Read The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- To Four-Year-Old by Harvey Karp Paula Spencer Online


Toddlers can drive you adorable and fun one stubborn and demanding the next! Yet, as unbelievable as it sounds, there is a way to turn the daily stream of "nos" and "don'ts" into "yeses" and hugs...if you know how to speak your toddler's language. In one of the most useful advances in parenting techniques of the past twenty-five years, Dr. Karp revToddlers can drive you adorable and fun one stubborn and demanding the next! Yet, as unbelievable as it sounds, there is a way to turn the daily stream of "nos" and "don'ts" into "yeses" and hugs...if you know how to speak your toddler's language. In one of the most useful advances in parenting techniques of the past twenty-five years, Dr. Karp reveals that toddlers, with their immature brains and stormy outbursts, should be thought of not as pint-size people but as pintsize...cavemen. Having noticed that the usual techniques often failed to calm crying toddlers, Dr. Karp discovered that the key to effective communication was to speak to them in their own primitive language. When he did, suddenly he was able to soothe their outbursts almost every time! This amazing success led him to the realization that children between the ages of one and four go through four stages of "evolutionary" growth, each linked to the development of the brain, and each echoing a step in prehistoric humankind's journey to civilization: - The "Charming Chimp-Child" (12 to 18 months): Wobbles around on two legs, grabs everything in reach, plays a nonstop game of "monkey see monkey do."- The "Knee-High Neanderthal" (18 to 24 months): Strong-willed, fun-loving, messy, with a vocabulary of about thirty words, the favorites being "no" and "mine."- The "Clever Caveman" (24 to 36 months): Just beginning to learn how to share, make friends, take turns, and use the potty.- The "Versatile Villager" (36 to 48 months): Loves to tell stories, sing songs and dance, while trying hard to behave. To speak to these children, Dr. Karp has developed two extraordinarily effective techniques: 1) The "fast food" rule--restating what your child has said to make sure you got it right;2) The four-step rule--using gesture, repetition, simplicity, and tone to help your irate Stone-Ager be happy again. Once you've mastered "toddler-ese," you will be ready to apply behavioral techniques specific to each stage of your child's development, such as teaching patience and calm, doing time-outs (and time-ins), praise through "gossiping," and many other strategies. Then all the major challenges of the toddler years--including separation anxiety, sibling rivalry, toilet training, night fears, sleep problems, picky eating, biting and hitting, medicine taking "-- "can be handled in a way that will make your toddler feel understood. The result: fewer tantrums, less yelling, and, best of all, more happy, loving time for you and your child. "From the Hardcover edition."...

Title : The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- To Four-Year-Old
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9780553381436
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 336 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- To Four-Year-Old Reviews

  • Susanne
    2019-01-16 08:59

    I was SO impressed with Dr Karp's first book, "The Happiest Baby on the Block," that I didn't even look at the "Happiest Toddler" before buying it. The five "S's" in "The Happiest Baby" absolutely saved our sanity when Isaac was a newborn. For him, it really was like flipping a switch from cranky to calm. After reading"Happiest Toddler," I find myself thinking that there are some suggestions I might refer back to at some future date (since the book covers toddler's behavior from one to four years), but nothing that strikes me as brilliant or revolutionary. The appendix at the end of the book summaries what the previous 292 pages detail: (in my own words)1. Remember that your toddler is not an adult. He has a lot of learning and growing to do before he is a rational being.2. Be your toddler's best friend, and explain new things and feelings to him -- because to him, EVERYTHING is new.3 & 4. Reflect your toddler's feelings and thoughts back to him before telling him what you feel or think. He needs to know that he is understood -- because until now, he has not been able to communicate very clearly. Not only that, use short phrases, appropriate tone, and body language, since these are what HE understands best.5. Keep in mind what you already know about your toddler: how much and of what can he take before he gets angry or frustrated. Don't push too much too fast.6. Remember that he is not TRYING to piss you off. He is hypothesis-testing (to borrow a phrase from Dr. John Medina). He needs to know if your rules are the same as they were a minute ago. And another minute ago. And inside as well as outside. You get the picture.7. Let him know what you like, and why you like it. Let him know you are proud of him.8. Spend time with your toddler. (Now that's revolutionary!)9. Use re-direction before punishment. 10. Punishment can look like a brief period of ignoring, or loss of privileges.

