Read The Adventures of Short Stubbly Brownbeard by Alan J.Levine Online

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"Avast ye land lubbers! This here book does for we pirates what lemons did for scurvy! It's good fer what ails ye! Buy it or blast ye! Arrr!"-Long John Silver "The mastery of relativity and quantum mechanics these pirates demonstrate does not surprise me. I often did physics with pirates and found them to be brilliant theorists when not monkey-full and rat-legged on hot ch"Avast ye land lubbers! This here book does for we pirates what lemons did for scurvy! It's good fer what ails ye! Buy it or blast ye! Arrr!"-Long John Silver "The mastery of relativity and quantum mechanics these pirates demonstrate does not surprise me. I often did physics with pirates and found them to be brilliant theorists when not monkey-full and rat-legged on hot chocolate."-Albert Einstein"No, I don't plan on reading the book. I never did approve of his choice to become a pirate. His father and I worked so hard to get him through college and then he goes off and does this. But we've since accepted that our son is a slimed sea dog and a curse upon the waters. We still love him."-Brownbeard's mom, EthelBlackbeard the Pirate's lesser-known, not-quite-as-successful cousin, Short Stubbly Brownbeard, leads a normal, boring life of respectability and social engagements. All of that changes one night while working late at the office. Brownbeard is attacked by a mob of angry numbers thirsty for the blood of a young accountant. Fearing for his mental balance, Brownbeard leaves his desk job to become a pirate.With the aid of a dysfunctional but semi-competent crew, Brownbeard finds himself across the galaxy on the most ambitious heist ever. In The Empire of Sa'Laam, with its miles high and miles deep towers, Brownbeard and crew hatch a wickedly devious plan to swindle The Emperor of his wealth. But in Sa'Laam, the game of Empire is for real-it's played every night in front of millions of screaming fans-and it's played for keeps.If Brownbeard participates, he'll have to face both the sinister truth behind the facade of Sa'Laam, and his own greed and complacency. But the truth will necessitate a fight to the death, requiring a courage and resolve which Brownbeard has never possessed. Can he win the game? Or will his first adventure as a pirate be his last?...

Title : The Adventures of Short Stubbly Brownbeard
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9780595392483
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 280 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

The Adventures of Short Stubbly Brownbeard Reviews

  • Heather Hay
    2019-04-05 13:28

    Enjoy this book as quick read in comedy and as a short work of prose. Don't expect to be glued to your armchair for hours however. This book fell short from being a great and unique comedic science fiction read. I was not used to this author's writing style and at times the sentences became a distraction to the story.If you are considering reading this book and you are of discerning literary taste, think twice about reading this one. True pirate aficionados would enjoy reading this book while lounging on a drifting boat at sea... with some beer.

  • HBalikov
    2019-04-15 10:46

    Should I waste your time with this review? Maybe, only to keep you from wasting your time with this book.Levine poses the question: What would Blackbeard the Pirate's cousin be like...hence the title. Levine wants to explore everything from what lies beyond the solar system to what if there were magicians and trolls and cats that could astro-navagate.The plot is flimsy.He thinks that "cute" dialogue can carry it along....and it can't.There is no good audience for the book because it tries to appeal to every demographic in turn. Geeks will be put off by the lack of consistency in the science. Young adults will have to understand things like "root canal oral surgery" in order to get many of the "jokes." The lovers of fantasy will already know a thousand better works of fiction. Anyone who stays with this to the end will be rewarded with a list of "names not to name you child."'nuff said?

  • ✰☽♥✰Unsolved Mystery ✰♥☾✰
    2019-03-26 14:42

    I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway. Thanks very much. =)- My Description -Care to take a trip wit' Brownbeard 'n his crew? Come along. They have ships that sail through hyperspace, shoutin' 'n silent trolls, a sand witch & her sandcastle, 'n one sassy cat. - My Review -I thought 'tis was one well deserved adventure 'o a tale. Obstacles be thrown in Brownbeard's plans every hour he turns around.Obstacles, battles, 'n challenges - oh, me! Save fer a few thin's I thought could have be left out, 'tis book was a ruckas. I liked th' endin' a lot. =) Arr, me matey!

  • Clare
    2019-04-15 16:23

    I tried. Really, I tried. Pirates? I love 'em. Accountants? Not so much.Pirates who drink hot chocolate? Silly, but acceptable.Using the phrase Jumping Jehosaphat? tiresome.The weird names? The asides? Not for me. Arrgh.

  • Josh
    2019-03-28 13:37

    suonds intressting enuf to read 2 times to me

  • Bettie☯
    2019-04-17 10:37

    .