Read Goodbye Teddy by J.D. Stockholm Online


This journey has been an odd one; I didn’t even know I was on it. Dear Teddy was born out of a conversation with my therapist at the time, a way for the child to speak after so many years of silence and being locked away in the dark. Once I gave him a pen and told him it was okay for him to talk, he didn’t stop. He had so much to say, and he did. Goodbye Teddy is the fourtThis journey has been an odd one; I didn’t even know I was on it. Dear Teddy was born out of a conversation with my therapist at the time, a way for the child to speak after so many years of silence and being locked away in the dark. Once I gave him a pen and told him it was okay for him to talk, he didn’t stop. He had so much to say, and he did. Goodbye Teddy is the fourth and final book in the Dear Teddy series, as with the previous books; it is told through the eyes of the child. He asks you to walk with him as he shows you his world. This is a tale of child abuse in all forms. Every page takes you through the horrific events and the ways he came to survive them. It shows you the betrayal by those very people that should have protected him; his mother and father. Listen as he shares his secrets, his fears, his hopes and dreams. Laugh with him, cry with him, but don’t stop or close your eyes. Excerpt I sit on the cushions. I look at my dad’s bottle of petrol. Maybe I can drink it. It is poison. My dad says it is. He shouts when my brother plays in there. Because there is lots of things and it is poison and can make him die and go to heaven. I look at it lots of times. Maybe I can drink it all down. I think about it inside. Maybe it tastes nice. I like how it smells. Maybe it doesn’t taste very bad. I reach over and get it. I open it. It smells nice. Maybe I can count. Not to four, though. Four is very bad. I count to three. One, two, three. Then I can drink it and I can go away and then everyone is happy about it. One. Two. Three. I lift the bottle up and then I put it at my mouth. I don’t tip it yet. I don’t keep the crying part away. I don’t ever be any good. “Drink it.” I say it very bad to myself. “Drink it. Drink it...

Title : Goodbye Teddy
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 18403205
Format Type : Kindle Edition
Number of Pages : 465 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Goodbye Teddy Reviews