  • Kelly Cooke
    2019-01-15 04:53

    This book made me wish for the rebirth of the pamphlet. You know how Thomas Paine and those folks around the birth of our nation had these big ideas but then put them in a pamphlet? I think that's what Harvey Karp should do. Only, his ideas (in this book, anyway) aren't really that big. Here's something that bothers me. A writer or somesuch will have a decent idea and sell many, many books (i.e. "The Happiest Baby on the Block," which I enjoyed in DVD form and "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren which I have not read but every mother in America seems to have enjoyed). So they make lots of money. Then a few years pass and they think, "I'm gonna do that again." So they release things like "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" and some book that I saw is on sale at Safeway this week called something like "The Purpose Driven Christmas." If a person is fortunate enough to come up with an idea that resonates with people or helps them, they should bow their heads in humble appreciation of the money that is falling through their doors and then just...fall silent. Sorry, Harvey. I might have given you an extra star if your non-ideas had been published in pamphlet form. That was meaner than I meant it to be. I just don't have the time to waste on dumb books and it makes me irritable.

  • Hilarie
    2019-01-12 03:05

    These days, it seems as though every book written by a doctor has a catchy gimmick designed to grab the interest of the reader. This book was no exception, as on the back cover Dr. Karp lovingly refers to toddlers everywhere as pint-sized cavemen. Since I am currently in the throws of the toddler years, I had to agree with Dr. Karp, as there are days that my little one happily wreaks destruction. Lest you think that Dr. Karp is somehow being insulting, let me assure you that it is very evident that not only does he enjoy toddlers and find them fascinating, but that he respects them as well. The point of all the prehistoric talk is really just a clever way to point out the differences that exist between the thought processes of an adult and a child (ages 1 to 4).Dr. Karp's premise is that in the first four years of life your child will accomplish huge developmental milestones as their brains grow and develop. He divides the ages into four groups: The Charming Chimp-Child (12 to 18 Months), The Knee-High Neanderthal (18 to 24 Months), The Clever Cave-Kid (24 to 36 Months), and The Versatile Villager (36 to 48 Months). Each of these groupings is actually a pneumonic used to describe the highlights of that particular age grouping, for example Cave-Kid's are:C= Curiouser and curiouserA= Attention IncreasesV= Very BusyE= Enjoys Pleasing YouK= KinderI= Interested in Order and ComparisonsD= Determined to CommunicateDr. Karp also enourages adults to speak to toddlers in their own language, or what he refers to as "Toddler-ese." Basically, the idea is that when a child is upset it is pretty pointless to try and talk to them as little adults. He offers basic tips on communicating more effectively with your toddler, and I found that many of these tips were good communication pointers in general.I took my time reading this book as I was anxious to give his suggestions a try. Many of them actually worked! It was a little embarrasing speaking "Toddler-ese" in public, but Dr. Karp makes a good point that when your child is in the midst of a tantrum, you usually feel that you are the center of attention anyway. Most of all, I really enjoyed reading this book as it was fascinating to think about all the things my little one has already accomplished and all she will continue to accomplish. If you have young children, or spend a lot of time with the 1 to 4 set, then I can't recommend this book highly enough.

