Read Hate List by Jennifer Brown Ernst Bergboer Online

hate-list

De lijst was eigenlijk haar idee. Maar Valerie kan haar ogen niet geloven als haar vriend Nick op een dag om zich heen schiet in de aula en doelbewust richt op de schoolgenoten op de lijst, de hate list. Ze probeert hem nog tegen te houden, maar het is al te laat. Valerie komt in een nachtmerrie terecht. Hoe zorgt ze ervoor dat haar onschuld bewezen wordt? Mag ze nog van NDe lijst was eigenlijk haar idee. Maar Valerie kan haar ogen niet geloven als haar vriend Nick op een dag om zich heen schiet in de aula en doelbewust richt op de schoolgenoten op de lijst, de hate list. Ze probeert hem nog tegen te houden, maar het is al te laat. Valerie komt in een nachtmerrie terecht. Hoe zorgt ze ervoor dat haar onschuld bewezen wordt? Mag ze nog van Nick houden, nu hij anderen van het leven heeft beroofd? En wie zijn haar echte vrienden eigenlijk?...

Title : Hate List
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9789026603983
Format Type : Hardcover
Number of Pages : 367 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Hate List Reviews

  • Emily May
    2019-05-21 04:16

    “People do it all the time--assume that they "know" what's going on in someone else's head. That's impossible. And to think it's possible is a mistake. A really big mistake. A life-ruining one if you're not careful.” This is the kind of story I was hoping for when I read This Is Where It Ends - a book that promised to delve into the darkness of school shootings, but never moved past a surface view of mindlessly evil shooter vs. poor victims. Hate List, on the other hand, is dark, psychological, sad and angering.So many things were running through my head while reading this upsetting novel. One was an Abigail Haas quote: "Wouldn't we all look guilty, if someone searched hard enough?" And another was a memory of something I wrote in my diary when I was about thirteen. Back when I was an angsty, depressed teenager, I wrote the sentence: "some people should really just die."That came back to me while reading this book. I was angry, I was sad, but did I want to kill anyone? No. Did I have it in me to get a gun and shoot my classmates? It would never even have occurred to me. And that's kind of what this book is about. How we all have dark thoughts now and then. How we all throw away casual sentences like "I could kill her!" but mean nothing by it.The story, while technically about a school shooting, actually goes far deeper than that. The author chooses to focus not quite on the shooter, not quite on the victims, but on someone in between. Valerie. She was Nick's girlfriend and helped create the "Hate List" - a list of people who had bullied them, humiliated them, judged them. But it was just a harmless list of names, right?Well, it was until Nick decided to walk into school one morning and pick off the people on that list, one by one, and then kill himself. Now, Valerie's left alive with the blame. Many believe she and Nick planned the shooting, many blame her for creating the list regardless. Her own parents can't look at her. Her group of friends are afraid to be associated with her.Valerie is a very sympathetic character. It's easy to relate to her, to feel her pain, her guilt, her loneliness and her anger. Everybody hates sometimes, and it is extremely heartbreaking to see her private hatred dragged out for the world to see and to judge. It made me so angry that she was being blamed for writing down the names of those who made her life hell.And, through her, Nick is not merely an evil boy with a gun. He becomes a human being full of pain and sadness, sick of being kicked into the dirt and treated like shit just for being different. This book breaks down the barriers between victim and villain, between the average teenager and one capable of doing something so horrific.Whenever school shootings happen, people always look for an answer to those same questions: what makes this kid different from everyone else? Do they have some innate propensity to kill? How am I different? Oh god, am I that different? And I think this book really looks at that, humanizing everyone and offering an understanding of their individual situations and motivations.It was very powerful and never once stopped making me feel something - sad, angry, frustrated, concerned, and hopeful.Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Youtube | Pinterest

  • Stacia (the 2010 club)
    2019-05-23 08:37

    3.5 stars. After sitting on my thoughts for a day, I feel like I can't review this book with any sort of polished thought process, so I'm just going to let my fingers type out whatever comes to mind. I think this book probably deserves a 4 star plus rating because it is a story worth telling and a story worth reading, but a few things held me back from going higher.1. The timing was off for me. Given that my state has been rocked by several shootings over the past several years (the most recent being the movie theater one; the most upsetting for me personally being the one that happened in my town not long ago at a church we've participated in activities at), I think my mind was having a hard time processing the fact that I was reading this book as fiction, for the sake of entertainment. I might have been better off picking up a real account, such as Columbine instead. I'm not saying that Hate List trivialized the severity of the subject for the purpose of cheap thrills. I've used the word "entertainment" very lightly in this regard. The subject matter was absolutely handled with the utmost of respect.2. Books like this should be required reading for kids around the middle school age range. Kids need to be told over and over just how bad bullying is. This book managed to show many perspectives on a school shooting, but the one perspective that stood out to me the most was how one person felt like if they'd been a little kinder, there might have been a chance that the entire chain reaction of events might not have been triggered. ONE person out of the many bullies tormenting the offender might have been able to prevent something so horrendous from happening.3. Most of the book felt cold to me. I can't explain why I felt detached, but I was. It wasn't until the very last section that everything hit me in a big way (it appears that a few other friends thought the same thing), and then I started to cry. The book was worth reading just for the way I felt about the last section, but there was something about the setup which felt sterile to me. Maybe that was the point, who knows...but some of the past and present transitions could have been handled a little smoother. 4. I appreciated that both of the parties (directly and indirectly) involved with the shootings were shown as feeling, thinking, human beings. Too often, we fail to look at the person committing the crime and wonder how they got to such a place that would make them want to hurt other people. This passage near the end of the book made me lose it (I'm not going to consider it a spoiler that you'll figure out the shooter killed himself because that happens a good portion of the time with these types of crimes, so it's something the majority of us would probably assume to be something that would happen) :Of course Ma would have wanted Nick remembered as a "Beloved Son." Of course she'd do it in the most laid-back way possible - whispering it to him in tiny letters on his headstone. Just a whisper. You were beloved, son. You were my beloved. Even after all of this, I still remember the beloved you. I can't forget.Even the worst person on earth might still have someone there, remembering them after they are gone - remembering not only the bad, but also the good, the part of that person worth loving.Just typing that out had me fighting back tears. Maybe if Nick had realized just how loved he was, he wouldn't have felt the need to kill those on the "hate list," those people who bullied him. I guess we'll never know.

  • Kristi
    2019-04-30 10:13

    Three words: Powerful, thought-provoking, & riveting.The story initially jumps between the actual shooting in May and then following September when, Valerie is preparing to head back to school. Then it focuses on Valerie's senior year and the after math of the shooting itself. It's also laced with newspaper articles throughout the first half or so. These aspects really added a certain dynamic to the novel, and made it one that particularly stands out in my mind.The narrative of this novel is so very compelling. It's definitely more of a character driven novel than plot driven, but for this particular situation it works really well. Valerie's guilt is depicted in a very realistic way, her struggle with her own identity, and her struggle to truly understand her feelings for Nick. It's just heartbreaking.This is definitely a topic that needs to be discussed and explored.A fantastically written, character driven novel, that you will not soon forget.

  • sandra [the fucking book fairy]
    2019-05-16 09:22

    This book reminded me of the song “Pumped-up Kicks” by Foster the People. It goes something like this: All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, You better run, better run, outrun my gun. All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,You better run, better run, faster than my bullet.In the song, the shooter’s name was Robert while the guy in this book was named Nick.Nick was not a violent person.At first glance, you won’t even think of him as the guy who could do something like this.He was a hopeless romantic.But what pushed Nick to kill those students?BULLYING!I never experienced bullying when I was in high school so I couldn’t really related to how Nick and Valerie felt.I felt for them though.I hate it when other people think they’re better than anyone else.Nick and Valerie were one of the bullied ones.Valerie showed Nick her hate list and it became some sort of their favorite pastime, bully-bashing behind their back.Then one day, Nick came to school with a gun and killed the people on the list along with others unsuspecting students.Val felt guilty because she felt that she had a hand on it somewhere even when she didn’t really give him the idea of that massive shooting.She stopped him but still people talked.They all think she had something to do with it, including her parent (which sucks!).The Hate List was one of those books that would open your eyes to the reality of life.Like the other books I’ve read (Forbidden and But I love him), this book was something I would not forget anytime soon.It was emotional and very real.The book actually started after the incidents with little snippets of news about what happened during the shooting.I was just a little disappointed that the characters lack back stories.Although, I liked the concept, I didn’t really like how it was executed.It was as if there was no other characters there than Valerie.Everything focused on her.I wanted to know more about Nick and what really pushed him to the edge.Lack of character depth was acceptable but what I didn’t find acceptable was Valerie’s parents.They were completely unfair.They should have understood what she was going through not the other way.They suck at parenting.They let down their own daughter.They should have believed her because she is their daughter.Her own parent doesn’t even believe her and I think that must have been hard for Val.I felt sympathy for Val and Nick.They were victims here too just like the people Nick killed.I am not saying that what Nick did was correct but what those bullies did to him was not correct either.It wasn’t really clear what really caused Nick’s decision of really killing them because it was never really mentioned.Not much about Nick was showed her which upset me a bit.I wanted to know more about him.Anyways, it was a good attempt.It was very light despite the sensitivity of the topic.It was depressing yes but what can I say, it happens.Bullying happens.There are a lot of unloving parents out there too.I think the main lesson of this book is to respect one another.We have to respect other people even if they are inferior to you.There was this line from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire that I love so much and I think it would fit the moral lesson of the story.“If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” Need I say more?!I give this book 3.5 stars! :D

  • Faye, la Patata
    2019-05-01 07:36

    What a disappointing book. GAH. I'm so mad.Whiny heroine, whiny parents, whiny brother, whiny friends. I just can't stand it. And why is she trying to force the idea that Nick was still a good guy even if he shot and killed several people? Don't fucking make excuses for him. Ugh. I mean seriously, the dad threatened to disown the girl! The mom told her outright that she ruined her life for simply loving the wrong guy. She wasn't even the criminal and yet her family treats her like one. What kind of parents are these? And the heroine didn't report them to the police or to a social worker or something, to how they are treating her? If my parents acted like this, I'd be running away. Nobody deserves that kind of crap, especially from people who should automatically be by your side through thick and thin. I couldn't believe how extreme they were written. Not cool. I was very uncomfortable.Aside from that, the constant wallowing in self-pity was too exhausting. Not recommending this.

