJo Eckhart
    2018-10-07 03:28

    Chocolate Chocolate Moons by Jackie Kingon is a comedic science fiction tale about weight, space travel, and the love of chocolate.Comedic fiction is a genre entirely of its own. To judge it you really have to ask yourself: Did this make you laugh. The short answer for me was YES! A lot of chuckles escaped me while I was reading this book. Let me give you some basic background without spoiling anything. Our main character is Molly Marbles, a college student at the start of the book, who wins the chance to study on the moon where her weight isn't going to be as much of a problem as it is on Earth. This problem is never shown to be medical or physical but more emotional because even this story is set far in the future overweight people are still deeply frowned upon. Molly's favorite candy is called chocolate moons but she loves them so much that she likes to double the chocolate in the name. These treats show up time and again in the story as we follow Molly through school into her life as mother and wife and then further as our everyday heroine must become a detective to save the solar system from corporate greed.The book is promoted in part as a mystery but the amount of mystery in this story is a bit difficult to grasp if you not used to reading funny fiction because the viewpoint and narrative elements are confused, I believe on purpose. Frankly I found that I enjoyed it far more by not trying to figure out what was going on and just flowing with the amusing names of people and places as I followed Molly through her world that stretches well beyond the Earth and moon out into the rest of the colonized solar system.Some folks might find the characters complete confusion over history unbelievable but I think that's the point. I have a great difficulty grasping how my own college level history students can say and write some of the things they do at times but they do have strange ideas about the past especially anything more than two decades in the past.In a way this novel is also about serious current issues of health, body image, social pressure, reliance on corporate produced food, and the need for the average person to stand up for what is right. But unless you are a fan of the comedic genre you may find yourself overwhelmed and thinking too much space travel, history, and agriculture. Just let it go and enough the ride to paraphrase Mystery Science Theater 3000.

  • My Book Addiction and More MBA
    2018-09-19 22:17

    OCOLATE CHOCOLATE MOONS by Jackie Kingon is an interesting Humor/Love,Sex & Marriage. A quick whimsical story written in first person which I have trouble connecting with first person characters. This story is pertaining to food,weight loss,and murder. A bit of Sci-Fi,a bit of mystery and lots of laughs with characters such as Craig Cashew, and Rocket,among a few. Reads more like a child's story but with adult content. Altogether, it is a good romp to the Moon with a cast of odd characters with very weird names. A culinary cast of who's who,with a twist of murder. A humorous look at weight loss and murder. A futuristic look at the Moon....What if.... Be prepared to smile a lot. A great read that is well written with engaging characters. Received for an honest review from the author.RATING: 4HEAT RATING: MILDREVIEWED BY: AprilR, Review courtesy of My Book Addiction and More