  • Becca
    2019-01-05 05:47

    My 2 year old Rosie was melting down-- it was past naptime, and we were on the 8th activity of the day-- decorating cupcakes--and she DESPERATELY wanted a handful of m&ms. She started screaming, CANDY!!!! CANDY!!!! Auntie Bridget said to me, "have you read The Happiest Toddler on the block?" I told her-- "I've just started it!" I begged Bridget for a demonstration. She leaned across the table, right into Rosie's face and wailed at a Wagnerian pitch, "You want candy!!!!!! You want candy, huh!!!! Wow, you really want some candy right now!!!!" Rosie was stunned into silence, and then nodded, totally fixed on Bridget. "Well, why don't you sit down and help me out and then I'll let you have a piece."Rosie sat down, and looked adoringly up at Aunty Bridget, waiting further instructions."That's all honey, you can go back to making cupcakes, we'll talk later." And Rosie went back to her playing-- TOTALLY MOLLIFIED. In fact she followed her around adoringly the rest of the day.We were stunned! It was hilarious and terrifying! 16 year old Brandon cracked-- "wow, I want to sit down and be quiet now too!"So. It's weird. And apparently very, very effective.

  • Matt Weber
    2018-12-30 03:52

    A difficult read, but its very disjointedness accumulates through the chapters to ramify into a very real hallucinatory power. Characters flit through, ghostlike, evanescent, there and gone, so transitory that mere recurrence strikes one like a thunderbolt -- for example, the brothers Aidan and Nate, the source of whose tantrums is never fully anatomized but whose too-brief anguishes ignite the page like black fire. The repetitious, misspelled incantations of thwarted desire sometimes recall Faulkner's Benjy, sometimes Keyes' Charly, sometimes (perhaps most poignantly) McCarthy's nameless Kid; and the image of prehistoric man, slope-browed, iron-thewed, and parched for blood, painting buffalo on the walls of the caves of our children's hearts, will haunt even the most stoic reader long after the last page rustles shut.

  • Leslie
    2018-12-30 02:52

    I was pleasantly surprised with this book. Not only is it an easy, quick read, but it's also really congruent throughout; everything fits together like a perfect puzzle. It's like you've hired a personal parent trainer who has provided you with a complete "work out" plan, and all the parts work together for the general benefit. I went into it with the mentality of taking everything as a grain of salt (is that the expression? or is it "with" a grain of salt? neither really makes sense to me). My most general satisfaction with it comes from the fact that I definitely feel like I understand my daughter better, and I understand myself as a parent better. There are specific theories and suggestions that Dr. Karp presents that I found enlightening. I finally feel like it might be possible to discipline my daughter with love and be firm at the same time. I LOVE almost all of his suggestions for encouraging "green-light" behavior; some of my favorites were "time-ins" as a way to cut down on the need for time-outs, "gossip"(letting the tot overhear you telling other people--or her toys--how happy you are about something she did), and "special time" (corny name but great idea: setting aside 10 or so minutes a couple of times a day where your toddler has your undivided attention--no interruptions allowed--where you just play together or do whatever your child wants to do...this is in addition to all other play time and together time during the day). I liked the whole idea of going through "the side door" of your child's mind to encourage good behavior by catching others being good and by letting your child overhear you saying what kind of behavior makes you happy or sad. According to Dr. Karp (and it seems to make sense), children are more likely to believe praise and to conform to expectations if they overhear the information instead of being told it (praise) or being told to do it (living up to behavioral expectations).At first I was skeptical about the overreaching applications and success of the fast-food rule and Toddler-ese, but then I had an testimonial-worthy experience. Today I was sitting on the couch by Emma. She kept trying to grab my book (this very book) from me, being extremely rough with the pages (the library wouldn't be too happy about it), and I reacted like I normally would: "Emma, no, no. This is Mommy's book. Here, you can have your own book." She just kept screaming and trying to tear the book away from me. So I figured, well, this is as good a time as any to try this stuff out. So I arranged my face and tone of voice to imitate what I hoped was about a third of her emotions and said, "You want Mommy's book! Emma says, 'Book! Book! I want book!' " She kept screaming. So I tried it again, upping my intensity a bit, since apparently I wasn't hitting her "sweet spot." She kept screaming, so I repeated my sympathetic, understanding verbage, and lo and behold, she stopped freaking out and let go of the book, completely calm. She looked up at me, and I could almost hear Dr. Karn's voice: "Now it's your turn to express your parental feelings and give the 'but' statement," so I said, "But sorry, this is Mommy's book. Here you go! Here's a book just for Emma!" She accepted her book and we were on our way. I'm converted. At least for today.