  • Councillor
    2019-04-30 05:32

    If you are a student, then it is highly likely that you know about the constant fear of someone running on a killing spree in your school building or your university. If not, then at least you probably have relatives or friends who could potentially be involved in such a tragedy, just as everyone can possibly become a victim to such a horrifying scenario. That's what this book is about: the way an entire school deals with a killing spree after Nick Levil opened fire in the school cafeteria, killing several students and himself. I am not that well-informed about the circumstances in different countries, but here in Germany, tragedies like these have accompanied people for years, especially after the well-known and widely dreaded shooting sprees of Erfurt (2002), Emsdetten (2006) and Winnenden (2009). Emergency plans are now hanging on the doors of each classroom and instructions are given how to behave in such a case at the beginning of every schoolyear.But past events and the severe lack of security measures tell another story: that it would be easy for almost everyone to walk into a classroom or a lecture hall and kill at least ten people by random before someone can stop the killer. This is something which can never be truly predicted or prevented, not even with huge prevention activites (which, of course, cannot be found here at the moment). And this fear or becoming victim to such a tragedy as well as the aftermaths of it are what Hate List by Jennifer Brown deals with.Killing sprees are a serious topic which now and then invades the headlines and causes serious upheaval among the population. What makes it such a fascinating topic for an author to explore? It's the way they can't be predicted. Which thoughts have to run through the mind of a young person before walking through his or her school and killing dozens of people? How can such a deed be motivated? Why is it that nobody, not the parents, nor the friends, nor the girlfriend, ever sensed that something could happen?In this book, Valerie Leftman, the first-person narrator, is introduced as the girlfriend of the boy who killed those innocent people. While in their relationship, Nick was sweet, loving and caring, even though Valerie knew that he had some contacts to the wrong friends. In addition to that, Nick and Valerie, both considering themselves to be outsiders in their school, created a Hate List with the names of people they hate. And when Nick begins the shooting, those persons whose names appear on that list are chosen by him explicitly to be killed before finally he can be stopped, leading him to kill himself. When the book begins, five months have passed, and Valerie has to return to her school again. Everyone considers her to be the girlfriend of that killer, some even accuse her of having known about his plans, and nothing is going to make it easy for Valerie at her school.The social issue weighed heavily into this book, but apart from that, Valerie felt like a typical seventeen-year-old teenager to me, portrayed with almost the same character traits as all the other seventeen-year-old female protagonists in all those Young Adult novels out there. Her character had nothing special surrounding her, except for the constant self-pitying and selfishness. Her father was portrayed in a way which could not have been more negative, a way which is sadly too often occuring in reality. Her mother was portrayed in a way mothers shouldn't be portrayed, and the only character who sticked out to me as being interesting was Nick Levil, the perpetrator, for the mere fact that nobody suspected anything before he went on his killing spree. The most enthralling part of this novel was the way the author dealt with Nick's complicated mind; after all, what could turn a guy who reads Shakespeare for fun and has a (relatively) healthy social life into a killer?In the end, the premise convinced me most in this novel, while the characters fell flat for me and the plot balanced on a constant middle course between boring and interesting. However, it is possible that this novel was just a case of "it's me, not you", so I will recommend reading Anne's fantastic review and let yourself be convinced that this book deserves to be checked out.

  • Laurie –A Court of Books–
    2019-05-02 06:33

    4.5 starsIt's been five months. Five months since that tragic day. That day when Nick decides to open fire on his school cafeteria killing those who were on the Hate List. That list, which was written by him and his girlfriend Valerie, classified all those that used to torment them both during the school day. Students, bullies, teachers, popular kids... several of them were shot by Nick until Valerie tries to stop the slaughter, inadvertently saves a classmate and ends up being shot in the leg in the process. After spending months in the hospital, where she is treated like a potential suspect and being send to a psychological unit, she is finally send home to rest and heal. It's now time to return to school to complete her senior year, Valerie realizes that her worst wounds are not physical. She will need to face hate, judgment and guilt. I really loved how this book was written. I enjoyed both the writing style and the way both the past and the present were alternating. It's a subject that really touches me and I loved how it was handled. It wasn't only about victims and culprits. The Hate List was so layered and so deep, I recommend it to any reader.Mild spoilers beyond this point:This book circles about perceptions. How to Valerie, the Hate List was a way to release herself as to Nick it was a list of potential target. How they were both angry but that in the end, they didn't have the same perception of boundaries. Their perception of limits and retribution weren't on the same scale. And it was what amazed me the most. I think it was also what despaired Valerie the most and what made her denial so hard to overcome. How two persons that close, always talking, sending texts and email to each other all night long, could be such strangers to one another? How could Valerie hadn't see nor guessed what was happening in Nick's mind?She was so lost that she ended up isolating herself. She pushed away anyone that came to her, to help her. She rejected her family, her former friends and even classmates. I think that the fact that Nick killed himself made things worse for Valerie. She blamed herself for not seeing it coming. She was angry at everyone including herself. It wasn't really about self pitying, but more about the fact that she learned that the person she loved the most was a complete stranger and she couldn't ask for explanation. She needed something, anything from him; a justification, an apology, or even a prove that she couldn't have known. Her all world collapsed and she lost faith and trust toward her friends and family. “Just like there's always time for pain, there's always time for healing.”It takes a long time to Valerie to stop bargaining about what she could have done to prevent the tragedy. To have known better, and to have had some more insight of the slippery slope Nick was caught in. She has an amazing therapist, who is basically the only person she trusts, he helps her dealing with her feelings, her guilt and her depression, to go through the day. To my opinion, when she started to go back in school, it was the beginning of the "going better process". Even though it was really hard for her to be confronted to the school situation, I think she was less dwelling on her misery. However I understand how difficult it must have been for her to be stared and the object of murmurs and resentment. The process of acceptance is gradual and well brought. The main being about seeking forgiveness. Our closes ones' as well as our own. The more I read, the more I realized that the most important was not the absolution of those she wronged, but her own acceptance and mercy for herself. To accept that everyone deals with death and loss his or her own way, and that it's okay to be mad, it's okay to still love, it's okay to stretch your hand to yesterday's foe and make him your friend.

  • Olivia
    2019-05-06 05:15

    I genuinely believe this is a life changing book - it's definitely made me think differently about life. Wow. Just, wow.*FULL REVIEW BELOW.*You know when you hear someone say, 'One day, you will find a book that will change the way you think about life.' Yeah? Well for me, that book was Hate List.This book is one which hasn't got the most action packed plot, yet is rather driven by the stunning, multi-layered characters. Valerie, our main protagonist was such an interesting character to read about, observing how she deals with the loss of her boyfriend, and her conflicting feelings as to whether it is right to love a 'monster.' Though Valerie's boyfriend, Nick - he shooter is dead, the book also carries his haunting voice throughout the book, which honestly gave me chills as I began to understand that he too, is a victim, a stupid, vulnerable victim.The structure of this book is also what made it so strong. The book follows a chronological order, from the day of the shooting right up until a year after, yet manages to cleverly refer back to the accident through newspaper clipping, documenting the deaths and destruction that the shooting caused, constantly reminding the reader the effects of the tragedy and heightening the sheer emotion that this book possesses. This book honestly had such an emotional impact on me. Heck, I think I cried eight times! I feel so lucky that I got to read such a hauntingly beautiful book, and I believe that Valeries story of bravery and forgiveness, will stay with me for a long time. A million stars out of 5.

