Read Stardust by Mimi Strong Online


There I was, minding my own business at Peachtree Books when this lunatic comes racing in the door and knocks me into his arms. I would have ripped him a new one, but he was kinda familiar, and hot. Like I-want-to-have-your-sexy-babies-now hot.Turns out he looks familiar because I stare at his gorgeous face on TV every week. Yup, Dalton Deangelo. In the oh-so-firm flesh.IThere I was, minding my own business at Peachtree Books when this lunatic comes racing in the door and knocks me into his arms. I would have ripped him a new one, but he was kinda familiar, and hot. Like I-want-to-have-your-sexy-babies-now hot.Turns out he looks familiar because I stare at his gorgeous face on TV every week. Yup, Dalton Deangelo. In the oh-so-firm flesh.I let him hide out from the press for a while, then I thought he'd be on his way, and I could breathe normally again. But no. He found me interesting. He wanted to tag along to my cousin's wedding with me. I couldn't say no to that face ... or THOSE EYES. Before the night was through, he was saying sweet things, then dirty things. Very dirty things.I try to keep my eyes wide open. I've made terrible, stupid mistakes in the past. But Dalton Deangelo's touch turns me to Jell-O.I'm just a regular girl, and he's rich and famous with no body fat. The guy has a butler! So, why is he chasing me? And why can't I say no? And what is this sordid secret of his the reporters are trying to uncover?...

Title : Stardust
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9781484968048
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 288 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Stardust Reviews

  • Shurrn
    2018-12-12 04:43

    The perfect blend of comedy, romance, and awkwardness...“Please don’t say the f-word, and I don’t mean fuck.”“Okay. Not fat. We’ll call my ass… too wide for narrow minds.” This was a sweet little BBW romance with a superstar twist. Who doesn't dream of running into their celebrity crush and getting caught up in a whirlwind romance? This story features a ton of awkward (but endearing) humor and is told from the perspective of the heroine, complete with sassy inner-monologue...Petra "Peaches" Monroe“Just be yourself,” I whispered to myself. “Except be more fucking charming and not weird. And stop talking to yourself.” Peaches runs a little bookstore in her home town, and at the age of twenty-two she's finally coming to terms with her body (which is curvier than most) and her personality (which lacks a brain to mouth filter). She's established the perfect quiet existence in her hometown until a stranger barges through the door of her bookstore and literally knocks her off her feet.Dalton Deangelo“Let's just be two souls tonight. Two souls who are made of stardust, and found their way back to each other, the way they were destined to.” He's the dreamy star of a TV Vampire drama and the object of every woman's fantasy - a certain roommate of our heroine even named her vibrator after him - and somehow the stars aligned to have him shooting a film in the same small town that Peaches grew up in...Add in some precocious paparazzi,some post high-school drama,crazy extended families,and one dark secret...And you get a highly entertaining, laugh-out-loud Rom-Com! I Should warn that there's a cliffhanger, and two more books in this completed series.The use of cutesy nicknames for genitalia was equal parts amusing and distracting... It took me a while to wrap my head around the tone of this book, but once I did, it was easy to sit back and let things roll...Some of the highlights:meatflaps,pleasure pumpkin,pink petunia...Some of My Favorite Moments:(view spoiler)[He looked at me as if seeing me without any clothes on.For the record, I did not hate this feeling.“Let's just be two souls tonight. Two souls who are made of stardust, and found their way back to each other, the way they were destined to.”I got that overexcited-ovaries-in-squealing-mode feeling you can only get from seeing a strong, handsome man being kind to icing-crusted children.I'm stupid in the way that only a girl with a Mensa-level IQ can be. Ask me to calculate the volume of a three-foot-tall barrel with a one-foot radius, and I'll tell you. Those questions about two trains traveling at different speeds? Love 'em. They're like Sudoku to me. I can spell anything, and I do the crossword in pen.Yet when it comes to guys and dating, I'm a Capital-D Dum-dum.“You could have had your meatflaps moistened by Mr. Smoldering Eyeballs himself, but I can loan you Drake for the night if you run him through the dishwasher.”Giggling, I said, “And tonight, I was going to sleep with him. Dalton Deangelo. With his penis right up in my vagina and everything.”“The object of your ladyboner lust will be back..."“Be yourself, because everyone else is taken. Every one of us is a role model. We just don’t know yet for whom.”My gaze got stuck briefly around his zipper, pondering exactly what was causing a sizable shadow in that area. A wrinkle in the fabric? A giant python? A tree trunk for one to climb with her bare-naked vagina?He looks like he climbs mountains, with lesser men strapped to his back.“Just be yourself,” I whispered to myself. “Except be more fucking charming and not weird. And stop talking to yourself.”I picked up my wine and swirled it around in the glass. “You cad.”“That’s a good word,” he said. “People don’t call each other cads nearly enough.”This man had clearly been to Pussy School. He licked, sucked, and swirled his tongue in a way I’d never imagined possible. I mean, I’d heard about such things, but never experienced them."...Holy fuckchops. I’ll just die now, excuse me.”“I don’t think you’re a big fan of the Airstream.”“Are you kidding? It combines the best parts of being abducted by aliens with the best parts of being a pioneer, taking the wagon train west and getting dysentery.”“People don’t know what it feels like to truly be themselves, let alone other people.”He and I were simply not in competition with each other. We were in beautiful contrast.No sense trying to deny the desires of my flesh. He was like the Pied Piper of modern day, his voice the enchanting music that lured the youth away from the small village, and his flute was… well… sort of flute-shaped, depending on how you looked at it. Ugh. I needed to stop thinking about his flute, and start using my head.“You’re kind of a dick sometimes.”He raised his eyebrows in a bitches-be-crazy-sometimes kind of look— the exact look that actually makes us crazy.“Petra. I may be twice your age, but I know what goes on at Dolphin Falls. And don’t forget, my generation invented the concept of shit getting real.”I sighed and looked around me, at all the books lovingly stacked on bookshelves all the way up to the ceiling. So many words, so much wisdom, and what did I know? Nothing.Here’s the problem with every woman’s wardrobe:The person who buys the clothes is not the same person who later has to wear them.Perhaps it’s a brain disorder? A type of split personality? Rampant, unfettered optimism?“You seem so happy,” he murmured.“To you, sure. I’m happy whenever you’re around, you big, stupid monkey."He took in an audible breath. “That may be the greatest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”“Would you like to come in for a nightcap?”“I have to be back on-set in nine hours, which means I can only come in and fuck you for eight and a half straight hours.”“Then I guess we’ll skip the nightcap and get right to the fucking.”“Please don’t say the f-word, and I don’t mean fuck.”“Okay. Not fat. We’ll call my ass… too wide for narrow minds.”She winked at me. “Like many gorgeous things in LA, this home’s had a little work.” (hide spoiler)]["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