  • Elizabeth
    2019-01-03 03:46

    I have to disagree with most of the reviews of this book. I read this book during a period of severe tantrums from my one year old, and a lot of the strategies suggested in this book really seemed to help. Simply coming to the realization that my toddler was more like a little caveman rather than a little person helped dramatically. Before reading the book, I constantly was asking myself an anyone else near, "why is she acting like this?!?!" Reading this book have me some much needed insight. Also, some things I was doing wrong seemed so silly after reading the explanations. For example, a lot of parents make the mistake of always trying to distract their child when they're upset. This is similar to reacting to friend who is telling you about a bad day like "hey, look at my shoes", not helpful. I got a lot out of this book, and my daughter's tantrums have decreased and are much more manageable now.

  • Harmony
    2018-12-26 05:41

    I loved this book. I was so surprised to come onto Goodreads today and find that so many people gave the book low or mediocre ratings! I think that it basically comes down to doing what you feel is comfortable and successful. Perhaps the methods that Dr. Karp recommends don't sit well with all parents, or don't work for all children.I really felt like the book further opened my eyes to how toddlers see the world. Many of things he recommended, I already do with the toddlers I babysit. The new ideas I gained from the book have only increased my skills in communicating with toddlers, working with them as a team instead of fighting for the desired behavior, and ultimately teaching these mighty spirits in little bodies to respect self and me. This book continually had me chuckling.

  • Ani Victor
    2019-01-06 02:36

    This book no! Make mad! MAD! MAD!Book done? Me happy! HAPPY! YAY!If you don't want to read variances of the two sentences above then I suggest avoiding this book entirely. The author explains that by talking to your child like a caveman in what he calls "Toddler-ese," you'll stifle tantrums asap and have a happier and more cooperative child. That may be true, but halfway through this book I was already banging my head against a wall with all his examples. Perhaps I would have a more respectful child, but I'll have lost all respect for myself in the meanwhile. I'll just keep yelling at my kids to shut up and hoping they'll listen. Just kidding, I know they won't listen.

  • Jessica
    2019-01-17 06:06

    I was actually surprised by how much I got out of this book. I never really used Dr. Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block techniques, although that was mainly because our little one was already older when I read it. But I thought I would check this one out, as I needed a little guidance for the toddler years! Many of Dr. Karp's techniques sound a little ridiculous, and they honestly feel a little ridiculous at first, but I think they work. It's all about respecting your toddler by acknowledging how they feel, but in a way that they will understand. Setting clear limits and enforcing them is also paramount. I have been trying out the "Fast Food Rule" and "Toddler-ese" with my son, and I think they have helped him to feel more understood, and it gets us back on the right track when he starts to get upset about something. I don't use toddler-ese quite the way that Dr. Karp does (I just can't quite make myself talk to him like he's Tarzan), but using shorter phrases and repeating them seems to work. Overall I think the focus on respect and praising positive behaviors is a really good way to think about the next couple of years. Toddlers aren't deliberately "bad" most of the time - they're just learning about their world, and we need to remember that.

  • Sally
    2019-01-17 11:00

    I think it's important to relate to your kids, to try to understand where they're coming from, to even speak to them on their level, respecting their abilities. But I will not get on the floor and cry in baby-speak just because my 2 year old is doing it! There are better, gentle, more dignified ways.I was surprised that I didn't like this book (I actually watched the video) as much as The Happiest Baby on the Block because there were some ideas in the baby book that are right-on. Not so with the toddler book, in my opinion.