  • Cynthia
    2019-06-11 02:55

    It was just over a year ago that I initially picked up Dear Teddy, JD Stockholm's first book in his Dear Teddy series. I must admit that, at first, it was curiosity that had me looking it up after having seen it promoted on a page dedicated to books and authors. Since then, I have made sure not to miss a single book written by this amazing author. Goodbye Teddy is the fourth and final book in this heartrending series, and once again, JD Stockholm has done a brilliant job.I honestly struggle to find the words to describe the horror of this young boy's childhood, the unimaginable inhumanity of his parents, and the absolute evil lurking inside his father. It's hard to imagine that parents could be this way, show such neglect and depravedness, such barbarity and cruelness. In my eyes, this child is a hero, for everything he had to endure and for surviving.Goodbye Teddy takes us further along the road of this sweet boy's nightmarish life. While the first three books cover the ages of five to seven, Goodbye Teddy spans his life from eight to when he turns sixteen. Despite the passing of almost a decade here, the abuse and torment he has learnt to endure does not end or lessen. If anything, it grows worse. And along with it, your anger and abhorrence of his parents grows as well. They are monsters of the worst kind, because this is their child they are violating, demeaning and brutalising. This is their child they are betraying. Debauched, barbaric, heartless, compassionless - no words ever feel substantial enough to describe the depth of their inhumanity and depravity.The story is much faster-paced in Goodbye Teddy as the author journeys from one year to the next, allowing us to follow the young boy's transformation into adolescence. We are helpless as we witness the changes he undergoes both in personality and in his perception of life and of the world around him. We feebly stand by as we see how low self-esteem, self-loathing and aggression begin to define his reality. These are the traits and characteristics bestowed upon him by his very own parents. Instead of hope and optimism, he looks at the world through bleak, cynical eyes, and the sense of despair and futility is predominant.The sexual, physical and emotional abuse, as well as any other kind of abuse you can think of, continues in this final book. It will have you sobbing, overwhelmed with frustration and fury, and horrified at what his parents are capable of. There are many parts in the book that are difficult to read, and there were times I needed to stop because I was crying so much. Some of the actions literally have you wanting to close the book due to their vileness. At the same time, you are desperate to continue reading because you need to know that the child survives it and is okay. It is an inexplicable feeling of needing to stay with him through his ordeal as a way of offering support, illogical as that may sound, believing you are abandoning the little boy if you stop reading; so you don't.It is horrendous enough that both parents are abusing their own son in every way imaginable, but it is even more appalling and unbelievable the lengths they eventually reach. They allow him to be abused and violated by others, unaffected and unconcerned that this is their own child. They are deplorable human beings, and I hate having to refer to them as his `parents', because this they are not. Parents protect their children, warn them of the dangers in the world, of immoral people who may want to hurt them; they don't hand them over to those very people. Good parents feed their children, make sure they are properly clothed and have a warm, safe bed to sleep in at night. They don't starve their children, then call them thieves for fearfully stealing some bread to sate their intense hunger. They don't lock them out of the house so that they sleep all alone in a cold garage all night. They don't make their bed a dreaded place, where all sorts of horrific things occur. Good parents encourage and praise their children, build up their confidence and tell them how much they are loved. They don't degrade and undermine them, ridiculing them any chance they get. They don't tell them how they were born with evil inside them and that they are bad and wish they had never been born. They don't make their child feel like a stranger in his own house, where he has to ask permission to do something as simple as go to the bathroom.It is also dismaying to see how his parents effectuated their child's demise at school. Highly intelligent, an A-student despite all the horror in his life, this talented, little boy dreams of becoming a doctor, and he has the grades and intellectuality to achieve it. However, there is no support or encouragement from either his mother or father. Conversely, they mock his efforts at school, ridicule any praise given by teachers and diminish any and all of his achievements, adding profound psychological and emotional abuse to the heinous physical and sexual abuse already going on. They don't even bother to attend prize ceremonies, where their son would have been receiving prestigious awards. As it is, not even the child attends the ceremony, and in so doing, they succeed in depriving him of even that sense of gratification and feeling of pride.The sad outcome to this is that the child finally gives up at school. This warrants another question. How is it that none of his teachers ever questioned why a straight-A student was suddenly underachieving, almost failing the last two years at school? Why did no one wonder why this exceptionally bright, quiet boy had suddenly become so aggressive, frequently getting involved in fights at school? While a couple of teachers did show some indication of worry, they too did nothing to save this boy.Hostility and anger towards his parents start to grow in the child, but still the inability to comprehend why his parents can not love him and do not want him remains. It is indubitably a kind of torture that they treat his younger brother with parental affection and attentiveness, lavishing gifts and childish joys on him while our little protagonist is made to sit on the sidelines and observe, but never partake. It serves to breed contempt for his little brother, envy of all the things he is denied and forced to silently witness.Naturally, before long, the young teenager falls into bad habits, like smoking and inhaling intoxicative substances. Even the boys he chooses to keep company with are a rough crowd. We start to understand how serious issues, such as self-harm and suicidal tendencies, can arise in teenagers, and how child abuse can play such a significant role in making them such predominant, deep-rooted problems in today's society.One of the most touching parts in Goodbye Teddy is where the boy befriends another abused teen. The compassion and sympathy he can feel for the other child is incredible when we take into account how hard and callous he could have turned out as a consequence of all he had been through. He even considers the other boy's abuse worse than his, not able to recognize his own as abuse at all. And while the other child's experience is undoubtedly severe, it comes nowhere near our little hero's affliction. I cried when he eventually manages to help this boy and save him and his siblings from their abusive mother. He who needed saving most made it his mission to help another victim, while he himself continued to suffer unspeakable atrocities. To my mind, he has earned the title of a true hero.There are also events that take place with his mother in Goodbye Teddy that will leave you struggling with emotions of deep sadness, a need to reach out and protect the child, a helplessness to do so, and chiefly, horror at the actions of a father towards a traumatised boy. Desperately needing his love and support at that point in his life, he is instead beaten down and abandoned, suffering through some of the most painful and horrendous experiences of his young life. What his father is capable of I can not adequately put into words, but I know that once you have read this book, you will understand why.Heartbreaking. There really is no better adjective to describe this entire series. Your heart literally does break when you read what this little boy was subjected to. We find it hard to fathom how people could do these things to a child, even more so when it is their very own child. At times, it feels like you are watching a horror film, because the events are so abominable and shocking that you are certain this can't possibly be real life. Parents so evil just don't exist. Do they?I think the conclusion of the book gives the reader a much-anticipated sense of closure. While not a classical happily-ever-after ending, it leaves you with a feeling of hope and optimism for his future. A new friend comes into his life that we are thankful for, and even if it is for only a little while, offers this child a few instances of true caring and abetment.Goodbye Teddy is an exceptionally well-written book, and I believe that what captivates you most is the childlike tone used to tell the story. The author's style of writing is incredibly effective. He has aptly used short, staccato sentences to give emphasis to the child's simple, uncomplicated thought processes. He has also used a child's grammar and vocabulary to reinforce this, gradually amending and modifying both as the boy grows, but always in keeping with his age. I consider carrying off this style of writing a very difficult task, but one which the author has accomplished amazingly well. JD Stockholm truly succeeds in making you see through the eyes of the child. It makes it very difficult to put the book down, despite the difficult subject matter.I never expected this series to end up impacting my life so greatly. As a teacher, it has had a profound influence in making me more vigilant, better able to recognise any signs of neglect or abuse, any children who may be suffering cruelty and ill-treatment at the hands of their parents. For this, I shall always be grateful to the author.JD Stockholm has put down on paper a story that was incredibly difficult to tell, and for this I admire and applaud him. He has my utmost respect, both as a person and as a writer. Goodbye Teddy will make you cry and it will anger you, but it is a book and a series that is a must-read. A truly amazing piece of work. Thank you for sharing your story with us, JD.