  • SueBee★bring me an alpha!★
    2018-12-02 02:48

    FREE on Amazon US today (10/6/2014)BLURB:There I was, minding my own business at Peachtree Books when this lunatic comes racing in the door and knocks me into his arms. I would have ripped him a new one, but he was kinda familiar, and hot. Like I-want-to-have-your-sexy-babies-now hot.Turns out he looks familiar because I stare at his gorgeous face on TV every week. Yup, Dalton Deangelo. In the oh-so-firm flesh.I let him hide out from the press for a while, then I thought he'd be on his way, and I could breathe normally again. But no. He found me interesting. He wanted to tag along to my cousin's wedding with me. I couldn't say no to that face ... or THOSE EYES. Before the night was through, he was saying sweet things, then dirty things. Very dirty things.I try to keep my eyes wide open. I've made terrible, stupid mistakes in the past. But Dalton Deangelo's touch turns me to Jell-O.I'm just a regular girl, and he's rich and famous with no body fat. The guy has a butler! So, why is he chasing me? And why can't I say no? And what is this sordid secret of his the reporters are trying to uncover?

  • Ginnie
    2018-11-13 05:45

    I was given this ARC for an honest review and here goes my honesty. Let me start off by telling you how I feel and then I will tell you about the book in a bit. WHYYYYYYY???? Why did this book have to end and really with a cliffhanger of all things!! Dear sweet Mimi are you trying to kill me?? I am such an emotional wreck right now it's not even funny, I mean my hands are shaking right now. If you can't tell, I absolutely LOVED, LOVED this book and I want more Peaches.Oh the wonderful characters, I do believe I loved every single one of them and that doesn't happen a lot. Oh Peaches, you may now be the love of my life. You are simply just amazing. And like me you have no filter, I love seeing a woman who just pretty much says what pops up in her head. And oh Dalton?(crap sorry I forgot his name, I know that's terrible)(yay that is his name) I wanted to love him also but something in the back of my head just kept sending off little warning bells. I won't lie and say I didn't find him incredibly edible and was very curious about his meatballs and all that. I was so worried that he was pulling something on her and I may have been right but I am so hoping somehow it was just a jacked up fluke or I may have to hurt him. If not I hope she kicks him in the balls and walks away.This story was absolutely amazing and it was just what I needed to read. I found myself busting out laughing so many times that people were looking at me funny, so don't read this in public people or someone may call the men in white coats to come get you. I laughed and I teared up and the only time I got angry was when that last page said "Fall 2013" Argh!! See you have turned me into a pirate Mimi. It was well written and just flowed and I never wanted to put it down. Sigh but it was all over to soon, is it time for the next book yet?? READ THIS BOOK PEOPLE!! Maybe then you will understand why I sound like a crazy person right now. My song for this book: Wicked Games by Stone Sour

  • deardiary
    2018-12-05 05:53

    Penispenispenispenispenis!There I said it. Now that wasn't so hard, was it, Peaches? If I had to hear Peaches refer to Dalton's penis as his meat flute one more time, I was going to find a way to reach into my Kindle so I could smack the shit out of her. You're 22 years old, for Pete's sake! If you can't say it, you have no right going anywhere near it.And don't even get me started on the Lionheart scene. (view spoiler)[I don't know about you, but I don't find it a turn on to scream out your pony's name while climaxing. I get the idea behind it since she was denied the pony ride when she was younger, but no...just no. (hide spoiler)]As for the rest of the story, it was just ok. I don't really care for any of the characters in the book and I feel like nothing really happened plot-wise. They met, they had sex lots of times...and that's about it.Sigh. I had such high hopes for this book. I wanted something light and fluffy and funny, but I was sorely disappointed. However, I will say that I'll probably read the sequel since I do want to see the aftermath of the cliffhanger so that's something. Hopefully Peaches will grow up by then and stop using all those euphemisms.Penis.["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

  • Jillian
    2018-12-10 00:50

    *ARC COPY*First off, thank you so much Mimi and Annie for thinking of me and giving me an ARC copy and for that, here is my honest review.->I don't think this is spoiler-ishI had a lot of mixed feelings about this story.... I enjoy Mimi's writing, and how each of her books is completely different, its refreshing, but I found this one lacking what it could be.When the book began I felt that Dalton and Peaches relationship moved way too fast, neither of them really waited for trust to build before they jumped all over each other.... but it wasn't like a one night stand because they continued to see one another... I don't know.. Their relationship simply felt strange to me, and its not because he's a movie star.Peaches was quirky and cute but, I kind of found her constant metaphors and analogies annoying, I think its because I'm blunt and "say it as it is" or how I think it is. But she was consistent and refused to change for anyone, which I respect. I understand that there are going to be more stories with Peaches and Dalton but this story somewhat dragged for me because nothing really happened, and nothing was resolved. I'll admit that the ending did surprise me and left me wanting more but I was frustrated with the story up until that point.Peaches really didn't come to any self discovery like I felt that she should, the whole story she is putting herself down to the point where I kinda wanted to shake her; if you are that unhappy with your weight or attitude, then do something about it.Dalton on the other hand.... I wanted to like him but, he rubbed me the wrong way. I don't know what it is but he felt fake to me and when he fed her that stardust line I called bullshit on that one. There were times when he was charming but to me he seemed careless and... I dunno, something was off.Adrian was cute, and I kinda wish Peaches would've given him a chance instead of being all gung-ho Dalton but I have a feeling that he will be a much bigger part in the books to come.Overall, the book was steamy and cute but something was missing for me... I wish I could put my finger on it but, I'm really not sure why I'm not head over heals in love.... but I guess I really didn't bond and fall in love with these characters as I normally do..All I can say is, give it a chance, it wasn't really for me but it might be for you.

