Read Beers In Heaven (A Modern Afterlife Novel) by Ford Forkum Online

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The debate over the origins of life ends here—with every belief system (including atheism) being proven embarrassingly wrong in the light of the actual truth. Religious people can, at least, take comfort in the fact that there is a God, as well as a Heaven. Likewise, they can continue to legitimately worry and agonize over being sent to Hell when they die, as Satan is alsoThe debate over the origins of life ends here—with every belief system (including atheism) being proven embarrassingly wrong in the light of the actual truth. Religious people can, at least, take comfort in the fact that there is a God, as well as a Heaven. Likewise, they can continue to legitimately worry and agonize over being sent to Hell when they die, as Satan is also real, and damnation is indeed eternal and unpleasant.Atheists, however, need not be disappointed with the assured existence of God, as they can still gloat over how mistaken every religion has been about mostly everything else.Heaven, particularly in the modern era, is a dauntingly complex place, especially for twenty-year-old Zack Preston, who had enough trouble adjusting to reality while he was still alive. Arriving in Heaven, he meets his assigned Orientation Guide, who explains to him that the purpose of eternal life is to strive to become ever more like God.Young Zack quickly realizes that mimicking God isn’t easy. In fact, he struggles with even the most basic principle of spiritual existence—namely, conducting his incorporeal body and learning to fly as angels are supposed to.His Orientation Guide warns him that unless he can achieve the power of flight during his orientation period, he may be judged unworthy of Heaven, and cast into Hell, with no chance of ever returning. All the while, he learns that, in an environment where anything is possible, a lot can go wrong (and frequently does.)Through the interweaving of Zack’s life and afterlife stories, you’ll get a comprehensive view of what you’re in for once you get there (assuming you get there.) You’ll learn Heaven’s procedures for judgment, induction and training of newly dead spirits. You’ll also learn what people do with an unfathomable amount of time on their hands. But above all, you’ll witness a barrage of ridiculously surreal happenings that could only occur when the foibles of human consciousness are pitted against unlimited possibilities....

Title : Beers In Heaven (A Modern Afterlife Novel)
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 18593072
Format Type : Kindle Edition
Number of Pages : 186 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Beers In Heaven (A Modern Afterlife Novel) Reviews

  • Oleg
    2019-04-03 11:17

    "The odd thing about surprises is how likely they are to occur."Zachary Alexander Preston, twenty years of age, finds himself in Heaven. He doesn't know it's Heaven, heck, he doesn't even know who he is or how he got here. That is, of course, a normal Heavenly operating procedure; it takes time and help from the local, well-trained "orientation guides," to reconstruct all the brain connections in this new, "spirit" form. However, unlike most, Zach arrives with his eyes open, which requires a hard reboot, loosing the subject in the process, and a lot of bureaucratic headache for both "Judgment Center" and "Emissary Headquarters."Heaven is not what Zach imagined it to be. As probably would hold true for most of us. However, just like the rest of the new arrivals, Zach, "whether he was dead and in Heaven, or alive and insane (or in Heaven and insane), there was nothing to do but go along with it."Beers In Heaven (A Modern Afterlife Novel) by Ford Forkum is a book that skims the border of "tongue in the cheek" metaphysical and then bounces to the modern comedy. There are two intertwining plotlines in this novel: one describes Zach's heavenly education in "enlightenment" and recovering his memories, while the other one is about those memories, that leads the reader to understand how the protagonist ended up in Heaven at such an early age.The language is easy; there is humor, irony, and sarcasm present almost on every page. There are also deeper undercurrents of self-examination and a bit of philosophy and theology to spice things up for those who like to read a story on multiple levels. If I had to compare "Beers In Heaven" to other novels, I would probably say that it's a cross between Pratchett's and Vonnegut's work during the "Heavenly" bits, with occasional excursions to Sedaris' when we learn about Zach's earthly existence. Good read.