  • Yamilé
    2019-05-31 02:34

    This is the last installment of J.D. Stockholm’s memories of his childhood and, from my points of view one of the best autobiographical memoirs written by survivors of child abuse to date. For a better understanding of events and issues raised in this book, I advise fellow readers to go to the beginning. This work can be purchased along with the three previous ones in a boxed set (check it out at ). You’ll save money and be able to read the story from the beginning.The young protagonist of these books goes through the hell of parental neglect, physical and sexual abuse from as early as he can remember. His mother and father not only commit these crimes themselves, but also sell the little boy to fellow child molesters. Among the horrors he’s forced to confront every day, the little boy grows up, struggling to find a sense of self, to “be better” for these parents who are so sick they’ll never see him that way.This book is a must read for everyone working or interested in child abuse and psychology issues. Some other reviewers have complained about the books being repetitive and badly written. I think those people are missing the point that the author’s talent lays in his ability to give us the child’s perspective in the matter, which has not been successfully accomplished until now. The books read, by the author’s choice, like a real journal of a 5, 6, 7 year-old journal would read. Grammar and awareness increase as the boy grows up. If some themes are repeated that is because, when something is so traumatic, yet prevalent in a life of a child, and his only way to let it out is by writing a journal, of course those terrible happenings are going to appear many times! It’s what makes this boy’s life so unbearable: bad people, bad things, his own perceived badness are there all the time; either clearly showing or waiting to jump at him around the corner.All of this notwithstanding, while the three previous books each depict the major happenings on this boy’s first years of awareness (5.6.7), Goodbye Teddy moves at a faster pace through the years, showing us how the protagonist copes with living the same harrowing reality during the rest of his childhood and adolescence.I’ve stated in previous reviews one of the interesting things in this book is that we see how strong parental figures and the messages they instill in very young children are. How, even in the mind frame of clearly intellectually gifted child, these messages manage to take hold, to strip him of any trace of self-worth. It’s a sad, maddening irony that one. But an irony that reminds us how children are so defenseless and helpless without loving and nurturing adults who can guide them in life. In previous books, and in this one, we are shown how the little protagonist amazingly keeps being an overly sensitive, caring, perseverant boy, which makes us admire him and cry for him with the same anger and grief as when we were reading the first books. But which also keeps him almost as vulnerable to his parents’ cruelty as he was then. The outside world keeps ignoring the signs of abuse showing all over this kid, but to be fair, this boy’s parents have scared him and brainwashed him so much, he’s increasingly trapped in his own silence, his own inability to care about himself even enough to be realize he’s being wronged. The help he does provide to a fellow abused boy he meets in his teens, mixed with his own lack of awareness that all that bad things he sees happening are also bad when they happen to him is both maddening and heartbreaking.All in all, an interesting book, full of insights. But a work that transmits in a very powerful, painful, way that weary feeling of thwarted innocence, of a robbed childhood, of a beautiful person broken even before he can develop. All those weary feelings that constitute part of the essence of what child abuse is.