  • Anne
    2019-05-03 08:29

    A WISE MAN ONCE SAID.Oh, don't roll your eyes. He IS wise!▶ OVERVIEW People hate. That's our reality. People hate and are hated and carry grudges and want punishments ... I don't know if it's possible to take hate away from people. Not even people like us, who've seen firsthand what hate can do. We're all hurting. We're all going to be hurting for a long time. And we, probably more than anyone else out there, will be searching for a new reality every day. A better one ... But in order to change reality you have to be willing to listen and to learn. And to hear. To actually hear.Five months ago, Valerie Leftman was implicated in a tragic event that occurred in her high school's cafeteria. Now she has to return to those same halls and people who blame her for the crime which was committed, because Valerie's hate list was what prompted the high school shooting that marked a great change in the lives of the people of her hometown.Hate List is very nearly an excellent piece of work that dares to be honest, sensitive and consequential in it's themes. The story is told in present chapters, news reports and articles, flashbacks which take us through Valerie's memories of the day of the shooting, and the days before.▶ I'LL TELL YOU EXACTLY HOW I FELT WHILE AND AFTER READING THIS. I think this book changed me a bit. Sometimes when I read a story, no matter how invested I am, no matter how integrated I am into it, I imagine the story world is a glass globe, and I'm standing on the outside looking in. They say onlookers see much more than the players. I'm the onlooker, I should have aspired to more insight. But I didn't. I simply couldn't. And I swear I felt bamboozled and was very frustrated, like I was cheated out of my advantage and rightful privilege. I won't lieBUT I've thought about the realities of this story and I still can't for the life of me understand the science behind them all. But I like this, this state of confutation is magnificent. It shouldn't be easy to assign blame, close the case and call it a day. It's wrong if it's that easy. It's wrong and inadequate. Many times I was angry at how thorough Brown was in exploring and communicating the feelings of the characters because I had no excuse to be lazy in my perceptions. ▶ THIS WAS MY VERY FIRST BOOK ON THE SUBJECT OF HIGHSCHOOL SHOOTING.So like the heading says, this was my very first book on the subject of highschool shooting, and I don't know if that should mean something. But it does, it really does, because in reality I had never thought about the subject and I never imagined I'd read a book on it. But we're readers and we keep circling in and out of orbit, so that's that. One thing that struck me about this story was the mundaneness of it's progression, the casualty of it's fuel source. Think about it. Have you ever made a list - and if not a physical list, a mental one - of things you hated, situations you wished you could take by the neck and wring the life out of, people you wanted gone, hurt, or both? Have you ever been that angry? Have you ever been that acidified? Burning and boiling and raging. And what if someone took that list and turned it into a gross reality. What if they turned your anger into something monstrously real and happening? Well, the answer is simple really.Valerie started the Hate List that morphed into a target list which her boyfriend, Nick Levil, used to orchestrate an high school shooting. A shooting that left some dead, others hurt - including Valerie who was shot in the leg when she tried to stop the shooting, and Nick with a bullet in his head. Just thinking about this scene alone is dizzying. But the hardest part of the ordeal is the blame assigning.And along with that, the troubles of the aftermath: Dealing with loss and coming back to life after so many deaths, gaining back trust, forgiveness, friends, family and the love of a community that needs to grieve, and demands the comfort of having someone to blame. Those were the hardest parts, going through all those transitions were hard, not just for Valerie, but also for the reader. Because here is the time to doubt your sense of discernment. You're human, you'd love to blame someone too. We follow Valerie's shifts between different personas. Sometimes she's the sad girl and sometimes she's the monster. Sometimes she knows she tried her best and sometimes she's a failure. A hero. A victim. A culprit. An accomplice. It's all she could do to assume all these roles, to bear the burden of the crime she didn't commit, but somehow unconsciously permitted.And then think about this, the greatest struggle after coming to terms with the deaths: That the boy you loved, a boy you felt one with at some point in your estranged lives could dip his hands into such dirty and dark things, use his hands to commit such an atrocity. How do you reconcile the love you feel with the crime? How do you reconcile your guilt with your role in the crime? Because even though Valerie wasn't aware of Nick's shooting plans, she did a bit more than just start the list, she helped it flourish by making namely contributions. She spewed hate and vented angrily. But she thought she was doing just that - venting. She didn't know Nick was meaning it. Meaning to take it one step further. Meaning for them to be the winners, just once.“We all got to be winners sometimes. But what he didn’t understand was that we all had to be losers, too. Because you can’t have one without the other"One thing that frustrated the sanity out of me was Nick. Some characters in this book would have you believe that Nick was a genetic waste. Right from the womb, he was meant for trouble. Yes, something wasn't quite right with that boy from the start.But I wonder, is anyone ever born to be a high school shooter? Do some parents just wake up one morning and decide to have a baby that will be named catastrophe and carnage? A baby that will grow so full and tipping with hate and fury that he'd one day take a gun out and kill his school mates and himself? And if this isn't so, when did the poison set in? If he didn't come out bouncy with hate, then what? It all comes down to the time in between, it comes down to society. Society, environment and people. All the systems that mould us, change us, and break us. But you assume you know his mind. You conclude that because he killed, killing was his singular thought. You assume you know because it's easier that way. There's a reason, so logic has prevailed and all is right with the world again. But is it possible to know anyone's mind? To know without doubt all the emotions they're capable of feeling and things they're capable of doing?"People do it all the time--assume that they "know" what's going on in someone else's head. That's impossible. And to think it's possible is a mistake. A really big mistake. A life-ruining one if you're not careful.”Don't you wonder about it? How shattered could a person be for them to lose that little bit of humanity that shuns murder and values something as fragile and invaluable as life? It's funny how people never asked the question 'why?' And society in reality is exactly this way. I'm not saying the shooting is right, I'm not trying to downplay the tragedy but there's a cause to the effect. No one really took account of the fact that Nick and Valerie were harassed, abused and bullied day after day, because those are crimes less than murder. Just not bloody and stigmatizing enough to call for jail sentences and get the orange jumpsuits out. But we forget there is no grade to wrongness. I forgot this in the beginning, and every time Valerie tried to convince me of Nick's goodness, convince herself of his humanity, I forgot this - It's wrong because it's wrong. The bullying was wrong, and so was the shooting.▶ THE THEMES AND MOTIFS IN THIS BOOK WHICH I DARE. NOT EXPATIATE ON OR ELSE NOVEL.⏩ Versions of Reality.⏩ Judgement - Valerie and Nick were so frivolous in their judgments. They hardly knew the truth of some people they placed on their list. ⏩ Tragedy.⏩ Family and parental involvement.⏩ Forgiveness.⏩ Media.⏩ Societal estrangements and constraints⏩ The world of High school⏩ Therapy and counseling. No seriously, if you meet the psychiatrist in this book you'll understand what I'm saying. Grateful is the word.❎ Some people will probably abuse me for this, but I don't blame Valerie's parents for some of their reactions. I believe that it's not easy to be adequate in our reactions sometimes in the face of life changing tragic situations. But we try. We try and we fail. And that's the point of all these characters. But yes, a great big part of me kept wishing that someone would set Valerie's awful father straight... Or crooked.JK guys. JK.▶ WHAT IT MEANS TO FIND LOVE - UNHEALTHY LOVE - IN A HOPELESS PLACE.Something I found really harrowing was how unhealthy Nick and Valerie's relationship was. Sometimes it seemed like it needed hate to thrive. They needed to hate and be angry and spiteful to feel together. To be one in love. Nick and Valerie were odd kids, both alienated by the nature of their individual make-ups and circumstances that were out of their control - Broken families, troubled lives, insensitive peers. And lost knows lost, so they found themselves in each other and became lost together. I don't know honestly. I'm really, truly still doubting my deductions even after weeks following my reading. I'm doubting so much, this is just my two cents I'm putting in. Amidst all that hate, Valerie related moments of innocent love and untainted happiness that did nothing for my confusion. So I've come to the conclusion that their love was very schizophrenic. And yet they found comfort in it. Maybe it was all wrong and sully, but who and what could have saved them both? You understand through Valerie and Nick's relationship that in such a relationship, you could be happy. You could be really happy, but the question is for how long before you crash? And so I say to you, define Masterpiece.▶ SONGS⏩ Because my feelings will never be resolute, "Don't give a damn about your reasons" Nick.Broken by James Bugg⏩ For ValerieScars by Foxes⏩ For Graduation day! Time capsule scene :'( Quiet In My Town by Civil TwilightI NEED MEDICINE PEOPLE. PRE-REVIEWI'D HONESTLY REALLY LOVE TO DO THIS:But first I need to find the words.Review to come when I'm less...Words. Give. Me. Words.