  • Dee Montoya
    2018-12-13 00:38

    *****5+++++ Charming Stars****MUST READ ALERT!!! ~ MUST READ ALERT!!! ~ MUST READ ALERT!!! ~ MUST READ ALERT!!I'm going to keep this review short and sweet because I need to start the next book immediately!!! Thank God is out already, otherwise we would have BIG problems, Mimi Strong and I, just kidding! (*wink). Sorry peeps I'm letting my emotions and my anxiety to continue my reading get the best of me. I honestly can't find the right words to describe how much I adored this book; Petra "Peaches" Monroe kept a huge smile on my face and crazy full on belly laughs from page one till the very intriguing end. So don't delay my darlings, and go read this book and bask on the fun!!!Peaches Monroe is twenty two, beautiful, curvaceous and confident. She manages a book store in her hometown; content with her life and her routine of drinking mochas in the mornings and wine at night while hanging out with her best friend/roommate. She doesn't consider herself a "fun" girl but only average and ordinary. One day while in her bookstore, like a hurricane Dalton Deangelo a very famous movie star enters her world , and after accidentally having Peaches in his arms he just can't let her go. But this doesn't happen to normal people, does it? Specially not to the -curvy -not -fun- girls like Peaches?, right? Well it does in this lovely and romantic story, packet with panty melting sex scenes and witty banter, you will not stop laughing as you fall in love with Mimi Strong's writing. Dazzling book!!!!My Stardust Playlist:* Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow*Fidelity by Regina Spektor*Sex and Candy by Marcy Playground *At Last by Etta JamesThe fun continues as I go read Starlight (Peaches Monroe #2)

  • Aestas Book Blog
    2018-11-28 05:38

    Another book for my TBR! This one seems light-hearted and fun with a famous hero and a 'regular' girl.There I was, minding my own business at Peachtree Books when this lunatic comes racing in the door and knocks me into his arms. I would have ripped him a new one, but he was kinda familiar, and hot. Like I-want-to-have-your-sexy-babies-now hot.Turns out he looks familiar because I stare at his gorgeous face on TV every week. Yup, Dalton Deangelo. In the oh-so-firm flesh.I let him hide out from the press for a while, then I thought he'd be on his way, and I could breathe normally again. But no. He found me interesting. He wanted to tag along to my cousin's wedding with me. I couldn't say no to that face ... or THOSE EYES. Before the night was through, he was saying sweet things, then dirty things. Very dirty things.I try to keep my eyes wide open. I've made terrible, stupid mistakes in the past. But Dalton Deangelo's touch turns me to Jell-O.I'm just a regular girl, and he's rich and famous with no body fat. The guy has a butler! So, why is he chasing me? And why can't I say no? And what is this sordid secret of his the reporters are trying to uncover?

  • Jen O'grady
    2018-11-27 07:30

    Best things about this book for me was the fact that our leading lady was plus sized and for me that makes a nice change in the books I read.But a close second was the humour running through the book.Negatives were that this is a continuing story and therefore I have to wait for the next book to continue their story, and I like the build up to a relationship and this just seemed to happy a bit to quickly for me, but I'll carry in reading the next book to see how the story develops.

  • Jennyfer Browne
    2018-11-14 01:32

    read this based on the Notting Hill premise and the hope that the quirky Plus sized girl would be the super heroine that got the guy. And given the overall plot line- it was an okay read. Plus size girl who thinks she not much fun is thrown into the crazy world of stardom by coincidence. Throwing rationality out the window- hunky star falls for plain plus size girl that has whiplash moments of self doubt turned amazing self confidence. But the guy really digs her (ok I knew at about page 20 how this was going to end- call it my BBW intuition). But I continued on-hoping that the frat style phrasing might lessen up (and yes- the term funbags and peaches do get old and detract from the story)- I was really hoping for more depth from the characters than just fat girl meets hot guy. This plot line really had opportunity to flourish and leave me wanting more. I really wanted to root for the big girl without having to cringe at a skinny person's rendition of what fat girls think and worry about. I didn't want to have to cringe when quippy comments are made about her big boobs(peaches) and tight jeans- or her drenched panties that seemed to have better flow rates than malibu mudslides during El Ninos... I wanted her to discover herself as beautiful without all the stereotypes. I wanted sexy scenes that were realistic and maybe even a little awkward until hot guy can reassure her of her beauty. I wanted the nerdy High school sweetheart to be the one that helped her see herself as the beautiful girl she really was. And most of all I wanted her to discover that she really was fun by her own right. Screw everyone else. I wanted to root for the Hollywood man and tell the paparazzi to f off. SPOILERSInstead I forced myself to get through the nicknames and bad puns to find myself at the ending that i knew would happen. Big girl is left feeling like she was used by Mr. Popular and she is all alone. She gets an amazing modeling gig because she is seen with Hollywood heartthrob. Not on her own merit. She's been duped. The proverbial egg thrown in her face.Do i want to know how it all turns out?only if the second book is on sale and I can skim over the funbags and mentions of zesty taco sauce.I'm scarred for life for so many food mentions that are metaphors for body parts.... if you like nickname humor (seems to be the norm today with inner goddesses and names for private parts that seem to talk like actual characters) then you might find this entertaining.