  • Vicki Easom Johnson
    2019-05-29 02:50

    This book is heartbreaking. It gives the reader closure at the end. I was unable to put it down until my eyes just simply gave out. This was the first day of reading it. I finished it the second day.It is graphic, however the reader cannot totally grasp how horrific the brutality is without it. It is needed to let the reader understand what the boy went through.It picks up at age eight. The molestation is so brutal and continues to get worse. I wanted to climb into the book and rescue him and take him away from the horrific brutality that he had to endure. I wanted to give him the correct kind of love and give him a better life. He deserved to have a family that loved him without abusing him. Not only does he endure brutal physical pain, but mental pain as well. He is broken down until he feels like there isn’t an end.I cried so much until I became even more angry with the adults that ripped this boys life apart. I wanted to hurt them. Then I couldn’t cry. The tears did come again as he continued to be attacked.This is a world-wide problem and we need to educate ourselves on the signs of abuse that we have been given by the author. We owe it to him to make a change.The author has shown so much bravery in sharing his story. The way in which It is written makes you feel like you are with him every step of the way. But we are only on the outside looking in.This is a must read book!

  •  Charlie✰ WLTB Blog ✰
    2019-05-27 03:31

    This is the last installment of the dear Teddy series.If this is you.. I really hope your life is better now and you are finally happy.All I can say is I didn't think it ended well. this poor boy the hell he had to live through every day of his life.. I really wanted to crawl into the book and take him away from all of it the and heal his pain and just hug him and tell him he is loved.. THESE people so-called parents argghh they wasn't fit to look after a dog let alone children... this is one story that will stay with me forever..I've cried so many tears for this little boy.. just wish others could have spotted the signs and helped him

  • Doris Ryder
    2019-06-03 05:33

    This, the fourth installment of the Teddy books is as heart-wrenching as the others. It is a graphic look into horrendous abuse of one boy throughout his childhood. A small boy who deserved unconditional love, who deserved laughter, and sunshine, hugs, and security, instead lived a daily nightmare. I wish it were in my power to remove all of his pain, all of his horrific childhood with what should have been. The abusers should have had to suffer far worse for their crimes against this child. Child abuse needs to stop. The abusers need to be punished. No person should live this way. J D Stockholm, I wish I could heal your wounds. You suffered so much yet you continued to love and protect those around you. You are a good man. I wish I could have protected you. I am sorry I did not know you, and I am so sorry no one ever protected you.