  • Rose
    2019-05-19 04:30

    Initial reaction: There aren't a lot of books that make me cry. This one made me teary eyed in places.It's a book that covers many difficult subjects and emotions, and there are definitely a lot of times where Valerie was a difficult character to follow, but man - her emotions, experiences - all felt very genuine and real to me.Val's parents were horrible.Listened to this via audiobook, beautifully narrated.Full review:Oh man, how on earth do I write a review on Jennifer Brown's "Hate List?" Honestly have no idea what took me so long to read this book. I really do enjoy books that challenge the way that I think about tough subjects and delve into the matter with such an intimate perspective and character growth arc. This book was no different.But reading "Hate List" hurt. I'm not going to mince words about it, this hit me in a place I wasn't expecting to be hit at all. (Weird that I'm writing this review shortly after watching a Criminal Minds episode where the anniversary of a school shooting took place.) The journey was such an emotionally sharp one, holding me in a vice-like grip and not letting go until I listened to the last minute. I'll admit I actually wept during parts of this because it hit me that much.This is the story of a girl named Valerie whose boyfriend (Nick) was the center of a mass school shooting that left several students dead or permanently scarred (mentally and physically), her being shot in the leg, and ultimately him turning the gun on himself. I'll admit if there was one flaw that I could name in the duration of this narrative right off the bat, there's a bit of a run around in the timeline for events, but it makes sense as the book moves forward because it's dealing with Valerie's (Val's) recall and rollercoaster of grief. When we meet her, she's not the most likable person to follow. She's between these PTSD states as she attempts to return to school for the first time in months after the shooting.Suffice to say, people are not happy to see her, not just for the fact that her former boyfriend was the shooter, but he targeted people based on a list of people she made - those that either tormented them or hung in the same circles as those people. So Val's having PTSD from not just the shooting itself, but for her role in events with it, even for inadvertently saving the life of a fellow classmate in trying to stop Nick from shooting anyone else. The narrative takes the reader through not just the event, but for Val's reminiscence of her relationship with Nick and the conflicting emotions she feels in not being able to understand the divide between her good memories with him, his distancing, and the consequences of what he did.Watching Val go through therapy and the conflict of emotions in that process really hit home with me. I found it so realistic, especially with the strong performance of the audio narrator, Kathleen McInerney. Val has to not only come to terms with what happened in the past, but deal with the changes in her relationships at school - as well as at home. Val had a very unstable home and school life, between being bullied, her parents on the verge of divorce, and Nick drawing further and further away in the time before the shooting occurred. Once Val's recollection of the event and the direct aftermath of her recovery is covered, Val's process of moving forward is showcased through her developing relationships and "seeing what's really there" among both the adults in her community and her peers within the student body. It really struck me to see how much Val grew and came to terms with it all - and the ending punctuated an emotional journey which culminated with Val's graduating class.I didn't always like the surrounding cast of characters (seriously, Val's parents made me angry in this book - I couldn't believe the way they treated their daughter, but I had the understanding that they were grieving and had their respective flaws. That understanding was what got me through some of the tougher places of the narrative. It's dramatic, but palpable.). I LOVED Dr. Heiler's character - he really came through as an outstanding character not just in Val's recovery, but in his own person as well for support in a community that's still trying to pick up the pieces for the event. Jessica was also a very surprising character with the way she came across. Val inadvertently saved her life, but Jessica becomes more than just the "mean girl" character that she's purported to be at first. The event changes her, much like the student body, and she has a push/pull relationship with Val which becomes a stronger bond as the two relate with each other.Definitely a recommended read, and especially in its audio format. I loved this book and name it as a new favorite. Will definitely be reading more of Jennifer Brown's work in the future.Overall score: 4.5/5 stars

  • Rebecca
    2019-05-20 07:17

    Hate List is one of those rare finds that leaves you completely stunned and quite literally sends your emotions running around in circles.As I was reading Hate List I found myself on the edge of my seat wanting to know more about everything in the book. I really loved Valerie as a character, I found myself feeling so bad for her. I hated the way that almost everyone treated her. I think that in a way I found Valerie to be so relatable was because she had flaws and she wasn't perfect, she was a typical girl.I loved how Jennifer Brown put together the novel with the main story but also some newspaper articles about the incident. It all tied nicely together and created one very good book.The ending was incredibly emotional and I felt tears prickling in my eyes as I was reading it.Hate List brings up some very interesting issues and I found it amazing to read how sometimes the smallest little things can escalate into something that becomes out of control. I was also surprised about how sometimes people say things without thinking and then later these little things can become huge.I feel like I could go on forever about how much I loved Hate List. But I think if I did that there would be no point in anyone who reads this to read the book. So I will stop here and say that if you have not read Hate List then you definitely need to. It is a must-read!

  • Cait (Paper Fury)
    2019-05-05 05:23

    You know the kind of book that consumes you? I’m talking turns-you-into-a-hermit-until-you-read-the-last-page. HATE LIST is that kind of book. Emotional rollercoaster? Yes. I wanted to cry. Scratch that – I wanted to bawl my eyes out. The book is about a school shooting, but then again, it isn’t about a school shooting. This is what the author’s note says (in the back of the book): “Funny thing, I’ll bet if you asked ten readers what HATE LIST is about, they’d answer, ‘It’s about a school shooting.’ But for me, HATE LIST was never a story about a school shooting. From day one, this was always Valerie’s story.” That hit home for me. It’s so easy to take a book at face value.Yup, the blurb says it’s about a school shooting.NO. It’s about broken people and hating and recovering and selfishness. I want to bawl my eyes out, thinking about all this – because this book is about life. Just life. Screwed and messed up lives, but isn’t everyone in some way?It’s messy and gritty and horrible, but it’s not graphic. I’d say it’s aimed at a higher YA crowd, but besides the shooting elements, it’s actually about very normal kids. Alcohol and drugs are referenced, but not a big thing, you know? It’s about people. I think that’s why I loved it so much, because it wasn’t about a plot, it was about people.Valerie is the narrator. She’s 16, in high school, and her boyfriend, Nick Levill, was the shooter. But Valerie made “the list”. She and Nick were the underdogs. Trod on. Bullied. And they hated it. So they made a list, the Hate List, and wrote down just about everything they hated. And then one day Nick snapped and shot the people on the “list”. You know, the story is about spiraling out of control as well. The list didn’t start out as Valerie wanting to kill someone. She never wanted that. She began the list though, and said (off-handedly) she wanted to “kill” when a bully broke her MP3 player. She didn’t mean it. It was just a phrase. But it made me think, all the times we use phrases and talk about death without thinking about it. Wow.The character dynamics were really well written. Honestly, the characters just blew the socks off me. From the good side, to the people I wanted to scream at. I did. I mean, the book is about hate and everything, but gee, some of the characters made me loathe (see? I used loathe) them to the umpth degree. Wow and ouch. Her dad was just a dive. Her mum made me cry. Her brother? Even at the end, I wanted to shake Frankie and say, “Get a grip, dude. You have no idea.” I was so in the story, it felt like I was standing next to Valerie. I don’t know how she did it. I would have laid down and died. My only negativity is to the writing. It was a bit thick. I had to wade through pages of prose and description, when I think it could have been narrowed down. Less is more. The author tended to ramble.I’m giving this book 5-stars because it hit me hard. It dealt with life, on so many levels. I’m probably just going to be here eating chocolate and crying if you need me. Yup. My soul is shredded.

  • Elise (TheBookishActress)
    2019-05-11 11:20

    People do it all the time– assume that they know what's going on in someone else's head. That impossible. And to think it's possible is a really big mistake. A life-ruining one if you're not careful.The Hate List is about perception - how we can look at someone and see them as all bad or all good when they have tons beneath. Valerie perceived her boyfriend, Nick, as good – before he shot up their school. And everyone sees Valerie as bad, except for Jessica, the girl whose life Valerie saved. This didn't feel like a transparent attempt at starting Important Conversations On School Shootings. In fact, as the author says herself, this book isn't about school shootings and trending topics. I'll bet if you asked ten readers what Hate List was about, they'd say a school shooting. But for me, Hate List was never about a school shooting. This was always Valerie's story. -Jennifer BrownTrue to the author's intent, Valerie's story is truly what makes this book stand out. She feels guilty for her role in what happened, however small, but she's not perfect. She still hates some of these people and she misses the one guy who made her feel happy, even though he was a monster. Her character arc is one of the most solid I've read in contemporary fiction.I also want to give this book a shoutout for a great representation of ptsd and an actually helpful counselor, which I literally think I've never seen in a book before. As someone who sees a counselor, good counselors do exist! Jessica and Valerie's relationship is maybe my favorite part of this entire book. The focus on platonic friendship as a way of healing rather than a romantic relationship really improved this book. So many books feel the need to insert a guy who can "teach the girl to love again", and in this case, I loved that Val just needed a friend.VERDICT: The Hate List is an amazing, character-driven exploration of overcoming trauma that avoids the normal tropes of ~recovery boys~. Definitely recommended.