  • Donna ~ The Romance Cover
    2018-11-16 01:26

    Our Review: Reviewed by Dawn ~ 5 Stars & Donna ~ 4 Stars We have had the pleasure of reviewing one of Mimi's other books and enjoyed it so we were looking forward to this. The fact it's compared to a certain British Chick-Flick gives the impression of a fluffy read. It's anything but, it's outright hilarious here are the texts we shared whilst reading it: "Seeing him on my TV screen made my woowoo smile. Smelling him in person made my woowoo jump up and down doing a rain dance." Dawn; God We Are Made of Stardust is sooooo funny! Donna; Yeah I enjoyed it. Sad at the end though. Dawn; Oh no!!!!! Is it not a HEA??? Donna; Semi cliffy. Dawn; Oh No!!!! ;-( Dawn; Donna Peaches is annoying me a little!!! Why does she keep running from him??? And why did she not enjoy the s e x??? He's a god!!!!! Donna; He is good but is he all that he seems :-( I need book 2 as I am sure he will redeem himself. Dawn; Ah is he not what he's making out?? I'm only 47%. Donna; He is lovely but at the end something happens, it is always at the blinking end. Lol Dawn; Well if she stopped running away from him we wouldn't need to wait till the end!!! Lol Dawn; Omg this book is soooooooo funny!!!!! I can't stop laughing. Donna; It is funny Peaches is a scream. Dawn; I've got the giggles now and have tears running down my face! Peaches is brilliant!!!! Dawn; Donna is Dalton using Peaches ??? I'll not be happy with him!!! Donna; Cant give anything away. How far are you? Dawn; 66%. I'm loving him but I'm worried he's gonna hurt her. I love Peaches!! Donna; There is something and I am worried read quicker then we can talk. Dawn; Ok I'm finished and......Gaaaaaaaaah!!!! It can't end there!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Donna; Told ya! Dawn; I don't think it's what she thinks. I think he loves her. And he did that after he met her. What kind of movie do u think he's making? I want to know what her secret is that she wouldn't tell him!! Donna; I know I want to think that too but he recited so many lines why??? Dawn; I think he said the lines then wrote that. I hope so anyway Peaches is to nice to get her heart broken. And he seemed to really care! But then there's Aiden he's into her too and I think she still likes him! And would he be better for her?? Donna; I have so many questions too but I guess we need to wait for the next book. Dawn; I want it NOW!!!!!!! "Join me in the darkness, walk through my dreams, and hold my hand in the morning light." Here's our what we said afterwards; Dawn; I loved that Peaches wasn't your average stunning paper thin book girl she was a bubbly "curvy" girl with a lot of character with a lot of wit. Donna; She was definitely not your stereotypical waif that we are constantly reading about!! She was curvy, she was bubbly, she was quick witted, she was ballsy, she took no s**t, she told it how it was no sugarcoat. You knew where you stood with her but she had an amazing dry sense of humour.“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” she snarled.“Let go of me before I punch you some new freckles!”Dawn; Yeah she was funny as hell. But you know she did annoy me that she ran from him a few times though. And I want to know what her secret is too. How do u feel about Dalton? Donna; I think the reason she ran was because she had no self confidence, she could not believe that he would be remotely interested in her and was just waiting for him to tell her it was all a joke. She wanted to get out before he asked her to leave. Only after a few dates did she let herself believe he did actually feel something for her. Dawn; I think he did actually feel something for her but at the same time he seemed too good to be true. he seemed to have fun with her and be himself, though except that once when he was Drake (fans face!!). So are you team Dalton or Adrian?? Donna; Dalton Dalton Dalton, I loved him right up until the end and then I was like WTF! Personally I don't think it is as it seems but it doesn't look good. I actually thought he really really cared about Peaches and the way they were around each other was comical to read, they brought out the best in each other and complimented each other hence why I don't want to see anything happen to them. Dawn; Totally agree. I don't think it is as it seems either but I still don't know if she will believe him if its not. When they were together they were so at ease it seemed like they'd always been together. Their banter was brilliant even in their texts to each other. He growled in my ear, "Tell me if I'm moving too fast." "I've been here less than a minute and you've checked out my tits and now you're frisking my ass for concealed cameras or something. I don't know, is that too fast?" There is a tiny part of me that's holding out hope for Adrian to save the day but I want her and Dalton to work too they are so good together. I want book 2 NOW!! 2 months is to long. Donna; I can't wait to see where this is going, there is so much to find out still, secrets to come out the ending was cruel and a b***h...not the worst cliff hanger but one of those where you are like no no no no you cannot end it's just getting to the best bit lol. Dawn; Yeah I hated Mimi for doing that to us (but I don't anymore)!! There are loads of questions to be answered from Mr Hot-shot-actor!! "Lets just be two souls tonight. Two souls who are made of stardust, and made their way back to each other, the way they were destined to." Our ratings and overall thoughts; Dawn; So a definite 5 from me it had me in fits, it was hot and steamy, the side characters were fantastic too (her mum had tears rolling down my face) and I would recommend it to everyone I know!! How about you? Donna; I wouldn't go to a 5 but a strong 4 from me I loved it and I cannot wait for the next one and yes I would recommend it, a light hearted, yet steamy romance a perfect blend! Some more of our fave quotes; "I'm the girl you ask to come over and give your cat his daily pills while your on vacation. And, by the way, I don't like the way your cat looks at me. Like even he knows I'm the dull one." I stopped laughing, shocked by how hard and big his arm felt under my fingertips. My goodness. More food comparisons came to mind. Was I hungry or horny? I couldn't tell. "And I'm doubly sorry to be poking my boner into your belly button while your telling me this very personal story."

  • Siobhan
    2018-11-21 23:55

    I just read a teaser and I'm sorry I can not read a story that uses words like 'funbags' and 'boob crack'. The plot sounds great, but I have read the same idea in a fanfic and trust me that story did not use such juvenile wording. Nor did it use confusing descriptions. So my advice is to read the fanfic version of this plot idea for free and steer clear of this one! Sorry, Mimi, no disrespect meant to you. I just can't do it!