  • Nancy
    2019-06-09 04:44

    I cannot recommend the Dear Teddy series enough. It is the true story of a child that suffered horrible abuse. It is written in the voice of the child, and gives you a look into how he was feeling and thinking during it all. Dear Teddy starts at the age of five. Goodbye Teddy is an awesome conclusion to the series and takes you into his adult life. Please read and tell your friends about it. We couldn't be there to help this child during the abuse, but there are so many other kids that are going through the same thing. This series will educate you on a lot of things that happen in this world that go unnoticed. Great job JD and thanks for sharing your story.

  • Bobbie Dunham
    2019-05-29 06:40

    CourageOUSThank you for sharing your story. I come from a abusive family I give you courage to stay focus on the positive that's all you have,I wish sometimes I could have remembered to keep a journal. I won't lie I did have some hard times not understanding why you didn't say anything as you got older but I do kinda understand. Your book hit a lot of triggers and I know you do state that I believe I got a better understanding on my past. THANK YOU

  • Lizzie Winns
    2019-06-18 10:43

    This book is the last in the "Dear Teddy" series. It didn't end to well to my liking, I was expecting thru the whole book that he would be saved, but he really wasn't saved. His life was bad all the way up to fatherhood. Which so happened to him at the tender age of 16.

  • Ethan Martin
    2019-06-07 08:54


  • Teresa
    2019-05-27 06:45

    With every word, JD Stockholm isn't just telling his story, he is also reliving it. And he is teaching us. The unique way he shares his lesson, makes it possible for the reader to absorb what he is trying to convey. And one does. Every chapter is a lesson. A lesson of reality. A lesson of survival. A lesson of his life.His words will change you. They will enlighten you. They will open your eyes to the sick and twisted world that is child abuse. Some things that happen to this baby, this old soul as I call him, may have never been heard of by some of us.... or could even be fathomed for that matter. And yet sadly, other things - other acts perpetrated upon him, have become all too common in the world we live in today. Yes, his words, his story, his lesson, his very existence, will definitely open your eyes... even if you don't want to see.Be warned, for once you read his story, hear this tiny voice, you will never forget it. And you will be forever changed.When those around him behave less than human, his mind, his resolve, his loving nature and his Teddy Bear help pull him through. Times of betrayal, fear, self-loathing, pain, and utter despair, are cushioned, if you will, by that bear. Though he may sometimes falter, even crumble a bit, his spirit is not crushed. He proves it in this book, and he proves it still today. This boy's courage will do more than just tug at your heart strings. For most, it will rip them from one's chest and leave them dangling in silence, while the reader is left gasping for a breath to relieve the disgust, anger, horror and sorrow, while trying to dry the continuous flow of tears blurring the pages of this book.What if, that because of the prolonged horrible abuse from the ones you love most in this world...the ones who make up your world... believe you are truly evil; and as result, you stop caring what happens to you? You begin to believe all the lies they have filled your head with for your entire life. Yet you push onward.That's what this book is about. Unthinkable, unimaginable, horrifically cruel abuse. Ultimate betrayal. Catastrophic rejection. Torture. Rage. Sadness. Loneliness. Self-hatred. Abandonment. Starvation. Degradation. Humiliation. Slavery. Sociopathic predators. Unconscionable acts.And survival.As well as, resolve. Courage. Strength. Love. You will feel all of these and much, much more. Perhaps you will cry. Perhaps you will be angry... maybe only simply stunned. It was practically impossible for me to comprehend that one sweet little boy could have so many depraved "people "around him.So much evil.He isn't viewed as a human being by them, but simply an object. One that they find easy to prey upon. One that they condition to suit their sick needs. To torment. To torture. To use. And abuse. When he rebels, everything is intensified.Everything.This book is not for the weak-hearted. It is a powerful, personal account of a little boy's nightmare. One that he could not escape ... not in slumber... not in the waking state. It is one of physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse. Perhaps in its cruelest form, as most of it was inflicted upon him by the very ones who should've protected the most. His parents.Just imagine. When the only attention received, is abusive. Maddening. Just plain cruel. To have a a lifetime of it.A lifetime.This is far from being a fairytale. And so, imagine if you will, this child's mind set. That if, from as far back as you can remember, you were viewed as nothing more than a nuisance. ... by your own parents. Never receiving a loving embrace. Never being able to fully trust. Never feeling accepted. Wanted. Loved.And craving it.Always on edge. Ever vigilant anticipating the "next time." Feeling like an intruder. An outsider. Worthless - within your own family. Actually fearing the help by any outsiders, because you know your parents would retaliate... or worse, that you might be taken away from them. To love them with all your heart, yet receive none in return. To live in a family where you are reminded daily, that you are not wanted. Where you practically do not exist; except when they want to use you for their own sick gratification. Never hearing the words from your parents, that most of us take for granted; a sentence most of us either hear or utter every day, to our loved ones. "I love you."Wishing for something that would never come. Love.I say again... just imagine.JD's courage in writing and sharing his story should be applauded. I know that it is. I also know, that in some ways, for him, doing so was far more terrifying than living through it the first time. What if you felt you had to reveal your most intimate embarrassing and humiliating of secrets, to try and make sense of it all? To just try and heal? Yet that in doing so, thinking the world would hate you? Despite that fear, he has shown us what to look for, within the realm of abuse. He has taught us that things like this really do exist in this world. And he has proven to us that there is always hope...even if it is not easily seen.There are those who will, and have said, that this story isn't happy enough. It is that kind of attitude that allows and fuels the "head in the sand" mentality regarding the subject of abuse. If we don't believe it exists, then it won't. - Right? Well it does. In far too many forms. There is NO excuse for any child to endure even a fraction of what JD has, (and to a point) still does today. JD's life is a perfect example of how the human spirit can and does survive.Here in the U.S., amidst these violent times, we have a saying, which I know applies here. It is simply, "See something - say something."JD is saying something. And we, as a decent society should listen.Thank you for sharing this most difficult of stories with us all. JD Stockholm, you are truly an amazing man.