  • Heather
    2019-05-11 10:26

    What can I say about Hate List that could ever do it justice? This book was eerie. I connected to it on such a personal level that it sort of freaked me out. I’m really hoping that this fact is due to the talent of Jennifer Brown. For once, I can truly say that I have found a writer that can tap into what it really feels like to be a teenager, an honest to goodness, authentic teen. Not the nice goodie two shoes we so often read about, not the one’s who cuss, sneak off with boys and fight with their parents, all the while possessing an adult-like intelligence and perspective on their life choices that far surpasses their years. Nope, Brown has created a real live teenager, and while the image isn’t pretty, I thought it was beautiful.Valerie is an outcast, dreading the impending doom that is synonymous with the start of a new school year. Lucky for Valerie, this is her last. Her senior year is about to commence. But Valerie is petrified to return. The school, which was never one to house happy memories is now fraught with feelings of regret, terror, guilt and death. Valerie hasn’t walked into the commons since last May, on that fateful day that ended lives, including the life of her boyfriend, Nick. To some, Valerie is a hero, a girl who stopped a crazed gunman, even though that gunman was her boyfriend, someone she loved. But to many others, Valerie is nothing more than Sister Death, a girl with dyed hair and cut up jeans, a girl they enjoyed tormenting, a girl who co-authored the hate list that inspired a troubled teen to seek vengeance for them both. Frankly, this book is brilliant. It doesn’t sugar coat teenagedom, or life for that matter. There is hate in this world, and all sorts of actions that illicit this hate. There are bad people in this world and they come in a variety of forms. How many of us have delivered a snide comment in jest, or to illicit a laugh from our friends, not meaning and true harm to anyone? I’m sure all of us would raise our hands if we were being honest. But how would you feel if that comment caused someone true emotional pain? Would you continue with your words, or would that knowledge give you pause? And what of those people who think nothing of tormenting others, who wouldn’t stop their hurtful actions once they were made aware of the harm they were causing, do they deserve punishment for inflicting pain without conscience? In my opinion, no one in this book is innocent, and no one is truly wretched. Not even Nick. Hate List is filled with a host of authentic characters. There’s no bow to be tied around the end, no happy ending. It’s a story about life with all its joys and sorrows, trials, tribulations and unexpectancies. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but loath two characters, but it wasn’t who I was expecting to dislike. Valerie’s parents are utter failures. Such people shouldn’t be allowed to spawn children. Yes they are successful, yes they provide Valerie with every material item that she could want or need, but they failed her in every way that mattered. I can’t help but think that the real individuals to blame for the tragedy within this book are the parents. Parents who don’t see the pain within their children, or the evil that they can posses. Worse, her parents go on to blame her for their own failures, which is simply disgusting. If anyone reading this review belongs to parents such as these, I’m sorry. Nevertheless, in spite of its somber tone, Hate List is an inspiring, and dare I say hopeful book. It certainly serves as a beacon of truth. Valerie is a normal girl, her feelings are natural, and while she may have been extreme at times, this too was natural. Who hasn’t. I can only pray that those who read this book will be as touched as I was and perhaps have little more understanding for those around us.

  • Paulo Ratz
    2019-05-10 08:32

    Esse livro me prendeu do início ao fim. Que situação complicadaaaaa que essa protagonista vive. Eu ficava o tempo todo me colocando no lugar dela e no lugar das pessoas em volta e não conseguia decidir o que sentia. A Jennifer conseguiu uma coisa muito difícil que é ser cruel com a protagonista sem reservas. Eu ficava com pena da garota o tempo todo, porém via que era bem realista a forma que tudo era tratado. Acho que na vida real seria até pior. Minha única questão com esse livro é que eu fiquei TÃO puto com os pais dessa menina, e acho que o livro acaba sem eles levarem um tapa forte na cara, que é o que eles mereciam. Todo mundo foi tão nojento com ela e a garota só pedindo desculpa o tempo todo e sendo escurraçada. EU QUERO UMA REDENÇÃO MAIOR. Porém confesso que terminei chorando.Recomendadíssimo.

  • Abigail
    2019-05-22 05:13

    “Just like there's always time for pain, there's always time for healing.”This was my second time reading Hate List and all I can say is that it was even better the second time around. On the surface, Hate List is a story about a school shooting, but if you take the time to dig a little deeper, you will realize that there is so much more to it than that. Hate List is the story of a girl--Valerie--who is struggling to put her life back together and to find healing after the traumatic events that occurred on May 2nd, 2008. Throughout the story, we are shown snippets of her memories and the life that she had before the shooting. We are able to see the hurt and the anger that she harbored inside of herself before, and the pain, the confusion, the loneliness, and the guilt that took over afterwards. Through Valerie’s eyes we were able to see Nick, not as an evil boy with a gun, but as someone who was full of pain and suffering just like everyone else. We were able to see him as a boy so twisted by anger and grief, that it drove him to do the unthinkable. Through Valerie’s eyes, we were able to see Nick no longer as a villain, but as as a victim. One of my favorite parts about the book, was getting to see a glimpse into the minds and the realities of Valerie’s peers, many of whom had been among those who had bullied her and Nick. Ginny Baker. Jessica Campbell. Chris Sumers. Christy Bruter. All people just like them who were full to the brim of pain, anger, loneliness, grief, insecurities, and fear. Just kids who longed to be accepted by others causing them to fall prey to the trap of peer pressure and then struggling to cope with the guilt. Watching Valerie on her journey to finding healing and forgiveness from both herself and from others was a very emotional ride--one that I’m glad to have been on. I will definitely be checking out more of Jennifer Brown’s books in the future.

  •  ᴍɪᴄs ✖amante de los spoilers✖
    2019-05-08 09:32

    Leído para el 2015 reading challenge #38. Libro que te haga llorarFrankie: ¡¡TRAIDOR!!. Metete el cochecito de papi bien en el cu**.Papá de Val (cualquiera que sea tu asqueroso nombre): SORETEEEEE. Sos una vergüenza de padre. ¡VAL SE MERECE UN PADRE MEJOR!. SORETEEEE. Te importa más la minucha con la que estas saliendo que tu propia hija. SOS UN SORETE. Mamá de Val: You tried.Dr. Hieler: Man, you're awesome.Pensé que iba a ser un libro SOLO enfocado en el bullying y si bien eso es el origen de todo en realidad este libro es sobre el camino de Val de superación y aceptación personal. No tendría que haberlo leído en publico porque termine:1) Con el estomago revuelto (como cuando te pasa algo malo y vas a vomitar). 2) Con el corazón acelerado como si hubiera corrido cuando lo único que hice fue estar sentada leyendo.3) Con un nudo en la garganta.4) Mordiendome la lengua para no llorar.5) Con los ojos llorosos.6) Pensando "no llores, no llores, no llores..." lo que solo me recordaba por qué quería llorar en primer lugar. 7) Encerrada en el baño tratando de calmarme.Básicamente las peores horas de mi día. Los libros con relaciones difíciles entre padres-hijos me matan. Una cosa son esos al estilo "no me siento suficiente, ellos esperan algo de mi que no soy, no me aceptan como soy realmente ..." que ese es mi pan de cada día (pero, ¿no nos pasa eso a todos?) pero lo de Val y el padre. My gosh. Eso es fucking doloroso. Que deprimente y efímeros son los libros. I mean, los lees y por esas horas o sos feliz o tremendamente triste y los terminas y todo sigue igual, y el ciclo se repite.

  • Maede
    2019-05-18 07:19

    همه چیز از یک اتفاق وحشتناک شروع میشه. یک روز معمولی در مدرسه "نیک" دوست پسر "ولری" اسلحه ای در میاره و شروع می کنه به شلیک کردن. همه ی نفرتی که در وجودش هست خون میشه و مدرسه رو قرمز می کنه. ولری عاشق نیک بود. چطور نمی دونست چنین اتفاقی قرار بود بیوفته؟ یا شاید می دونسته؟ولری هم از اون آدم ها متنفر بود، یعنی واقعاً می خواست که بمیرند؟ ولری هیچ چیز نمی دونهزمان در زندگیش متوقف شده، گذشته مبهمه، نامطمئن، هر چیز که می دونسته اشتباه بوده. حال زجرآوره و آینده ناموجوداین کتاب برعکس شروع میشه. مهم ترین حادثه اتفاق افتاده و ما با شوک بعد از اون شروع می کنیم, با تغییر هایی که این حادثه بزرگ ایجاد می کنه. زندگی بعد از اتفاق همیشه از خودش سخت ترهولری خودش رو گم کرده و چقدر دوست داشتنی بود همراه شدن باهاش در این مسیر تا خودش رو پیدا کنه. دنیاش رو دوباره نگاه کنه. به سختی راهش رو به سمت "ولری جدید" باز کنه. چیزی که راجع به این کتاب دوست داشتم این بود که تغییرات با جملات سنگین و بزرگ نشان داده نمی شد. فقط اتفاق های جزیی تغییرات رو نشون میده دادند یا ایجاد می کردند. درست مثل اتفاقی که در زندگی واقعی اتفاق میوفته، تغییرات لحظه ای و الهام گونه نیست مثل وقتی که ولری تصمیم گرفت ناخن هاش رو صورتی لاک بزنه به جای سیاه همیشگی. که نشون داد تصمیم گرفته تعصبات روی رفتار های گذشته رو رها کنهبه شدت دوست داشتم این کتاب رو در حدی که نصفش رو یک شبه خوندم. و برام جالب بود که می دونستم اتفاق عجیبی در انتظارم نیست، فقط می خواستم بدونم که ولری چکار می کنه؟ چطور از پس زندگی آشفته و خانواده از هم پاشیده و خاطره عشق مرده ای که همه قاتل و بی رحم می شناسندش بر میادهیچ چیز زندگی ولری به من شبیه نیست، ولی من رفتن مسیر سخت بین ولری قدیم به جدید رو خوب درک می کنم. چیزهایی که در این بین از دست میره و چیزهایی که به دست میاد95.8.27

