Read You're a Vampire - That Sucks!: A Survival Guide by Domenick Dicce Online

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Being bitten by and turned into a vampire isn’t the glitz and glamor that Hollywood makes it out to be. In fact, one out of five newly turned vampires will succumb to a slew of easily avoidable and common pitfalls within their first few months as a nightwalker—tempting garlic-laced Italian food, silver jewelry, and anything with an SPF below 1,000 will have to go. As an anBeing bitten by and turned into a vampire isn’t the glitz and glamor that Hollywood makes it out to be. In fact, one out of five newly turned vampires will succumb to a slew of easily avoidable and common pitfalls within their first few months as a nightwalker—tempting garlic-laced Italian food, silver jewelry, and anything with an SPF below 1,000 will have to go. As an answer to this tragic loss of undead life, “Count" Domenick Dicce has written the definitive how-to guide that just might save your pale, ice-cold skin. This helpful tome will cover everything from Vampire 101—such as hunting, feeding, and getting used to your new powers—to Vampire Graduate Studies—such as coffin selection, the ghoulish world of vampiric social hierarchy, and the universal Laws of the Vampire.This humorous and giftable guide will be perfect for you or the vampire nut in your life, complete with illustrations throughout....

Title : You're a Vampire - That Sucks!: A Survival Guide
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9780399175886
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 160 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

You're a Vampire - That Sucks!: A Survival Guide Reviews

  • Andrew Buckley
    2018-08-01 02:45

    It with the utmost gratitude to the author Mr. Dicce, that I finally found a book that could help my poor brother. He thought he had mono, turned out he's actually a vampire. Thanks to this handy survival guide, he's now very clear on the actions he must take to successfully continue life as a blood-sucking fiend of the night. You're a Vampire: That Sucks! is a comprehensive guide for anyone who thinks they may have been turned into a vampire and needs to learn the ropes, and fast. Everything from food selection, special abilities, misconceptions, and fang care, to where to sleep, victims to avoid, hiding bodies, and the hallowed Laws of the Vampire! I highly recommend this informative and entertaining read to the recently bitten and also for those humans who want to avoid becoming food.

  • Marcie
    2018-07-17 07:29

    So . . . I expect any day now to be turned into a vampire. Why else would I have this book? If you're recently one of the undead, or soon to be undead, you might want to check out this book: You're a Vampire: That Sucks! by Count Domenick Dicce. Why would I need a book to tell me how to be a vampire, you might ask yourself. After all, if you're like me, you've been watching movies and reading books--Buffy, Interview With A Vampire, Twilight, Trueblood, Black Dagger Brotherhood--about vampires for years. Surely you'd have vampirism down by now. But there is a lot of misinformation out there and you don't want your undead years to be shorter than you living years.That's why this book is so great. Dicce sorts urban legend from fact. In this book you'll learn things such as:FeedingHuntingWeaknesses Powers (Yes, you have powers!)How to pick the perfect coffinHow to manage your money to last you a long, long timeHow to make friends and not kill themWhy familiars are necessaryHow to turn someone else into a vampireVampire laws: Why you should follow them This is the perfect gift for the newly turned vampire in your life. Dicce approaches the heavy topic with humor and grace. It will make your transition into this new phase of life much easier. And hey, if I accidentally run into you, and mistakenly eat you for dinner, no hard feelings, right? Read more at http://www.toreadornottoread.net/2015...

  • Kitty Chatfou
    2018-08-14 05:22

    Domenick Dicce has the ability to weave humor into real life issues for Vampire kind very well. This book is a must have for all fledgling kindred! Not only is the truth of what he writes so well expressed but the humor it is delivered with takes some of the pressure off all the rules and regulations to being a model Vampire citizen. Having been friends with many Vampire's during my 40+ years on this earth, I can tell you that what he writes about in this book is very true... and should not be taken lightly... Did I mention that this book was actually a work of non-fiction? ;) I will actively seek more of Domenick's works and I sincerely hope that he someday finds a willing participant that will help him write a book similar to this for Werewolf kind. We... ahem... they sorely need one.

  • Dragonlady
    2018-08-13 04:32

    With Halloween fast approaching, run, don’t walk to your nearest bookseller and grab a copy of “Count” Dicce’s thoroughly entertaining, tongue-in-cheek vampire survival guide. Unlike other survival guides which are geared toward ensuring humans make it through zombie attacks or worse, “Count” Dicce wants to ease the newly turned into their “life” as a vampire. Beginning with the vampire food pyramid, proper feeding techniques, vampire strengths and weaknesses, the guide goes on to explore how to avoid being staked, making a “living” and so much more. Told in the first person, the “Count” will leave you not only well informed but likely dealing with the side effects of laughter, enjoy.

  • Sheyla ✎
    2018-07-18 07:34

    If I ever become a vampire, I know exactly what to do.This guide had everything you wanted to know about being one and how to survive. What to do and what to avoid. I had a good time reading it. It was a short book and it won't take you more than a few of hours to finish it.3/5 FangsA complimentary copy was provided by the publisher via netgalley in exchange for an honest review.MrsLeif's Two Fangs About It | Facebook | Twitter

  • GaryRivera
    2018-08-07 07:29

    me he reído muchísimo con este libro!! muy bueno para matar el tiempo!!! es divertidisimo!

  • Domenick Dicce
    2018-07-23 02:44