  • Jackie Kingon
    2018-09-16 00:41

    Some Reviews on Amazon including CLARION REVIEW 5.0 out of 5 stars A savory "treat" to read, September 20, 2012 By ML - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Chocolate Chocolate Moons (Paperback) A book that reads like candy. It was my delightful escape on a noisy flight across the Atlantic. Fun, descriptions cleverly expressed, and a marvelous play on words often - it is all this, plus a few tasty plot twists and turns. It is a true original - a treat. MLW5.0 out of 5 stars Comically absurd, September 1, 2012 By Rojerry - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Chocolate Chocolate Moons (Paperback) If you are a fan of the absurdly humorous and the comically absurd then be prepared to smile, giggle and laugh your way through your reading of Chocolate, Chocolate Moons. Be prepared to hold your sides and laugh and laugh and laugh some moreChocolate Chocolate Moons 4.0 out of 5 stars Chocolate Chocolate Moons, September 19, 2012 By Regis Obijiski (Kingston, NY) - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Chocolate Chocolate Moons (Paperback) Need a break from Joyce Carol Oates? Need some joyful oats? Try Jackie Kingon's Chocolate Chocolate Moons. Thanks to protagonist Molly Marbles, there is love, lust, silliness, schadenfreude, irrepressible egotism, failure, food-obessesion, second chances, self-image bathos, and all of it is transparent because of Kingon's "stop-it-you're-killing-me" pun-intended humor. So, go ahead and eat a chocolate moon, but not a poisoned one.Regis Obijiski, Kingston NY 5.0 out of 5 stars A Yummy, Funny Read, September 6, 2012 By Roseanne Clausen (Silver Spring, Maryland United States) - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Chocolate Chocolate Moons (Paperback) Would you like to spend a few hours with a smile on your face or laughing out loud? If you answer in the affirmative, Jacqueline Kingon's new book, Chocolate, Chocolate Moons is for you. It's a sifi fantasy that breaks all the rules about interplanetary travel and weight control. Chocolate lovers who'd love to loose those extra pounds while indulging their travel dreams will find this an enjoyable read. 4.0 out of 5 stars Laugh-out-loud funny! September 19, 2012 By WBfromNY (NY) - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Chocolate Chocolate Moons (Paperback) This was silly, goofy, quirky, not to be taken seriously at all - and I loved it! I can't decide if the author is twisted and demented or simply brilliant. This book was so far out of my genre range it really shocked me that I starting liking it immediately.This was part Mystery, part Sci-Fi futuristic, with a touch of Chick-Lit that takes place on the moon and Mars. It was kind of The Jetsons meets Shopaholic, LOL.The characters in this book were very likable. Molly is just adorable, sweet cute funny someone you would want as your friend. I didn't feel like the male characters were developed quite as well, or at least I didn't relate to them as much. but then Molly was the main character. and I loved her.I love the names in this book - Pluto Pastrami, Breezy Point and Decibel Point, Scheherazade, Sandy Andreas, Billings Montana, Jersey Shore, Chef Rachel X-Ray - hahaha. The whole book is very quirky like that.There a lot of play on words. It was almost slap-stick humor, which surprises me that I enjoyed it so much. But there was also that touch of awww. It wasn't a cold comedy, it had a very warm undertone. A few quotes -"Organic products have no preservatives therefor a shorter shelf life... I love preservatives, because I can't throw anything out.""They can't even agree on how many filets in a Mignon, something the average school child knows. But when they went head to toe about what's beyond the bed and the bath, he knew he had made a mistake. "and my favorite -"I'll have the vegetable burger with the vegetables on the side" Lois says."Same for me" Becky says. "But I'll have the vegetables with the burger on the side.""Any Dessert?""I'll have the freedom Plan hot fudge sundae with vitamin-enriched carrot ice cream and nutritional supplements on the side instead of the fudge," Lois says."Same for me," Becky adds, "but make mine with acorn squash ice cream, put the ice on one side and the cream on the other side, and change the fudge to butterscotch."Another thing I really liked was - at the very end it told what happened to each of the main characters. I have only read one other book that did this, and I love it. I think more books should do this.THE ALL-IN-ALL -All in all this book was hilarious, laugh out loud funny! Yeah it was a little over the top in spots but seriously I didn't care. It was just so dang cute.I honestly can't remember if there was any swearing or sex, I don't think there was, but but I was too busy laughing to really pay attention.Also for some strange reason, I loved the cover! I just thought it was simple but cute. Clarion ReviewHUMORChocolate Chocolate MoonsJackie KingonCreateSpace978-1-4775-6180-5Four Stars (out of Five)Molly Summers is a gal who loves her chocolate. While working as a security guard at a factory where a particular candy is poisoned, the lead investigator points out that Molly had easy access to commit the crime. “Easy access but no motive,” she tells him. “I consider Godiva and Hershey saints and chocolate to be the food of the gods.”Welcome to the twenty-fourth century, when overweight earthlings can travel to the moon and live in an atmosphere where they weigh nearly five times less than their actual weight. At first, it is heaven for the Neil Armstrong University-bound Molly and her heavyset boyfriend, Drew, but they soon break up when another girl comes between them.Life goes on for Molly, and when readers meet up with her again she is married, the mother of twin fifteen-year-old daughters, and working security for the Culinary Institute of Mars, where the big question of the novel arises: why would someone want to sabotage the popular candy Chocolate Moons? With the help of her Martian best friend, Jersey, and Jersey’s husband—the half-human, half-machine, Trenton—Molly tries to solve the mystery.Kingon is a teacher, artist, and writer who has had several short stories published, as well as articles in the New York Times. This rollicking, whimsical, tongue-in-cheek story is her debut novel.Chocolate Chocolate Moons is reminiscent of the futuristic movies Total Recall and The Fifth Element—with an added dollop of Betty Crocker. Food is ever present in this alternate universe. In fact, many of Molly’s thoughts and feelings are associated with food: “I feel as light as a whipped egg white in a floating island dessert.”Molly tells the story in first person and in present tense. However, the perspective becomes unclear at points because she seems to be an omnipotent narrator as well. Readers may overlook this, though, and focus instead on the multitude of pop-culture tie-ins the author purposely mangles. For instance, two of the newswomen mentioned are Barbara Bottled Waters and Katy Catty.The dialogue between the characters is fresh and entertaining, as in this exchange between Molly and Jersey. Molly decides to order brownies to go, explaining, “Maybe I’ll take the order out and save them for later.” Jersey replies, “Ha, with you and chocolate, there is no ‘later!’”The book’s cover is engaging and features a partial face shot of, presumably, the main character, mouth tantalizingly open, ready to plop in a Chocolate Moon candy. A darkened outer space serves as the background, complete with a crescent moon, several stars, and Saturn and its rings.Those who like unusual stories served with a dose of humor will enjoy Molly’s out-of-this-world adventure.Robin Farrell Edmunds