  • Kate Copeseeley
    2018-11-17 02:53

    Okay, let's be clear. THIS BOOK IS NOT A ROMANCE!!! NOPE. NOT. There is no HEA, no declarations of love or like, no sweet and sexy lovemaking. None. Let me just say it again, THIS BOOK IS NOT A ROMANCE.And now, if you choose to continue, realize that I'll be reviewing this book on the basis of what it actually IS, which is a mix between porn and chick lit. Oh, and it will talk about dirty, dirty things.To be fair, I did ASSUME it was a romance, based on the cover and the description of the book. I mean, there were no rippling abs and naked ladies on this one, or I probably would have avoided it. Actually, if someone had warned me what it was, I TOTALLY would have avoided it, but if marketing it as a romance gets you readers, then why not?Strong is a good writer. This book has a clear plot and I can't argue with that. It's genuinely amusing, has interesting and dynamic characters (even the side characters are interesting). In short, I wouldn't hate reading about a whole slew of characters in this silly little town of Beaverdale.It was also hilariously funny. I didn't enjoy the many MANY euphemisms for naughty bits in this book (meatflute, meatflaps, spicy taco, hot dog stand), but I can understand that the author was trying to accomplish a tongue-in-cheek feeling with them, so I went with it.The sex was far too graphic for my taste, but given that this book is obviously EROTICA, I will hold back my feelings, with one EXCEPTION.There is anal sex in this book. First, I feel like there should always be a warning when there is anal sex in a book. Because EW. I know that is a personal preference thing and I know there are a lot of different ways that people can enjoy each others' bodies and you know, good for them. That is one that I don't like reading about.What ESPECIALLY bothered me about the anal sex is that it was NOT consensual. What do I mean about consensual? Well, sticking your dick inside a woman's pooper and letting her decided AFTER THE FACT that she's sort of okay with it is NOT COOL MAN! What if she'd been like me? What if she hated that sort of thing? YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TALK TO A WOMAN FIRST BEFORE YOU TRY SOMETHING THAT EXTREME IN BED. Seriously, that is when I went from sort of being annoyed with the main guy, to seriously pissed with him. Because obviously he was a thoughtless asshole (pun intended).No offense to the author or anything, but what was she thinking?!?!? If a guy did that to me when we were having sex, he would be missing some testicles shortly thereafter. Even Peaches had to lock herself in the bathroom for like 10 minutes so she could recover and don't tell me it was because she found out she was a squirter!I just can't get over how horrid that was. And that is why this book is NOT a romance. NOT, NOT, NOT.One final note and then we're done. That ending was the worst. Essentially, the author just took you to the edge of a high cliff, said to you, "There it is." and pushed you off. Luckily, I've read enough books that I saw it coming a mile away, but I'm sure there were a LOT of readers who felt upset after that.Anywho, won't be reading anymore by this author, unless someone can tell me that she wrote an ACTUAL romance.

  • Michelle
    2018-11-19 23:43

    Received and ARC from the author for an honest review.Petra "Peaches" Monroe is a small town girl that is a little on the plus side. She has a mouth that does not come with a filter and a off the wall sense of humor. Dalton Deangelo is the star of a TV show where he plays a hot vampire and is town for a movie shoot - where he runs into Peaches and she literally falls into his arms. She's not the fun girl who gets the guy - but for some reason she has drawn the attraction of the hot actor. And even though more than a few men seem to see something in Peaches, she is oblivious to their flirty nature conversations. Peaches would make the perfect girlfriend to invite over when in a shit mood and have a few glasses (um...bottles) of wine with. A great developed character that certainly worked her way into your heart. And although Dalton had his moments; something about him made me keep him at arms length. I am not sure if it was just instinct or something else - but I stayed a little weary of him throughout this story. I adored the humor in this story, even at times when it got silly. I felt like I was having conversations with old friends over a few drinks and instantly felt comfortable and at ease with Peaches. Although she is not overly insecure about her body image, her more than average body does leave her with a slight insecurity - but it felt like there was something far deeper with her own self image beyond her body that really drove her issues into overdrive. Her romance with Dalton was a bit chaotic, never really knowing if it was going anywhere or if this was just a fling while he was settled into small town living while production was underway. And although there were moments where you can't quite figure out if you are seeing a real person or a character in a role; Dalton seemed to have many layers beyond what he let people see. Overall I found myself laughing to myself while reading this quirky romance read that was a little light in areas and and a little heavy in the right places. The ending of this was a little surprising, but at the same time it sort of felt like it was the elephant in the room the whole time. I loved that even with the humor in the story, you still felt like Peaches was a real person. Her self views are not something that are limited to women with a little extra to love and you can easily relate her lack of confidence to whatever self-flaw that you let your own mind whittle away at. I have greatly enjoyed the many sides of Mimi Strong's writing over the last few months. I have been able to dip into her world a little bit in the mix of simple romances and a little rougher erotica reads and have not been left disappointed at all. We are left with a little bit of a cliffhanger type 'what is going to happen next' ending, but there are so many ways this can play out in the next book. And Fall of 2013 isn't too far away right?

  • Lexie
    2018-11-21 02:49

    I was excited for this book. Peaches sounded like someone I would get along with. So very wrong.+++The book began kind of well. I say kind of because Peaches, as interesting as she sounded in the summary blurb, began to get annoying very very quickly. And while I thought Dalton came on waaaay too strong at first, I liked the banter between him and Peaches. I did not enjoy her constant stream of inner monologue'ing about how hot he was and how tight he was and the semi-erotic thoughts she had and how bad she was for thinking those thoughts. And I swear on my books if I read "I'm not the 'fun' girl" one more time I will print the cover just to use it as a dartboard. Its one thing to say it every so often, its another to say it practically EVERY TIME your boyfriend or your friends comment on you. She'd say it out loud (and be refuted constantly), she'd think it (while doing something your typical 'boring' girl would never do) and she'd loudly proclaim it almost proudly. Dalton quickly wore thin on me too however. Something just seemed...odd at times. You come to find out why his reactions were a bit weird at the VERY end of the book. And you know what? Frak you very much. To them both. Dalton for being shadier then you can imagine and Peaches for being the idiot who didn't see the signs.If your celebrity [fake]vampire TV star boyfriend purposely seems to evade your questions about what his current project--that will catapult him from Edward Cullen status to Brad Pitt status presumably--wouldn't that make you suspicious? Like suspicious enough that you'd, I don't know, ask questions and not just be distracted when he decides to pull out his porn star background sexpertise?And honestly their relationship didn't work for me. It moved so fast. At first I thought 'Oh well okay its a one night stand to friends with benefits to something more dealio'. Not my favorite trope, but hey do what you gotta when its multiple books long. But Dalton was so intense the entire time. And invasive. I can't think of any other word for him. I'll give Peaches credit, she was consistent about not changing how she looked. A bit cosmetically (dressed a bit more showy, did her hair a bit more), but she never one thought she had to slim down to be with Dalton. Actually most of her self-doubt was geared more towards "God I'm so boring" then "God does he think I'm fat?", which was a welcome change of pace (though as I said it was way overdone).In the interests of honesty I went and read the synopsis (and many many reviews) of the next two books and it doesn't sound like it gets better. At all. In any way. What little interest I had in Adrian is quickly shoved aside for the fact Peaches apparently doesn't LEARN A THING.