  • Aly (Fantasy4eva)
    2019-05-02 06:34

    With the electricity gone for a good two days and a mere candle to acompany me in a restless night, I spotted HATE LIST which I had purchased well over a year ago. I ignored it really, maybe because I knew it would be a conflicting read.With HATE LIST I went through an array of emotions. There were the good parts, the bad and the in - between bits. For the most part, I spent the majority of the novel seriously pissed.I made some notes in my diary for the first time actually. They are on the rough side, and spur of the moment thoughts, but they are pretty accurate to what I picked up and felt at the time.Let's cut to the chase.Valerie' parents are pretty disgraceful. Her mother is apparently protecting the world from her monster of a daughter and her father is pretty much disgusted by her. Making it clear that he can never forgive her - when it's that SOB that is a shitty father. Can you tell that I really dislike him? I liked how the author showed another side to Nick. To some he was the villain, a killer, whilst through Valerie' and Ginny' eyes we saw that there was also this angry young man who had lived a tough life, struggled with who he was, and was bullied by people who just pushed him to the edge. He was sensitive, loved Shakespeare and was a terrible romantic. These are things people do not want to know when something like this happens. That something contributed to what may have happened, that the victims might have something to do with it, and that this boy who killed - was also a victim. I think it's important to know that though.Having witnessed my fair share of bullying I noticed that a lot in the novel was black and white. The popular kids were the bullies, and, of course - very good looking whilst the losers were grungy, weird and unattractive. I think when you're handling such a heavy handed topic it's important to stay true as possible and not let your characters fall into stereotypes. In fact, I think it's one of the worst things you can do. *Or maybe they were in the authors experience, and if so, I can then understand * Personally, I learned a long time ago that not all bullies are bullies because they are popular or pretty. Some are bullies just because they can be, because they enjoy being mean. There's no particular trait or appearance that can determine that. Valerie was many things. A friend, lover, selfish and brave. Selfish being a big trait of hers. I didn't know how to handle her throughout the book. At times her foolishness grated on me and other times I felt for her. Duce is right when he says that it was all about her. She never considered how others that loved Nick would be feeling. Yes she's self centred and tough to like, but I couldn't completely hate her. With parents like hers, I think she's incredibly brave to hold out for as long as she did. She walked into the that school, she admitted whatever part she may have played and did the best she could. I have to take that into account. I admire that about her. I don't blame her for what happened. She may have created THE HATE LIST that her boyfriend used to kill people, but without the list he would have done it anyway. So I'm not going to sit here and accuse her of anything because it simply wasn't her fault.The girl was really stupid at times. The both of them wished some pretty gruesome things upon their classmates. They went a bit too far, and although Valerie wasn't all that serious, it was apparent that Nick was. To me it seemed that bitching about their classmates was almost a hobby for them. It was something that had brought them together - this mutual hate for others, but eventually it seemed Valerie just went along with the bitching because it bought them closer together. This was her mistake. Getting carried away for the wrong reasons. If it's something like this that's makes you feel close and connected to your boyfriend then something is clearly wrong. When I first started the book I put it down and considered leaving it for a while, but it was when I picked it back up, read a few more pages that I found myself really immersed.JIMMY! Major let down here. We are introduced to all these characters that knew Nick and our MC, but the guy that Nick had been spending more and more time with in those last few months, the guy that had changed Nick, was actually never seen. We never knew if he had something to do with it or what his thoughts were on this whole thing. I thought that was a total cop - out and it really annoyed me. Lack of depth when it came to a lot of characters. There is Troy, Ginny, Stacey, Josh, Mason, Jessica and David. All these are connected to our MC somehow, but we know practically nothing about them. Jessica bullied Valerie, but now ironically reaches out to her because our MC saved her life. Stacey, David, Mason and Duce used to be her friend's once - until she pushed them away, so now they all blank her. This I found iffy. Sure she was being selfish, but it's silly to me that after all they have been through, and since they were genuine friends, that they would hold such a grudge against her. I don't know what to think of that. But we do get a hint of how they feel. Like when Duce sees her at the graveyard. There is a glimpse there of how her ex - friends were affected but it's brief and simply not enough. There were so many important characters in my opinion, like Duce, Stacey and Josh that should be been explored more.Valerie' brother Frankie is an interesting one. The nice kid who goes to church and is popular with the ladies. He's been supportive and sweet throughout it all, but the boy is obviously harbouring some mixed feelings. Valerie actually acknowledges that he's been neglected by her parents since they are focusing on her but actually does nothing about it. But then again our MC selfishness was very clear to me from the start.Bea anyone? Amazing women. Once again - very mysterious, but I'm ok with that when it comes to her. She's supportive and seems to understand Valerie more than her parents do, and this goes the same for DR. Hieler. That man is incredible and obviously amazing at what he does. He clearly really helps Valerie pull through when she is struggling most.I just finished listening to "If Everyone Cared" By Nickelback - the actual song that inspired the author to write the book. Wow. Amazing. Beautiful, and makes me see the book in a different light. There are things that I will probably always be conflicted on when it comes to the book, but as someone who came from a school filled with bullying I get it. I get HATE LIST, I get why Valerie hated those that she did - even after they died. I get her, I get Nick. I really do and it's from experience that I get HATE LIST. I can see teenagers, bullied victims - really soaking in this book. Tearing up and just bawling when it all comes rushing back - and it's here that I give the author her due. It's angry, raw and gritty but perhaps so becuase the author was able to write from experience. It made it achingly realistic at times.As simple as this may be, as frustrating. When I think of Nick and Valerie - I think kids, and I think immaturity. I think of that mashing with misery and anger and see a whole lot of destruction. It's not about evil, the bad or good in my opinion. It's about kids who were immature, confused and hurt, and about a boy who was all of that and let all these emotions get the better of him. But I suppose, one doesn't like to think that it's things like immaturity that may be the cause, but sometimes I think it's important to see it for what it is. However hurtful it may be.I can't rate this book though. Too personal, too many conflicted thoughts, and no rating would seem fair or quite right to be honest. So I'll leave the review to let you form your own opinion and to help you decide if this book is for you.

  • Kim
    2019-04-26 06:23

    “Perhaps it is only human nature to inflict suffering on anything that will endure suffering, whether by reason of its genuine humility, or indifference, or sheer helplessness.” ― Honoré de BalzacPerhaps. Some article some where said that this was one of those 'must read' young adult books. I didn't really read into it to see why. The title sort of piqued my interest. Who didn't have a hate list? Right? My 25th high school reunion was 2 days ago. I found this out because a couple of friends from middle school had facebooked me and I saw a few posts about partying it up with the class of 1988. I admit, I was interested. I looked at their photos. I looked at some of the profiles of people that made my life hell. (I have that stalker thing going on.) I have that need to see if these people are miserable. I still ( still) want them to be miserable. I guess I haven't grown, much. I recently finished Margaret Atwood's beautifully written book dealing with bullying, Cat's Eye, and found myself too wound up to actually write a review. Too emotional, too full. I then readkaren'sreview and thought that she summed it up pretty well. There is a hollow that comes from those scars.. it changes you even when you are not sure how or why. Now I find that I can't escape this topic. I have a daughter in middle school. I see her suffer from those hateful little beasts day in and day out. I want to shield her, I want to pummel them. I want to tell her it will be okay, but I know that it will not, because here I am, living proof, that it is not. Do you really ever get over bullying? Does the Hate List ever get dismissed?It's been 25 years since I left the hell of high school social life and I still have the scar tissue.. tender even.... I finished this book within 24 hours and while I read the words, the images that formed were not of Val and Nick and Jessica and Christy, but of my own demons. Of the Twissas, and Dereks, and Sues that I see posing in photo booth pictures at the reunion acting like this was such a great time in their lives. Sure, maybe it was. Maybe they've blocked out the horrible things that they did, the horrible people that they were and chocked it up to youth. Fuck them, I say. I'm not ready to get over it. This book wasn't outstanding, but it did have some interesting messages.... How the media represents the 'healing process' of the schools after such a massacre. How very Columbine it was (although we've experienced too many such massacres since, Columbine is the one that always comes to my mind) How schools come together after a tragedy. Right. Sure it does."People hate. That's our reality. People hate and are hated and carry grudges and want punishments.The news tells us that hate is no longer our reality.I don't know if it's possible to take hate away from people. Not even people like us, who've seen firsthand what hate can do. We're all hurting. We're all going to be hurting for a long time. And we, probably more than anyone else out there, will be searching for a new reality every day. A better one." The cynical part of me says 'Good luck with that.' I can't see a better reality for people who carry that grudge. I can tell you that I am not a good enough person to say that after 25 years I didn't see all the same faces as I read through this book, that I didn't sympathize with the killer. Maybe it was the reunion that brought that out in me... but I didn't feel anything but the old resentments surface. I'm afraid to face my 12 year old today. I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lie and tell her that it goes away. My words will sound hollow and will drift (much like this review has). This makes me sadder than you will ever know.