  • S.J. Higbee
    2018-09-28 01:15

    This space opera cosy mystery featuring food tells of how Molly recovers from her initial lost love and rebuilds her life – and about a crime that causes a number of chocolate lovers to fall into a coma. I love the details of the future depicted by Kingon’s breezy writing style – some of it is plainly a bit nonsensical, driven more by the word-play and humour, rather than any real possibility. So it is far more space opera than hard-core science fiction.There is a large cast in this busy story, where by necessity a chunk of the narrative is told in semi-omniscient point of view. The plots and counter-plots where a number of the characters are trying to outwit each other and gain access to business opportunities or expensive works of art means I had to pay attention. Though I was far more interested in Molly than these nefarious deals, which tends to make the plotting something of a hot mess.What kept me riveted to Molly’s narrative arc is the fact that she is a hefty lady who loves her food – and in Mars, where children are naturally born much slimmer and taller than Earthborn humans, she attracts a lot of attention, much of it hostile. I have read science fiction stories where the different body shape caused by different gravity drives a racist reaction – but what Kingon has done is to have a population define themselves by their body shape, which impacts on their diet and what they want to eat. In this book, Kingon highlights this consequence mostly as a humorous backdrop to the main action – but I did find this a really interesting aspect. Perhaps the reason why I zeroed onto this issue is because most of my family, including me, are allergic to dairy products, including milk, cheese, yoghurt and butter – and we are also vegetarians. So we also have foods we classify as ‘good’ and ‘bad’.While I found some of the humour and word play not particularly funny, I did really enjoy Molly’s character. Overall, this book isn’t without some structural flaws, but Kingon writes with such sunny energy that pings off the page, I was drawn into the story and enjoyed the originality and quirkiness. Recommended for someone who likes to read something a bit different.8/10

  • Scherryat The Novel Lady
    2018-10-09 21:43

    This book was absolutely delightful! It was fantasy. It was nonsense. And it was silly. But it kept me chuckling with almost every page. The play on words that Jackie Kingon created was witty and nothing short of outstanding! Yes there was a story.... a mystery. But the humor you find in everything from the names of the people to the names of the cities... just keeps you laughing. This is a futuristic story where people travel to the Moon where they weigh less, or to Mars where they find the Culinary Institute and the Candy Universe. They can travel through the Carpal Tunnel to meet up with Molly Marble's friend Jersey (whose last name turns out to be Shore). And instead of using dollars, euros, shillings or whatever.... they use a universal monetary system called "starbucks".Jackie Kingon not only created a world... she created a universe!This was definitely a fun read!*Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy provided by the author with the sole purpose of an honest review. All thoughts, comments and ratings are my own.

  • Joe Crowe
    2018-09-25 00:34

    This story is so fun. It's a comedy that starts on the moon, where heavy people weigh less thanks to our pal, gravity. Ultimately, it has elements of a sitcom, a relationship drama, and a mystery. It also takes place in a sci-fi setting that is constructed so well that space travel and living on the moon seems like an everyday, ordinary thing. I laughed frequently. The story is silly, clever, and, out of nowhere, emotionally gripping and catharti about weight-loss and self-confidence."Chocolate Chocolate Moons" is just a pleasant experience. You'll dig it. (review thanks to an advance copy.)

  • Nobody Loser
    2018-10-03 22:42

    Readers. As you all know, I am The Fan of Nonsense…If there ever was one. Personally, I feel the world wouldn't be much without it. It is, in my opinion, already mundane and practically eventless. I suspect it's the reason the joke was invented to begin with. Who knows, but I can say that my tastes tend to lean toward sci-fi/fantasy/action books rather than light comedic/light sci-fi. So, it may come as a surprise when I announce that recently I read through the pages of a comedic gem written by Jackie Kingon, an obviously intelligent woman/teacher/artist/author. From the onset, Chocolate Chocolate Moons becomes a book that you know you will, if not directly, then eventually finish. Ever since I read the Damon Runyon Omnibus, somewhere around 14 years ago, I've always wanted to pick something up that was just as clever. I'm certain this is it. Although the writing styles differ, in that the DRO is more of an adult Catcher in the Rye, it hit me with the same brick of intelligent writing and shenanigans.Chocolate Chocolate Moons is a book brimming with misguided reasoning, insanely inaccurate historical references, and quirky characters. I must admit, I was not initially sucked in, but the unending wordplays were a treat that I could not help but gorge myself on, which is almost a trait I share with the main character of this book. Molly is an eater. Everyone else in the galaxy? Not so much. Picture this: It's far into the future; take your pick of what planet you might want to live on. The gravity of these varying planets has changed the physiques of the modern human into something of a stick, and health supplements have become a part of every person's daily life. The short story? She is looked at through disgusted eyes, but she has a platter of other issues considering her favorite candy, "Chocolate Chocolate Moons" has been putting folks into comas. It must be time to go rogue detective. This book was the most cleverly written nonsense I have ever read, packed to the brim with funny events, silly remarks, and a pretty ridiculous Schrodinger Box joke that made me smile for the better part of the night. While I still prefer to read sci-fi/fantasy of a much more masculine persuasion, it goes, though not without saying, I would definitely read Jackie Kingon's work again, because life is too short not to laugh, and she is an author lhooves to make me laugh.A http://www.fanboysanonymous.com/ review