  • Morgan
    2018-12-04 03:33

    I originally picked up this book because I read in the blurb that it had a larger-sized female lead. Being a bigger girl, I’m all about supporting the PSP’s (plus sized princesses) of the world (even in book-format).The blurb above is adequate... but I think a few pictures of who I envision playing Dalton should be added (for the "yum" factor):Let me start by saying that this book is not for everyone. Please have a sense of humor when you begin to read this series. This is not my typical read… and I wouldn’t call anything about this book erotic. Maybe comic erotica? Peaches, the main female lead, refers to the genitalia with bizarre nicknames such as: Candy stick, Miss Kitty, Boob-crack, Peaches… Since the story is told in her POV these nicknames are prevalent in the sex scenes as well. I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t sure I could continue reading with such silly nicknames being thrown. It firsts smacks as immaturity but as I continued to read, it became what made this novel so endearing. The nicknames contribute to the awkwardness that the main character has (view spoiler)[ towards her weight, sexual experience, the whole situation of dating a Hollywood star.(hide spoiler)]The relationship Peaches has with her roommate/bestfriend/cousin cracks me up. I can see a few of my girl-friends saying the same things to be. Also, who doesn’t find a main character that says “fuckity-fuck” (among other colorful words), lives in a small town and runs a book store endearing?“I’m the sassy best friend with the good advice and a soft shoulder to cry on. Now get off my porch before I break my foot off in your ass.” This book was such a pleasant surprised, I highly recommend it to those who have a sense of humor and like it spicy. There are undercurrent themes of self-worth, trust, loyalty and heartbreak that give this book a sharper edge that just being “funny.” Be forewarned, it’s a hell of a cliffhanger- I suggest buying all 3 installments at one time.["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

  • Nicole Tetrev
    2018-11-30 04:54

    I don't even know where to begin, the ending of this book has left me reeling and seething mad not at the author but at Dalton. Wow this book made me laugh, wiggle uncomfortably and flat out fall in love with Peaches. now mind you I'm straight up straight so I love her as a person lol. But she was just so real like everything she felt was something I would feel or how I would react which I find doesn't always happen in books. Dalton I could never figure out where his head was, Strong keeps us guessing which is why I guess I found the ending (cliffhanger) so devastating because. I don't know what to believe. Adrien I think Peaches has her thinking all wrong when it comes to him, and if she just really went and kept her "eyes wide open" she'd see something she didn't see before. Strong has such a great ability to give us this witty back and forth between the characters that you might even forget your reading because it plays out so smoothly in your head. I absolutely positively can not wait for book 2! So I suggest you sit back and relax and join me in my love for We are Stardust.

  • Karla
    2018-11-17 05:43

    This book just started off bad. Call me crazy, but I don't want to read a book that focuses on the main characters faults and how she's wearing two pairs of spanx and can't breathe.. Or how she fell on her ass, but it wasn't a big deal, since she's got a lot of extra cushion. But I figured, even if it WAS only $.99, I PAID for it, so I'm going to struggle through it.Until I read some of these gems.."Smelling him in person made my woowoo jump up and down doing a rain dance.""...sending delicious head into my body, including the zesty taco zone."Yeah, no. Just no. If zero stars were an option, I would pick that.

  • Loryn Smith
    2018-12-06 02:47

    I soooo did not want that book to end!! Had me laughing from the 1st page! Be warned it is a cliff hanger but wow! Can I NOT wait for the next book!!

  • Nadine Hook Me Up Book Blog
    2018-12-01 03:45

    **copy given by author in exchange for a honest review**For more reviews visit our blog: us on Facebook: 3 StarsPetra, a 23 year old girl-next-door kinda girl and manager of Peachtree Books loves being surrounded by books- her passion- and prefers to mind her own business. Petra aka Peaches isn't a super model and more on the curvy side, but she learned to live and somewhat love/accept her body. While working the very famous TV star Dalton Deangelo runs into her book store hiding from the reporters. By doing so he actually knocks Peaches off a stool and she falls right into his arms and looks into his oh-so-gorgeous eyes. After this encounter Dalton doesn't seem to be able to stay away from Peaches; he's curious about her and she has her concerns about him. Can a hot actor really like someone like her? Can this really work:she with no model body and a guy with zero fat on his body? She doesn't know but can't seem to stay away from him either.Their 'relationship' is like a bumpy road and soon Peaches gets her very own taste what it means to date a famous TV star. She tries to keep her eyes wide open to avoid getting hurt, but Dalton turns her whole body into pudding and she likes him every day a bit more. She can't get rid of her doubts though, why he wants someone like her and furthermore, which secrete are those reporter trying to expose.I liked but didn't love the story that's why I only gave it 3 stars. I couldn't really connect with the characters, not because of who they are but more about their actions and how they talked to another -it threw me off. The 'dirty talks' kinda turned me off instead on and it just didn't do it for me.I liked Peaches, because she was a normal, not perfect kinda girl and it was refreshing to read but her nicknames to body parts *head shakes*!!Also, I could fully understand her concerns toward Dalton but it wasn't a surprise either.Dalton, well... I can't deny that all the time, and I really mean all the time I thought about Damon from The Vampire Diaries when reading about him. He reminded me a bit too much of Damon though, and I didn't like this fact- I enjoy new, refreshing characters more.While reading I felt a bit confused because of their and down 'relationship'. I mean by that that their actions and words were the polar opposites and I couldn't fully connect or understand them. However, I do want to know how this series continues because this ending was like wth -a big cliffhanger. I kept thinking about Peaches thoughts while Dalton wasn't home and what her next move/plan was; so therefore I really want to read the second book. Overall it's a fast-paced humorful(for some) read and I liked the story, even though it was predictable, in general.

  • Brit
    2018-11-14 03:42

    Cute actor boy comes to town and is one smooth talkerSassy girl with low self esteem (at times) meets cute actor boySassy girl with low self esteem and cute actor boy have some fun, smexy time Sassy girl with low self esteem starts to fall for cute actor boyCrazy paparazzi catch and exploit Sassy girl with low self esteem and cute actor boySassy girl with low self esteem and cute actor boy say f-offSassy girl with low self esteem decides she’s going to have her happily ever after with cute actor boy and moves to LASassy girl with low self esteem snoops around cute actor boy’s house and doesn’t like what she findsEnter CLIFFHANGERF!