  • Helen
    2019-05-19 06:30

    The Hate List is by no means a cheerful read, but it is an important one. The plot begins in the aftermath of a school shooting where several students are murdered before the shooter, Nick, commits suicide. The story is told from the perspective of Valerie, Nick’s girlfriend and fellow social outcast. Valerie herself is implicated in the shooting, despite being shot herself protecting another student. The police, her school friends, even her own family, all start accusing her of being Nick’s accomplice once the ‘hate list’ they wrote together comes to light. In this list, which was originally Valerie’s idea, everyone who had ever bullied or tormented her or Nick is written down. From Valerie's perspective it was an innocent enough act of defiance, but the list goes on to be massively blown out of proportion once the police realise that Nick used it to choose his victims. Of course, Valerie had no idea what Nick was plotting, but the other characters don’t benefit from Valerie’s internal monologue like the reader does, all they see is the cold, hard evidence, which admittedly is looking pretty bad for her. I found Valerie to be a surprisingly sympathetic character. Going into this novel, I assumed I would think she was naive to the point of idiocy for falling in love with someone as clearly troubled as Nick was, and then making a hate/death list with him, but, honestly, I came to understand how she did all those things. Brown writes Valerie’s internal voice so well, and conveys her inner conflict and guilt so fluently, that Valerie never seems like a truly bad person, in fact, she’s as much a victim of Nick’s shooting as anyone. She lost the boy she loved, and wasn’t even permitted to mourn him. A lot of prose is devoted to Valerie’s inner conflict, whether she’s battling over her feelings for Nick or whether she could have done something to stop the massacre, so if you don’t like that sort of thing and prefer reading more dialogue and action heavy stories, then this book may not be for you.I read this in a couple of sittings and, despite the heavy subject matter, it is a remarkably quick read. I liked how both sides of the conflict are humanised; the reader can understand why Valerie hated her tormentors enough to create a hate list, but, at the same time, the people who bullied her were just stupid kids trying to fit in, and certainly didn’t deserve their fates any more than Valerie deserved their abuse. It’s interesting to see how schools full of young people, the majority of whom are decent and well-meaning human beings, can become such toxic environments. I thought the burgeoning friendship between Valerie and Jessica, the girl Valerie saved from Nick, was particularly well-written, as Jessica finally realises the consequences of her actions in the most brutal way possible. The story had a great cast of characters, and made for a very thought-provoking read.

  • Mary
    2019-05-24 07:20

    First thought after I finished: Can everyone just go and read this book, please? Thank you.I love it when a book creeps up on me and sucker punches me in the gut, yelling: “hello yes I am now in your top favourite books of all time and I don’t plan on leaving”. Hate List did this. I am in love with this book. I cried so much while reading it and it really struck a chord with me. At first look, Hate List is a book about a school shooting and about the aftermath of that. On May 2nd 2007, Nick opened fire on the students in his high school. After a rampage, during which he shoots several teachers and students, including his girlfriend, Valerie, in the leg, when she jumped in front of another student, he turns the gun on himself. It’s so much more than a book about a school shooting, though. It’s Valerie’s story. She survives after being shot, but her whole world is turned upside down, when the authorities discover a plethora of incriminating evidence, that throws suspicion on her knowing about (and even helping with) Nick’s plan. Her world falls apart even more than it did before. Sensitive material in books is always difficult to tackle. Whether it’s mental illness, depression, eating disorders, it’s very tricky to write about subjects like these. Hate List touches point with several similar themes: suicidal thoughts, bullying, school shooting. It paints a sad picture, of a boy driven to extremes by the behavior of his peers, combined with his inner struggles and other outside factors. It paints the sad picture of a girl feeling guilty and responsible (the Hate List was written by both of them, as a way to vent frustration, and it contained the names of everyone who had ever been mean to them), of a girl who is torn between the image of a loving boyfriend and a cold blooded killer, forced to reconcile these two images, of a girl trying to heal, who pushes everyone away, because it’s easier to just let go, than try to make an effort. This is one of those books that leaves you so torn. We see Nick through Val’s eyes and we’re as conflicted as she is, because in her eyes, Nick was a good person. He was a son and a friend and a loved one. Yet good people can do horrible things. I’m not making excuses for him, it’s just how I felt at times while reading this. We see the abuse they both suffer: being called names, being bullied, we see the struggles they both face at home and we see the warning signs. Yet, there’s nothing we can do. We sit there helplessly and see it all go down.It’s a very thought provoking book and I often found myself stopping while reading it, to just think it through. And it made me mad. It made me so mad. Especially at Val’s parents - despite the fact that she was cleared by the authorities, something broke in that relationship - her mom was paranoid, protecting the world from her and not the other way around, her father was a piece of trash (I screamed at him more than once). The way I see it, you support your kid. You help them. You offer protection and advice. You don’t accuse them of destroying your family, or threaten to disown them. I have a lot of not-so-nice things to say about them. At least they did the good thing by sending her to therapy - which helps. I am so happy to see a book where the inclusion of therapy shows progress and shows that it does help. This was beautifully written (warning that there is a time hop between chapters - going back and forth from the shooting to a few months later), full of emotion, real and raw. However, the problem with books like this is that they’re either a hit or a miss. They rely a lot on personal experience. But judge for yourselves. Give it a try.Favourite quotes:“People do it all the time–assume that they “know” what’s going on in someone else’s head. That’s impossible. And to think it’s possible is a mistake. A really big mistake. A life-ruining one if you’re not careful.” “You may not have pulled the trigger, but you helped cause the tragedy.” “Time’s never up", she whispered, not looking at me, but at my canvas. “Just like there’s always time for pain, there’s always time for healing. Of course there is.” ★★★★★To everyone who got this far, thank you for reading and have a wonderful day! Also, feel free to share your thoughts, comment or tell me anything :)

  • Jennifer
    2019-05-23 11:24

    ***SPOILER ALERT***Thought-provoking, sad and disarming, this book is a reflection on school shootings and the effects they have on the survivors.Val has been with Nick for 3 years and loves him, even though she's found him difficult to talk to recently. At the beginning of their relationship, she shares her "hate list" with him (people who she hates) and they find they have a mutual dislike of many. One day, Nick comes to school with a gun and targets not only those on the list, but others. Val finds herself trying to figure out whether or not she was the cause of the shootings, even though she was the one who stopped Nick at the end.I could not put this book down once I started it. Although it wouldn't be considered "literary" in the traditional sense, I think the author deals with a very difficult subject matter with grace. The author never sensationalizes the shootings and creates a fully-realized character in Val.Teens are going to eat this book up. I have a feeling that once they start reading it, it's going to fly off the shelves in libraries and bookstores.

  • Andy
    2019-05-23 06:34

    I'm not going to write massive amounts on this book, but put simply I would have easily given a 5 star review if it weren't for the confusing tense changes up until about half way through the novel.The second book of the year to make me cry, multiple times in fact. The story becomes so much more that what is represented at first glance, and it went to places that really reached out to me.Phenomenal read.

  • Paul Bryant
    2019-05-22 10:22

    Hate List is a YA novel about the aftermath of a school shooting. Okay, you do get the pre-math and the math itself, a little bit, but 90% is about the aftermath. I don't read YA novels because I'm an A and no longer Y but I read this one because life is pretty random, just like school shootings. One here, one there, who knows where the next one will be? All you know is, there will be a next one.This is an anguished tale told in the voice of 16 or 17 year old Valerie, and she went out with this lovely guy called Nick for three years, since she was 14 or 15 I guess, but he figured it was time for a crime like Columbine and he terminated their relationship by shooting a lot of their schoolmates, one teacher, Valerie herself, and then himself. After that, there was no possibility of a reconciliation. Some things can't be unsaid.This book follows the complicated and frankly horrendous emotional, physical, familial and of course psychological fallout from the shooting. For instance, most of the school thinks Valerie was in cahoots with Nick, after all, she was his girlfriend and she wrote the famous hate List which is exposed to all by the police. But some think no, on the day of the massacre she was trying to stop him. It gets messy and depressing and I confess there were big globby tears in my eyes as I read the final scenes, which I had to surreptitiously wipe away in case my daughter spotted me as she was in the room, but I think I got away with it. Yes there were a few things to complain about – for instance, Jennifer Brown, you need to check your head – please never again call your characters stupid names like Dr. Hieler (!) - and the shooting boyfriend is Nick Levil !! Give me a break. Also, but this is probably only a reflection of reality, if you took three words out of the conversations in this book, it would be 50 pages shorter – can you guess the words? Yes – cool, lame, and totally. Our narrator Valerie writes in a minimalist zoned-out style which I found completely believable. I'm not saying she's the new Emma Bovary but she comes alive. She does say quite a few things like :I had to bite my palms when I stepped out of the elevator on the fourth floor into the vestibule of the psychiatric ward at Garvin general. Sample dialogue - Valerie is visiting a shooting victim who has been left disfigured."Yeah, they make suicides stay for three days or something like that. But most of them end up staying longer because their parents are so freaked out. Is your mom freaked out?""She is so beyond freaked you have no idea."One big point this novel makes, by implication, is how easily young women can turn into pretty young zombies. Valerie kind of sleepwalks along with her lovely boyfriend. She's influenced by his darkness, his infatuation with death, okay, yes, the G word is not used but this young couple are clearly Goths. Black eyeliner is mentioned. Why Nick is constantly picked on at Garvin High School is also not really explored in much detail, but after the brief scenes which describe his poverty stricken home life and his tatty clothes clearly the motive for the bullying has more than a whiff of class prejudice about it. As Nick's anguish about being a continual target at school deepens, Valerie is still thinking that it's Val&Nick against the world and just by throwing up this screen of hatred expressed in the Hate List she writes up in her journal, they can survive. She doesn't see he's taking it all to a whole other level. Oh those horrendous later realisations! Ah humanity!I didn't realise you were so unhappy.I didn't realise what your life was really like.and worseI didn't realise you meant it!At the end of the novel we are presented with an interview with the author who helpfully answers questions like Why was Valerie's dad so mean? (I wondered that too) and after that the first chapter of Jennifer Brown's next novel! How ...er...nice! Thank you! This did not used to happen in the days of Gustave Flaubert or James Joyce but it may have been useful. All in all, another gothtastic, maxillo-facial read : 3.5 stars.