  • Hunter Shea
    2018-10-11 21:36

    I havent't had this much fun in space since Douglas Adams graced us with his Hitchhiker novels. Jackie Kingon knocks it out of the Milky Way with her debut novel. The lyrical, hysterical play on words, names and places is dizzying and the rush to solve a culinary mystery is hysterical. There are too many zingers to count. I especially loved this line from Scheherazade, a shady art dealer : "I majored in art at college. I wrote a thesis on 'The Moan of Lisa' and why she wore a mustache. But only MAD Magazine would publish my theories." Chocolate Chocolate Moons is a long belly laugh in zero gravity.

  • Luna Raven
    2018-10-06 21:32

    The jumping back and forth between past and present tense is frustrating because of the rambling narrative. We leapt wildly about twenty years in two pages, which since I'm on page 11 is rough as I still don't know why I should care about the character.The cutesy names are off putting 'Craig Cashew', 'Barbara Bottled Water', not cheeky & clever as I assume it was meant. Like Dolce and Banana Latte. Lame.I'm actually floored, I rarely put books down but this is so uncreative (sadly, because the premise is great), so poorly written with such a confusing plot that I'm done. By page 26 there is no mystery for me here other than how did I make it to page 26.

  • Donna Parker
    2018-10-04 03:43

    You had me at chocolate. When I won this from the Goodreads First Reads Program I was hopeful, loved the title, it says chocolate twice, if it had been three times I might have eaten the book itself. Loved the general plot and it was capricious, bizarre, and absorbing for such a weighty issue, but I wasn’t always sure I felt it fleshed out enough. It was a tad deficient in a constancy I like in sci-fi, granted I have no issue with suspending reality and this book was newly baked enough to persuade me keep going back for another taste. A sweet read. Did I mention it involves chocolate?

  • Liz
    2018-10-12 00:16

    An entertaining look into the eating habits of the 24th century. All the character names seem to be tongue-in-cheek jokes, which after a while seems a bit forced. The story moved quickly, but at times I was convinced I was reading two different story lines - sometimes I was confused as to why characters acted the way they did or what the heck was going on. And the switch from first-person to third-person narrative within a chapter didn't make sense. But it was a cute story and I did enjoy it for the most part.

  • Bernadette Robinson
    2018-10-14 23:29

    Well what can I say about this story, I'm glad it was a freebie Kindle read as I'm not sure that I'd have spent good money on it personally.I'm not one to give up on a book and I read it all the way through whilst there is a story there, I got bogged down with the large cast of characters who to me all had similar names and I struggled to remember who was who.If you like a good fantasy set in the future then this might be right up your street, I'm just not sure that it was right up mine if I'm honest.

  • Dylan
    2018-09-17 02:39

    I didn't enjoy every minute of this book, but I still couldn't seem to fit it down. There were some interesting scifi concepts in there, as well as numerous references to modern literature/culture. I would say that it's a quick read (less than a day) with some unlikable fat characters, some unlikable thin characters, some cliche scifi and some unique plot twists. All in all, a fun read.

  • Renee
    2018-10-12 23:22

    This was honestly one of the worst books I've read. I was looking forward to reading it and then had to force myself to finish it. I kept thinking it's got to get better. It just kept getting worse. It wasn't even trying to be decient. Sad is a good word for it

  • Doreen Magee
    2018-10-10 20:27

    This book is a lark. The story & the dialogue are funny in a very different way. While it is an easy read you need to pay attention so you don't miss any of the hilarious references to what happened in the solar system eons ago. I would certainly recommend this book

  • Laurie
    2018-09-22 22:38

    Check out my review of this book on my blog: http://cookscrapcraft.blogspot.com/20...