  • Kelly
    2018-11-22 05:47

    I lost brain cells reading this. I didn't realize this was a series or I would have never in a million years finished this book. I'm kicking myself because rarely do I ever buy a book with out reading the "Look Inside" to see if I am pulled in. The $.99 price tag and fairly high reviews must have made be jump the gun. What a mistake. Who talks like this, especially at 22? I didn't laugh once. I hate quiting books half way through so I stuck it out. I lost valuable hours in my life:-) Dalton was as creepy as all get out.Here are some examples of the most childish writing I have ever read.-the zesty taco zone-swollen ladylumps-curly bushes around his hot dog stand-pat of butter on summer pavement-freshly waxed cushions of flesh-meatflaps-cyclopean creature-pepperoni stick and his salami within 1 sentence of each other-coin slot and into my piggy bank

  • Angie
    2018-11-25 01:27

    FULL RECOMMENDATION AND FAVORITE QUOTES ON SMUTBOOKCLUB.COMThough Stardust and Starlight are two separate books in a series, I'm going to combine their recommendations. No, it's not because I'm exceptionally lazy; there's just no way you can read all of Stardust, get to the end, and put off reading Starlight.

  • Tia Louise
    2018-11-17 07:32

    Oh, noes!!! I didn't like the way this ended at all. :o(But up to that cut-off, it was hilarious, HOT, fun... The run through the woods had me shaking laughing in bed (trying to be quiet). And I loved the bonding btw Dalton & Peaches...#hmmm... <3

  • Twist
    2018-11-22 03:39

    I liked this one, right up to the ending. I didn't realize it was a cliffhanger. I hate those.

  • De'Siree Fairley
    2018-11-28 06:55

    2.5/5I didn't love this one. It was fast paced and easy to read but the characters didn't actually develop a relationship with each other. They claimed to be dating but it was more of a friends with benefits type relationship. The entire relationship was built on sex. They hardly had decent conversation with each other if you really think about it. This book was funny, and the writing was very witty but I just wasn't personally feeling that plot so I won't be reading the others

  • Nemo (The Moonlight Library)
    2018-11-28 06:27

    DNFI managed two pages before I gave up. I just know this book and I aren't going to gel. Great concept, terrible execution."I wasn't always such a magnet for hot guys, but the secret of my awesomeness got out the day I met Dalton Deangelo.I have quite a few issues with this opening sentence. To begin with, it's a crap opening sentence. Our heroine is clearly egotistical, (FYI I have no problems with girls too big for their boots a la Letty 'wannabe badass' fucking Dilliger in Strings)) the 'awesomeoness' is in italics for no fucking reason, and I'm still trying to work out if 'Deangelo' is pronounced 'deen-jello' or 'dee-angelo'. The sentence is clearly trying to set up the fact that this 'awesome' heroine will deliver more of her awesomeness that is so fucking important it needs to be in italics, but it's not fooling me.The second sentence (which also serves as the second paragraph) fares no better:I was standing on an old wooden stool, inside a bookstore.There's a redundant comma that pisses me off. The fact that she says 'inside A bookstore', not 'inside THE bookstore where I work' leads me to believe she's just wandered in off the street into A random bookstore.The third sentence is where this story actually begins. It's an okay sentence, nothing awesome.The bells on the door jingled, and someone came rushing into the store, breathing heavily.It's the second sentence of fourth paragraph that first set off my alarm bells.His hard, manly body impacted my soft thighs, and I fell, screaming, right into his arms.I'm not even sure where to begin. Whether it's the 'manly' of some guy I don't think the narrator could even see until the moment he caught her, the 'soft' of her thighs (which includes the hardest bone in the body, so now I'm thinking about some poor lady and her jello thighs and of course she fell off the fucking stool, her thighs aren't strong enough to hold her up!), or the fact that she screamed as she fell all of probably one foot, maybe two - directly into the arms of the guy who wasn't watching where he was going. Holy supernatural reflexes! It's almost as bad as the guy who opened a passenger side car door to kiss someone and she proceeded to nearly run him over after his amazing contorting act.Almost.Come to think of it, I DNF'd that book as well.So despite the clusterfuck of the opening sentences, that was actually my first warning bell.Then it all went to hell as I read the following exchange, only two sentences later:And then, he opened his mouth and said the most captivating thing: "What kind of an idiot stands on a stool when there's a perfectly good ladder available?" {Good idea, just insult the woman. Never mind the fact that it's a perfectly good question and you literally just bumped into her so how the hell do you know there are any ladders available? And if you can see the ladders, why the fuck isn't she using one? And she think sthis is captivating BE STILL MY HEART, ASSHOLE HERO AS ORDERED.]"Ladders are overrated." [So is this book]He grinned, holding me in those amazingly strong arms. "You're a fun girl, aren't you?" [You're a condescending asshole, aren't you?]That, ladies and gentlemen, is when I quit. I will not read a rage-inducing book. Good luck to everyone else who wants to read it, and I bid you adieu.

  • Yvette ~ Nose Stuck in a Book
    2018-12-08 02:49

    Prior to reading We Are Made of Stardust, I had read three books by Mimi Strong, including Pretty Girls, The Kissing Coach, and For You. Though they all feature heroines with a bit of spunk and sass, they are, for the most part, dramatic stories with subject matters varying in degrees of seriousness. With a self-described “pleasantly plump” heroine nicknamed Peaches whose self-image has seesawed since high school, We Are Made of Stardust embraces a new type of heroine, injecting a bit of heartache and a whole lot of humor into this first installment of what will be a series about Petra “Peaches” Monroe.Of the four books I have now read by Mimi Strong, We Are Made of Stardust is my favorite, not only because it’s one of the funniest books I’ve ever read, but because it’s incredibly fresh and unpredictable. While I had a vague inclination of how the book would end (it’s part of a series, after all), I never knew what would come out of the shockingly dirty mouths of Peaches and her love interest, Dalton Deangelo, who is as eccentric a character as the bad boy vampire he plays on television. When Dalton spouts lines like, “I’m, going to give you a dramatic on-screen kiss,” I’m torn between wanting to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation and wanting to swoon as I picture these words being delivered with a straight face by an Ian Somerhalder lookalike.Usually when a book is funny, I’ll chuckle a bit and laugh aloud if something is particularly funny; with this book, I laughed so loud, I’m fairly certain I heard an echo. The source of most of my amusement, believe it or not, was the love scenes. Peaches’ claim to have a big mouth at the start of the book is entirely accurate, and I couldn’t wait to discover what she would say next. I lost track of the number of different euphemisms Peaches uses in reference to her lady bits and Dalton’s man parts. The increasingly inventive substitutive words somehow manage to make the love scenes both sexy and hilarious. Part fantasy and part harsh reality, We Are Made of Stardust is a story that I connected with from the first page, thanks in large part to the book’s leading lady, who is my new favorite fictional heroine. Peaches is unlike any other book heroine I’ve come across, which why I find her so likeable. I enjoyed her colorful vocabulary and sympathized with her natural distrust toward her peers. I’m excited to follow the continuation of her journey in the follow-up to We Are Made of Stardust, which will pick up after a huge cliffhanger that came as a complete surprise, even after subtle hints were dropped throughout the book. I wasn’t entirely prepared for a revelation of this magnitude and I want to both curse and applaud Mimi Strong for leaving me on the edge of my seat.