  • Catherine ♡
    2019-05-01 05:30

    Actual Rating:4.25Oh man, if I could describe this book in one word, it would be thought-provoking.How many times have you wished for someone to die, or to feel the pain that you were feeling?How many times have you been consumed with hatred or disgust or pain that you just wanted to end it - not only for yourself, but for everyone else too?For me, too many times.Jennifer Brown's Hate List is about the aftermath of a school shooting. Valerie, the main character, struggles with accepting herself and being accepted by those in society as the girlfriend of the perpetrator (Nick), who not only shot up their enemies, but shot himself as well.Valerie is something of an antihero - she helped create a list of victims (although she didn't know what it would become), but on the other hand, she also stopped the shooting by jumping in front of a potential victim, resulting in Nick's immediate suicide.So what is she? An accomplice or a savior?It is this part of her identity that she now struggles with - she is torn between guilt and innocence, and it is this same distinction that others are too quick to make.As Valerie's identity is blurred, her family falls apart, along with the lives of those around her.Hate List follows Valerie (and everyone she knows) as they try to come to terms with this tragedy and move on with their lives.The writing is so powerful.As someone who not only holds grudges but also has a pretty volatile temper, Jennifer Brown's Hate List hit me on a very personal level, where I not only connected with Valerie, but also with Nick and Jessica and Duce and everyone in between.This book raises a lot of questions as well, especially concerning issues of gun control, mental health, and bullying - but it focuses more on the last two, putting into the spotlight concerns such as:What is the breaking point? How do you control the difference between feeling anger and acting on it?And when it is bullying that drives someone to do something like this, who receives the blame?After reading this book, I would say: a little bit of everyone.People are so used to seeing school shooters as two-dimensional, flat criminals or evil masterminds, but what Brown does is turn Nick into someone who is so layered and multifaceted so that readers don't only as Nick the shooter, but also as Nick the victim, Nick the boyfriend, and Nick the best friend.It is hard to imagine that they are not all cruel and heartless killers, but it's true - maybe they're just people who have been in pain for too long.But what doesn't change is that what they do hurts everyone - this book is a powerful reminder that these things happen, and that these things are real.School Shootings, misrepresentations in media, bullying - Brown touches up on so many issues in real life and she does it in an absolutely touching and captivating way.Oh, but one more thing. The parents in this are absolutely a w f u l. They are distrustful, unsupportive, selfish, you name it - and although it's true that sometimes my dislike of characters is what ruins a book for me, this time it was different. It was because of the way Valerie was frustrated and hurt because of those characters that allowed me to relate to this and connect with this book on a personal level.All in all, I'd say that this was a heartbreakingly real book about a girl's journey to accepting herself and dealing with her own guilt and anger. But thats not all this book is - it's a story about everyone's path to understanding, and most of all, the difference between controlling your pain or letting it control you.

  • Lynda
    2019-05-25 12:24

    School shooting is a topic of intense interest around the world, particularly in the United States where most have taken place. A thorough study of all United States school shootings by the U.S. Secret Service warned against the belief that a certain "type" of student would be a perpetrator. While it may be simplistic to assume a straightforward "profile", the study did find certain similarities among the perpetrators. The researchers found that: killers do not 'snap'. They plan. They acquire weapons. These children take a long, considered, public path toward violence.Bullying is common in schools and seemed to play a role in the lives of many of the school shooters. Often, they are rejected by their peers and follow through by restoring justice in what they see as an unjust situation. Their plan for restoration many times results in violence. 87% of school shooters claimed or left behind evidence of them being victims of bullying.Hate List combines both of these themes. It is about Valerie, a student in Jnr High, who one day decides to start a list in a notebook. The list is about all of the people and things in life that bug her. Then she meets Nick. They become a couple and soon she shares the list with him. The list becomes their "thing" that they discuss and add to; the bullies, the tormentors, the thugs. The list is just a way to vent and release the pressures of life....or so Valerie thought....until one day Nick pulls a gun in the common room and starts to shoot those who appear on “the list”. Valerie tries desperately to stop him and ends up being shot herself, before Nick finally turns the gun on himself. Six students and one teacher die and many are injured. The list is soon discovered by police and Valerie is immediately implicated as an accomplice in the shooting.The rest of the story is about how Valerie comes to terms with the shooting, the conflicting physical and emotional feelings she experiences, the therapy sessions she goes through, the pain of losing friends and the trust of family, and the strength required to move forward. It is about one girl’s journey of guilt and atonement, after circumstances that could not have been prevented.Hate List, Jennifer Brown's debut novel, is complex and unique, heartbreaking and emotional, but also insightful and hopeful. She does not hold back in writing what needs to be said and is brilliant at portraying the trauma and guilt that Valerie feels. The realism of characters is simply superb.Hate List cannot be considered a shallow or light read, for the hard-hitting themes and thoughts it provokes. I highly recommend it; it will surely impact every reader in some way.

  • Jennifer Wardrip
    2019-05-15 04:20

    Reviewed by Karin Librarian for TeensReadToo.comValerie is alone. Her family tiptoes around her, her friends act like she doesn't exist, and most of the people in the community think she should be dead.Valerie's boyfriend, the person she trusted more than anyone else, shattered her life when he brought a gun to school and wounded several students and killed many others, including himself. Most people believe Valerie was involved, but she had no idea what Nick was planning.After spending weeks in the hospital recovering from a near-fatal gunshot wound to the leg, Valerie is moved to the psychiatric ward for observation. Afterwards, during her many therapy sessions, she begins to think back on her relationship with Nick and all the events that led up to the terrible act that changed an entire community.HATE LIST is an extremely powerful story. I was in tears for the last eighty pages and felt emotionally drained by the time I reached the last page. Jennifer Brown has given us a wonderful example of the importance of keeping a watchful eye out for bullying in our schools.Valerie is a strong character and it was great to witness her healing process. Once I started HATE LIST I couldn't stop. I read every chance I could. Even though the subject matter is very serious, this book was a pleasure to read.Thank you, Ms. Brown.

  • Drew
    2019-05-13 08:34

    “I saw everyone, a shifting sea of discomfort and sadness, each person carrying his own pain, each telling her own stories, no story more or less tragic or triumphant than any other.”Hate List showed how something can happen so quickly and have long-lasting effects. This book focused on no light matter: a school shooting. Interestingly, the author chose to have it narrated by the shooter's girlfriend, Valerie.How horrible would it be for your boyfriend to shoot up your school, accidentally shoot you, then kill himself? While Valerie is grieving the death of the love of her life, Nick, his actions have left everyone terrified - and full of hatred for Nick. Yet Valerie can't help remembering the playful, gentle side of her boyfriend who quoted Shakespeare and loved her.This was a great psychological study. Nobody was portrayed as black and white; the victims of the shooting tormented Nick, because he was an outcast and they knew they could get away with it. As the reader, we're asked to sympathize with Valerie, feel her grief, anger, and despair and understand who Nick was before he committed an unforgivable act.Valerie is a victim, but she is far from innocent. She helps Nick create a Hate List, where they write down the names of people they despise. When the police discover the Hate List it turns accusations her way. People think she planned the shooting with Nick. They say all kinds of nasty things until Valerie starts to wonder: is she really responsible for the deaths?Valerie's life was so sad and frustrating; I couldn't help feeling sympathy for her because of her awful parents, the way people treated her since the shooting - some going so far as to threaten her - and how she lost everyone's trust… all because of something she had no hand in.The media likes to portray victims as shining angels and shooters as evil monsters who maybe played too many video games or were into drugs, when the truth is no one is perfect - a victim can easily be the monster, and the shooter has a reason, in their own twisted way, for their actions. Here, the author worked hard to humanize both sides of this tragedy.Despite its violent title, this book was very much about healing. Eventually Valerie came to terms with Nick, herself, and realized she viewed people wrong. It was a great take on a serious and sad subject and something I would definitely recommend for open minded readers.

  • Zoe Kay
    2019-04-25 08:23

    Honestly, I my main problem with this book is that I found Valerie very difficult to relate to and understand. At points I could connect with the character, but she seemed selfish and acted, in my opinion, unrealistically when faced with certain situations, like just (view spoiler)[leaving completely (hide spoiler)] at the end of the book. She just seems off. Nick was also very annoying to read about. She tried to highlight Nick's "good side," but he shot up a school. The author doesn't emphasize the fact that he literally murdered his own peers. Instead, I felt like Brown was playing Nick off as a "really good guy, just sad" instead of "this guy is considered a serial killer." I have a lot of interest in school shootings, specifically Columbine, and, to me, Nick was poorly written out.I felt detached as other readers have until the end. I did enjoy her therapist during all his mentions and Bea, but the ending was the only part I can say I truly enjoyed about this book. Everyone was very black-and-white besides Valerie and Nick. Either they're a good guy or a bad guy. No inbetween. Jessica was saintly, "popular people" anti-christs, etc. No one had a deep side.Lastly, how on Earth does no one care about the shootings a year later? They mention that the shootings just got a moment of silence and everyone already moved on, even if they saw their best friends die. I think it takes a lot more to just get past it like that. That would not at all be an aftermath of a shooting.Overall, mixed feelings.