  • Stephanie
    2019-01-10 05:42

    I really liked Dr. Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block because it was so straight forward. This book? Not so much. He advocates talking to a child in what I find to be a silly and non-sensical way. If a child has a tantrum about say being hungry, for example, you're supposed to tell her: "You're hungry. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry." I mean, I get that toddlers can't be reasoned with, and I understand his point that toddlers are essentially uncivilized cavemen, but really? I just can't do this toddlerese he suggests. Charlotte understands me. I don't speak in long sentences with her, so I don't need to resort to talking like this. Also, I really didn't like his suggestions about how to praise your child. He suggests you put little check marks on the child's hand whenever he or she does something worthy of praise. Then you're supposed to go through and tell your child ALL the wonderful things he or she did during the day during bedtime. We heaps tons of praise on Charlotte, but I kind of feel like parroting all of that back at the end of the day seems a little too much. I just didn't find anything useful with dealing with tantrums. I'm glad I checked this out from the library and didn't buy it.One area of good information:1) One area that I did feel was useful for most was Dr. Karp's suggestion that trying to distract a toddler doesn't help them feel better. They're not babies anymore and toddlers need to work out the issues. Distracting them won't stop them from being unhappy. The problem? Charlotte is a really happy baby, and she gets over things quickly, but sometimes she can't get herself to stop crying. Distraction works in this case! She needs something else to focus on. Her needs have been met, she just needs a little extra help to stop crying. But I can see that this isn't the case for most kids.

  • Gail
    2019-01-18 08:06

    I haven't even touched a parenting book since Dean was an infant, but once he hit that 17-month mark, the Toddler Tornado took us by surprise and I found myself grappling for how to handle the sudden meltdowns my son started having on me (much to my chagrin). No surprise that I would turn to Harvey Karp for answers, since his Happiest Baby on the Block book (he of the great "swaddling" fame) saved me as a new mother in those very early days of parenthood! His Toddler answer to his parenting series has been no different, providing me some GREAT solutions (and insight into the toddler mind) that have really helped sooth my frayed nerves during this difficult transition into a new era of parenting. As Harvey says, toddlers are challenging until they're about 4 or so —which means, you know, we've only got about another 2 years to get through this stage (and then it's all smooth sailing right? Right ;) ). SO grateful we have his advice to help us get through them!

  • Lynne
    2018-12-25 03:59

    A solid basic parenting book for toddlers, although with a somewhat strange twist about considering your toddler to be a caveman. Most of his points are very good basic parenting advice, but the "toddler-ese" thing is a bit strange. Tried it with some of my patients and some of the parents out-right laughed at me or looked at me like I lost my mind and it didn't really actually help with the kid's distress. Definitely, it doesn't work on Spenser who just looks at me like I'm nuts and with an expression like, "Why aren't you talking to me in normal English like you normally do?" The jury is still out on the "toddler-ese"...

  • Real Supergirl
    2018-12-25 06:02

    There's tons of good suggestions in here, reading it when my son is only 1 year is a little overwhelming as I don't really know yet what kind of toddler he'll be, but I suspect I will return to it as his toddler years unfold. It's useful as an easy to read, philosophical approach to parenting - it's not about control or making our little "cavemen" into who we want them to be, it's about helping them navigate the world safely and become who they want to be, who they have the potential to be, and who they want to be.

  • Özge İnci
    2019-01-09 08:50

    Çocuk doktoru olan ve halen mesleğini icra etmeye devam eden Harvey Karp'ın yıllar süren tecrübe ve gözlemlerini aktardığı ve geliştirdiği kendine has yöntemlerle bezediği bu kitabı, okuduğum çocuk gelişim kitapları arasında en dolu dolu, en bilgi verici en faydalı ve etkileyici olanı oldu. Yalnız her şey muhteşem giderken sona yakın bölümlerden birinde uyku eğitimine dair uygulamalar paylaşması beni şaşırttı ve hayal kırıklığına uğrattı. O bölümler hariç, tekrar tekrar dönüp okuyacağım ve ihtiyaç duyacağım bir başucu kitabı.