  • Sónia Costa
    2018-11-16 06:25

    Ok now that was different!First off, MAJOR CLIFFHANGER ALERT! I mean HUGE HUGE HUGE CLIIFHANGER! Just like I like them :D So I’m pretty happy on that matter :DNow for the actual book!There were some things missing! I can’t explain what, but I didn’t click with everything!Loved Peaches :D Sassy, upfront and fun just like I like them. But I needed some more self confidence on her part. Come on girl you have all these guys checking you out and drooling all over you, yes you might be insecure about some aspects of your body but if they drool I don’t see what’s wrong ;) Besides I’m a curvy woman, ok not as much curve in the actual sense, but I’m like you a big butt girl :D And I’m pretty happy with my big butt, if the guys were drooling and dropping like they seem to drop at your feet I would definitely take advantage :DNow for Captain Douchebag! Ok I have mixed feelings about Dalton! First I kept imagining Ian or Paul when she started talking about is role has a vampire. And when I had the “visual” about that hunk of a man, oh Jesus, FANNING ALERT! Come on the guy bit her on the neck at the wedding, if yeah I wouldn’t drop my panties on the stardust talk, I would definitely drop them when he went for my neck! Huge turn on!And Adrien!Men that was the first time I didn’t know who to root for! Oh come I’m not kidding anyone, yes what Dalton did was wrong and stupid, and true?! Don’t know! Something is fishy about the all ordeal. Since the start I found him weird, and I knew he was hiding something, but I don’t know, feeling that kind of connection, so fast, so strong must mean something! Right?!I have a gut feeling he truly loves her! And come on, she kind of ran a bit, didn’t she?! I just realized I’m questioning a lot of things LLOOLL this is a review, I should be telling you what I loved about the book!Ok let me put it together!This was so fun, so witty, so weird ( yeah I’m going to keep saying that, some of Peache’s expressions to a few things left me rolling on the floor)!I definitely want to know what’s coming next! I want her to listen to Dalton :D Oh and her secret! I need to know! Pretty pretty please!ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest review!

  • Kelly
    2018-12-01 02:29

    Good gravy. If Mimi Strong ever says something like "this book ends on a cliffhanger" AT ANY POINT ... OMG! BELIEVE HER! Because, yeah, she said that and, YEAH!, this book ends on a cliffhanger. (But I'm stubbornly holding out hope that there's some sort of misunderstanding there and Peaches will bounce back and everything will work out the way it's supposed to. Also, please note the extreme willpower I managed to exert to not say that everything would end up peachy! Then take a few bonus points away because I did say it while pointing out that I didn't say it. DANGIT!)Anyway. Peaches is a treat. She refers to her ladyparts by highly amusing names. She's outspoken and has no filter on her mouth. And she likes herself. Sure, she has a few body hangups, but WHO DOESN'T? She also appears to have a bit of mystery in her past. That's something I'm excited to learn more about because I have a feeling that things haven't always been *grits teeth and resists the urge to use "peachy"* as easy as they are now for the lovely Peaches. *ungrits teeth*The we have Dalton. I like the guy. I really do. But... I'm starting to wonder how much of him is real and how much is an act. Thanks a lot for making me feel all conflicted, Mimi Strong. His secrets come in several flavors but I'm not sure how much we really know him.With a supporting cast of quirky characters (the cousin/roommate of Peaches who didn't do the greatest job of hiding her jealousy over Peaches's change in circumstances but who ultimately came through in the end and the DELECTABLE Adrian Storm spring to mind) and a whole slew of new experiences for Peaches to show that the fun girl she's never claimed to be has just been waiting for a chance to come out and make herself known, this book is downright FUN!Book 2 needs to come along soon, though, because that cliffhanger is just as intoxicating as the wild, unrestrained sex. SERIOUSLY.-Kelly @ Reading the Paranormal

  • Keeley
    2018-11-12 23:25

    1.5 stars!!***Contains spoilers, please don't read if you haven't read the book yet!!!!**Okay, I hate giving authors this kind of criticism but sometimes it is needed. I know the hard work they put into their books but I really didn't like this book. Firstly, I hate Peaches, she is sexually immature for her age. the words she uses! And she is just so bloody annoying. And then you have Dalton who is not the kind of lead man you wouldn't want in your life. I really didn't like him, he was controlling and selfish, and Peaches just let him walk all over her. I don't know if Peaches will pick Adrian in the later books, and I don't have the strength to read any of them. The main thing that put me off this book is the use of unnecessary words. If you are going to write a book that has sex in it, then please use the words PENIS and Vagina!! I cannot read another sentence with the words 'meat flute' or 'meat flaps' in them!! My god it was cringe worthy... I've never read anything like it. I nearly quit reading this book at 14% but I never quit reading books, so I made it my mission to keep going because I wanted to read what else could be used instead of penis and vagina. Here is a list of the ones I highlighted. 'hot dog stand' 'freshly waxed cushions of flesh''you could have had your meatflaps moistened''I can't be riding his choo choo train to O-town' 'This man had clearly been to Pussy school''I released his meat flute, melody played''I blew your big plans. And also your big salami''My runway was wet and ready for him to land his big plane''He ran his fingers up and down, moving farther with each stroke, all the way down my coin slot and into my piggy bank' (THERE IS NOTHING SEXY ABOUT REFERRING TO YOUR VAGINA AS A COIN SLOT!!)'I stroked the length of his long, thick candy stick'I'm disappointed as I wanted this book to be a good one, and all the reviewers that liked it made it seem like a better book. I guess I wanted more from this book other than the constant reference to food and meat...