Read Not Funny (colon) My Humor Pieces Rejected by The New Yorker by Mark Oristano Online

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Want a quick laugh. This one will get you through the first half hour of your flight. Short humor pieces I've written and submitted to the New Yorker magazine, all of which have been shot down with pinpoint rejection letters or emails. I still think they're funny. That's why I'm showing them here. For instance, how CNN tries to overcome it's lagging ratings...THE SITUATIONWant a quick laugh. This one will get you through the first half hour of your flight. Short humor pieces I've written and submitted to the New Yorker magazine, all of which have been shot down with pinpoint rejection letters or emails. I still think they're funny. That's why I'm showing them here. For instance, how CNN tries to overcome it's lagging ratings...THE SITUATION ROOM WITH WOLF BLITZER will now be known as THE SITUATION COMEDY ROOM WITH WOLF BLITZER AND MICHAEL RICHARDS. The former SEINFELD star, who has been in TV oblivion since that smash show, will offer pithy comments on the news such as, “What’s the deal with Sudan? Where the heck is it, anyway? And who names a country after a car model? Would you want to live in a place called “Station Wagonia?” A large staff of speech therapists will also work with Blitzer to get him. To stop. Breaking his sentences off. In the. Middle. CNN set designers are hard at work on a new set which will look even more like a gigantic Mondrian.Or, some advice I gave the Harvard class of 2012, or would have, if they'd invited me to speak...President Faust, distinguished guests, members of the class of 2012, ladies and gentlemen. It is, indeed, a singular honor to be here with you today, you chosen few, you men and women of the social and intellectual elite, as you begin your life-long journey to pay off your student loans. When I was a young man, navigating my way through what were, for me, the often typhoon-like waters of academia, there was no need for student loans. This is because, when the world was much younger, tuition prices were much more realistic. From September of 1970 to May of 1974, my four years at Texas Christian University (far fewer Nobel Prize winners, but our football team can kick your ass) my tuition rate was a whopping $50 a semester hour. Adjusted for inflation, and figuring weight for age, my entire four years of tuition did not amount to what you, or your parents spent, or borrowed, for one semester hour of tuition at Harvard. As the waiter in my favorite Chinese restaurant likes to say, "Enjoy!"...

Title : Not Funny (colon) My Humor Pieces Rejected by The New Yorker
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ISBN : 20519031
Format Type : Kindle Edition
Number of Pages : 22 Pages
Status : Available For Download
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Not Funny (colon) My Humor Pieces Rejected by The New Yorker Reviews