  • Philitsa
    2019-01-09 08:02

    A lot of this book didn't really resound for me except -- as others have stated -- the FFR. I use that all the time in my personal and professional lives, so it made sense to extend it to my daughter. There has been an improvement in her tantrum recovery time that I'll attribute to that. However, I simply refuse to speak like a caveman to her when she's upset. I just don't buy it. How will dropping pronouns and prepositions make her understand me more? I'm happy to hear from other parents on this, but I just don't see the benefit.There were two other behaviors that I found myself doing that jumped out at me in the same section that made me say, "Duh... Stop doing that!"1. Distraction -- My daughter gets PISSED at me if she's upset and I try to distract her out of it. It took this book to help me realize she's not a baby any more and distraction does not make her forget she's unhappy. As a matter of fact, this book astutely points out that a toddler will either get more angry that you don't understand them OR will accept your ignorance and bottle up their feelings. My girl definitely falls into the first camp. So, from now on, I won't try to distract her from her hurt feelings.2. Rushing to "make it all better" -- Typical scene in my house: My daughter bumps her head, starts to cry, and I tell her that she's fine. She knows she's not fine, I know she's not fine, and yet I say it anyway. The book pointed out that doing so might inadvertently delivers the message that she needs to quickly regain composure and bottle up her feelings; that it's better to wait until she's actually fine or coming out of her angry/hurt state to tell her that she'll be fine. Otherwise, my words hold no water. Point taken, Doctor.All of these was revealed to me in the first 65 pages. The rest of the book was just OK. No big epiphanies there.

  • Lisa Wuertz
    2019-01-19 07:06

    This book has been talked up a lot by several friends. So I was really hoping I would like it and I would get some insights as our daughter started throwing full blown tantrums at 10 months old when she wouldn't get her way when it came to stuff like climbing the stairs, going in the kitchen, etc. However, being that I didn't much like Happiest Baby on the Block and found Karp's writing style annoying there, I probably should have expected the same from this book. Seriously, I think I'm going to scream if I have to sit through one more reference to cavemen! Augh! Anyway, Karp is all about preventing and redirecting bad behavior and only about punishment as a last resort. Which is what I've already been doing without much success. He's big on timeouts too which I have also tried only to be left with more drama-queen antics and tantrums. The other thing he's big on is using short sentences and small words, "toddler-ese," to communicate with them, but she still doesn't seem to get it even when I try that. So all in all this book basically told me to do the things that I've already been doing and have not been working. I'm frustrated. The end.

  • Shana
    2018-12-25 10:52

    Great starter book for understanding toddler emotions and how to respect them and handle tantrums. The only thing I didn't like about this book is the dramatization, which I find escalates the child emotions. They need us to bridge the gap from how they feel to how they can feel good again. We accept their negative feelings. We allow them to have negative feelings. But we dont have to have negative feelings with them. We can come from a place of peace, bridge the gap with empathy, and let them walk across that bridge of support when they are ready. This book recommends you say "you are REALLY REALLY mad! you are SO ANGRY!" Where as I find it helps the child to say "I hear how angry you are. I am here for you when you are ready for a hug. I am willing to listen to how you feel. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to cry." and possible even share a short story about a time you felt the same without taking away from the childs experience or taking the focus off of them. Anyway, its a quick read, but I found Raising Our Children Raising Ourselves more insightful on handling emotions, yet I recommend this one to more mainstream parents, as its easier to grasp them ROCRO, in my opinion.

  • Cheryl
    2019-01-14 02:37

    This book is absolutely BIZARRE!!!! I picked it up last week at a bookstore's going-out-of-business sale, and I have mostly just been skimming it. But I had to stop, because it was so strange! The author advocates GROWLING at your child like a dog or a bear to get him to stop misbehavior! He also advocates speaking to your child in "caveman" language when trying to stop misbehavior or tantrums. Here is an example: "Cookie! Cookie! You want cookie! Cry! Cry! Cry! Emma Cry! You want! You want! You want cookie! Noooo! Noooo! Nooo cookie!" And supposedly, your child will just instantaneously stop crying and comply because you are using this bizarre method of commuication with your child that your child will understand because it is at his level. Um, really? Not in my house! I cannot imagine *growling* at my child to discipline him, not can I imagine speaking to my child in such a way. I can think of much better ways to parent my child than treating him in such an undignified, condescending manner. Don't waste your money on this book!