  • Rabid Readers Reviews
    2019-03-24 16:02

    I just love Ford Forkum’s sense of humor. I have previously likened this author to Douglas Adams and Jasper Fforde (read my review of “Alien Invasion in the Zombie Apocalypse” by clicking here). In “Beers in Heaven,” Forkum lands more heavily in the surreal whackadoo land that is the wonderful Fforde. From the moment Zach arrives in Heaven things go off course. He opens his eyes in the processing center and wanders off to the wrong cloud where he meets a talking giraffe who subsequently names himself Woobles. The story-line of a giraffe floating in space pondering his existence and purpose that is so like something Douglas Adams would have written and yet spoken with such a unique voice that I inwardly cheered for the creation of Woobles and his brilliant insertion into this truly fun story line. Zach is eventually found and returned to the Welcome Center where he must learn the ins and outs and being dead and his path to enlightenment. Forkum’s characters are well developed and able to maintain a strong normality in completely insane circumstance. I cannot give this funny and clever novel anything less than five stars and eagerly await the next work by this fabulous author.

  • Helena Karlsson
    2019-04-12 14:19

    I went in not knowing what to expect and closed the book (well, not really as I read it on my kindle) with a smile on my face. Zack Preston finds himself in modern day Heaven, where he is processed with the help of computer software and is allocated a cloud furnished with flats, parks and bars and restaurants where he can buy beer. To help him come to terms with his life (and untimely death) he has a confused giraffe and a professional guide. Only too soon is the reader made aware that Zack is struggling and his worst fear is to be sent downstairs…I found I had to make myself continue the read initially, but as the suspense grew I was drawn into the novel. Zack is as loveable as a stray dog and his struggle at life together with the very comic parts of the book makes it a story I cannot but recommend. It is written in the same crazy style as the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams) and I am sure it will find readers and fans who enjoy this genre.Oh, and by the way, it has nothing to do with religion so no one should have to feel offended. (I bought this book to read and review.)

  • Kim
    2019-03-29 17:31

    A Different Read "Beers In Heaven" by Ford ForkumZachary Preston, 20 years old finds himself in Heaven, he doesn't remember how or why he's there, he's not suppose to know. On his way to Heaven the oddest thing happens, Zach goes through the Judgement center with his eyes open. The judgement center and the Emissary center start flipping out. How could this happen.Zach is shuttled through tubes, this all with eyes open, scared to death.He lands on cloud 999 where he sees a house just like earths houses. Meanwhile they send Amber to look for him. There are places that resemble earth, like clothing stores, bars, game rooms, parks to help the people feel at home through their enlightening process. There's a surprise giraffe named wobbles that friends Zach. There's so much more to this story. There's the spiritual side and the humorous side. That's why I like reading from this author, no serous stuff to think of, just a fun read. Download and read all about Zach's enlightening and spiritual process of being in Heaven.

  • Cinta
    2019-03-27 12:05

    I started reading this book with high expectations, because I had quite enjoyed the author's previous book, but I got disappointed very soon. I found it so boring that it took me forever to finish it. Besides, finding typos and even missing words is something that really annoys me.Maybe the problem is that I am not a very religious, theological, mystical, philosophical (you choose the word) person, because at the beginning of the book I could hardly understand anything that it was going on. I never think of an afterlife, so maybe this book was a metaphor for something else and I didn't understand it.Flat characters and kind of predictable plot. The ending seemed too rushed for me.

  • P.S. Winn
    2019-04-19 12:14

    I really enjoyed this sarcastic and humorous look at the afterlife. When Zachary Preston finds himself in heaven, things aren't exactly the way he or anyone else imagined. First of all, Zachary has a bit of amnesia and can't remember his life or his death for that matter. As he uses meditation to recover his memories the reader is given access to Zack's life and then his untimely death. Zack is given an orientation guide to help him with this, in this ironic tale, not everything is as it seems and beware for some fun and unusual surprised as you find out about heaven and all those involved.

  • Arun
    2019-04-10 17:28

    This book started off interesting but became bland and boring quite quickly. The build-up to the protagonist's death was long-drawn and tiresome. The talking giraffe was fun at the start but became boring very soon. I couldn't connect with any of the characters but found the description of Heaven interesting. Overall, an average book.