  • LeaCornell
    2019-06-09 06:55

    I have finished this entire series in less then 1 week. Every book was a page turner even though it caused anger, depression, flashbacks, nightmares and even rage. Rage to the point I wanted to jump in the book and rescue this child, find the address of the parent and school the child went to and have words. Understanding that (spoiler alert) his mom and dad have passed on, I want to yell at someone who let him slip though. Someone who ignored all the signs. This is a sign of a talented writer as well. JD Stockholm was able, through his talented writing, to provoke emotions that I do not typically feel when reading or even watching movies. He kept me coming back and wrote in such a way that the reader can follow the thoughts of a child through adolescence. Well done and I will continue to follow you and your work in the future.

  • Rin
    2019-05-20 02:37

    Surviving Hell Having to survive the abuse that this author survived. There always come a point that to live with yourself and the shame, the abused starts to numb their body to carry on. Having lived through similar things. It leaves you with one question that never gets answered....WHY???? The only thing we can do is to , make sure not to repeat our abusive past on to our own family. I read this for the author who wrote his story. Knowing the man he has become, I owed it to him, to know, what he has overcome. You are truly a survivor.

  • LettyT
    2019-06-13 09:34

    Thankful it's finally over for him and me, there were no real answers. Even the end where we're told the story by the now adult victim there's no reason. Also, why would an adult keep a relationship with the father who did these things, seems a little unbelievable. Although, admittedly he eventually broke ties with the father. But it's supposedly his story not mine, luckily they are KU books. If you want a graphic story of sexual abuse by parents to their child, this book is it.

  • Helen
    2019-05-31 09:33

    The final book in this series and it was just as heartbreaking as the others. How the author survived it all is a miracle and he has shown tremendous courage in writing about the terrible abuse he suffered. JD Stockholm you are an amazing person! Thank you for this series and I wish you a happy future.

  • Sara Kinkead
    2019-05-28 04:31

    How do you rate a book like this? It was a good book but I hated it. The whole series! It makes you sad, mad, and makes you realize what a sheltered life you've lived.