  • Tracyesine
    2018-12-28 06:00

    My two star rating is based on the "it was okay" description. Yes, this book is okay. It contains some good advice about how to make a toddler feel his or her feelings have been heard, and why this is important. I appreciated the little techniques for creating a positive, encouraging vibe by letting the child overhear positive things about his/her actions, as well as the actions of others. I also agree that lengthy reasoning with an angry toddler is not productive, and will likely just further anger the toddler.What I didn't like was the lengthy focus on preventing and stopping tantrums. Certainly, I'd rather have a day full of positivity than a day full of tantrums, but a tantrum is not inherently harmful, and one of the greatest gifts a parent or caregiver can give herself is a relief from the idea that adults must become involved in tantrums. This is not to say that adults should not become involved with any expression of sadness or anger, which is not always a "tantrum," but actual tantrums are best left alone, and Dr. Karp fails to draw this distinction.

  • Shan
    2019-01-15 03:00

    While Karp has some great ideas (and a few of them even seem to work on my child), I found myself cringing often at the writing and the tone. And I particularly loathed his near-constant use of the word "primitive." It's bad enough as an adjective ("your child's primitive behavior") but so much worse as a noun ("try this technique with your little primitive!"). Ugh! I'm not sorry I read this, because his overall message makes a lot of sense -- but I didn't exactly enjoy the experience.

  • Hilary
    2019-01-07 02:36

    Some interesting ideas. I'm not sure I completely buy-in (unlike The Happiest Baby on the Block which was an incredibly helpful book) but I did try one of the techniques on a screaming, thrashing toddler this morning and it worked like a charm. (For the record, that was a combination of FFR and empathy.)

  • Courtney Judd
    2019-01-24 03:01

    Karp's first book The Happiest Baby on the Block is genius! It is seriously a life savor and his calming methods are extremely effective.This book is a dud in my opinion. It seems like more of a plea to earn more money than a genuine resource of helpful information. I found myself rolling my eyes and suffering through this book most of the time, but I took a "Don't kick it till you try it" approach since I am desperate in handling this threenager phase. I found The Fast Food Rule and Time-Ins helpful. FFR is essentially repeating back to your toddler why he is mad/upset then letting him speak his peace before you start lecturing or sharing your point of view. Time-Ins is setting several short periods of time throughout the day to give your complete focus and attention to playing with your toddler without any distractions.Mirroring your toddlers emotions is somewhat helpful. At first I didn't understand what he meant, but after taking time to observe how I mirror my toddler's reactions when he does something good or exciting it felt more natural.On the whole though I found "toddler-ese" patronizing and somewhat demeaning. Toddler-ese is talking to your child like a caveman in short repetitive phrases. An example is: "You're mad! Mad, mad, mad! Timmy wants cookie but Mommy said nooooo. No cookie. But you want it. You want it! But now it's time for dinner. No cookie until after dinner."The clap growl was weird and made my toddler angrier. Gossiping to my toddler's toys was also weird and ineffective. I didn't even try making up fairytales or role playing. In short, don't bother.

  • Gün İlke Yıldırım
    2019-01-17 07:58

    Yürümeye henüz başlamış 11 aylık bir bebek annesi olarak bu tarz kitapları okumak için tam zamanı olduğunu düşünüyorum. Yazarımız Dr.Karp da bu konuda benimle hemfikirmiş meğer. Yumurcaklar yürümeye başladığında ebeveynler için de başka bir dönem başlamış oluyor. Bu dönemi kolay atlatabilmek adına bazı püf noktalarının aklımızın bir yerinde durması hiç fena olmaz diye düşünüyorum. Kitapta, 1-4 yaş arası ön çocukluk dönemindeki yumurcakları huysuzluk anlarında sakinleştirmek, sıkıntılarını anlayarak güven vermek, dolaylı olarak da olsa istediğimiz davranışı yapmasını sağlamak amacıyla yapabileceğimiz basit uygulamalardan bahsediliyor. Her ebeveynin çocuk yetiştirirken elbette kendi yöntemleri vardır ama bazı "zor anlar" için genelgeçer şeyler denememiz gerekebilir. Dr.Karp'ın önerdiği bazı şeyleri halihazırda yapıyor olduğumu görmekten de ayrıca hoşnut oldum. Bebeği yürümeye başlayan tüm ebeveynlere tavsiye ederim. =)

  • Tiffany Huffman (perfictionist.tiff)
    2018-12-25 05:42

    Some of the concepts seem a little weird or don’t apply to my child, but a majority have been very helpful and I’ve seen a slight improvement already.This book was very helpful in helping me understand my child’s personality better, learn some great basics on proper discipline for tantrums, and how to deal with very specific life situations as well. This book covers a lot of ground in the raising-a-toddler world, and I wish I had read this earlier. :) but even with my son being in his older toddler years, this book was still extremely helpful and insightful.

  • Jillian
    2019-01-06 07:46

    Not sure this person has met a toddler.

  • Amy Bailey
    2019-01-15 07:02

    So, there is some good practical advice here, but there's also some stuff that I just don't buy. First of all, the book is a little repetitive. I remember reading another review where the reviewer said this is better suited to a pamphlet, and that's the best critique I've seen. This is pamphlet material. Most of it isn't earth-shattering. I don't see myself starting to communicate in Toddlerese. Maybe it works for others, but it's not for me. I think the silliest thing I saw was the massage time. I thought he would talk about a light, playful little massage to help you bond with your baby, some light rubbing of her arms, legs and back while we coo and play. No, get out the oil, let your toddler relax, and give them the special spa treatment. Throw in a pedicure and some martinis and we'll make it a girls' weekend! Sure... I'll make sure to set out the video camera so I can put our experience on youtube later, because that shit would go viral. It would end with me getting kicked in the nose, blood spewing everywhere, because my rambunctious toddler won't want to sit still for massage time. She's going to want me to stop with the stupid crap and let her go play. I really got some eye rolling going during that section, and then it made me laugh because I envisioned the spectacle that would ensue if I tried such a ridiculous thing. Evidently my child is what he refers to as "spirited." Like I said, some of this was helpful, so I do take away some new insights, but overall I think I'm better off just flying by the seat of my pants and hoping I don't screw my daughter up too much. That's the way my parents did it. Hmm... maybe if they had given me massages I would like them now...

  • Jamie Hergott
    2019-01-20 07:36

    I read this book because Dr. Karp's first book, Happiest Baby on the Block, saved or lives when my daughter was a baby. She was inconsolable every single evening for 2 to 3 hours before bedtime. Most people chalked it up to her having colic and told me it would get better in a few months. I picked up Happiest Baby and started implementing his 5 S's (Swaddle, Ssh, Swinging, Sucking, Side/Stomach) and it worked like a charm every single time. I was completely relived. I figured his second book would be just as helpful with my toddler. In his toddler book, Dr. Karp promotes discipline in the way of time-outs (he does not condone spanking) and insists you can empathize with a toddler who is throwing a complete tantrum. I tried his method, and it hasn't worked. Granted, I could be doing it wrong, but my daughter has more attitude than a jar full of scorpions, and probably doesn't give a rip that I mirror her actions. I am a first-time mom and still figuring out what works best as far as discipline. I'm not convinced completely his method works, however, i will give it some more time. I agree with a lot of his philosophies because he makes many of his methods appropriate for certain ages and development.

  • Scott Miles
    2018-12-31 07:59

    Karp has done it again. His first book, "The Happiest Baby on the Block", was a lifesaver. I find it interesting that many of the reviews I've read here on have praised the tactics outlined there, but ridicule and dismiss the tactics proposed in this book. After all, many people thought my wife and I were insane for going along with the "Happiest Baby" approach, but in the context of the "fourth trimester", it made perfect sense. The "caveman" characterization, seen as absurd by many reviewers, is just the right context needed to help make Karp's suggestions in "Happiest Toddler" make perfect sense. Those who refused to accept the characterization for whatever reason seem to have had trouble adopting the strategies, and now they are dissatisfied. The strategies work with our child. The book is wonderful. It is possible that Karp may need to work on his writing style to avoid losing so much of the audience of parents who could benefit greatly from his wisdom.