Read Bite Me If You Can by Lynsay Sands Online

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Once Bitten... One minute Leigh is walking home in the early hours of the morning, and the next a vampire is sinking his teeth into her neck. Turns out it was a rogue vampire marked for termination, but it does Leigh little good because the damage's already been done. She's become one of them.Lucian Argeneau, hunter of rogue vampires, has been alive for over two thousandOnce Bitten...One minute Leigh is walking home in the early hours of the morning, and the next a vampire is sinking his teeth into her neck. Turns out it was a rogue vampire marked for termination, but it does Leigh little good because the damage's already been done. She's become one of them.Lucian Argeneau, hunter of rogue vampires, has been alive for over two thousand years, and there's very little to excite him anymore. Food has become tasteless, sex is ordinary. The Leigh drops into his life. Suddenly he finds himself craving coffee...and imagining the sassy brunette atop the black satin sheets on his nice big bed. It's Lucian's job now to enlighten Leigh on the inner workings of being immortal...and tutoring her is igniting a fire in him that hasn't burned in centuries.But until they stop a renegade bloodsucker from destroying the human race, passion will have to wait!...

Title : Bite Me If You Can
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9780060774127
Format Type : Mass Market Paperback
Number of Pages : 384 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Bite Me If You Can Reviews

  • Jilly
    2019-03-03 11:35

    One of my very favorite things in books is when something or someone not human is trying to "human". If it's written correctly, it will always be funny and endearing. This story did a good job with it. Lucian is over 2,000 years old and really has no idea. He lost his humanity so long ago that he doesn't even know it's gone. Well... doesn't care. If not giving a shit was money, he'd be a billionaire. Wait, that's not my favorite analogy. Money is fine, but still. Okay, if not giving a shit was chocolate, he'd be my favorite person ever.mmmm.... chocolate....Lucian gets stuck taking care of a newbie vampire, Leigh, and he treats her like an unwanted red-headed step-child at first. He literally puts in ear plugs while she is screaming in pain so that he'll be more comfortable. He also tries to feed her dog food because he has no idea that people won't eat it. It's food, right? In other words, he's a heartless bastard. I like him.The problem is that Leigh likes Lucian and he starts to like her too. It's like his heart grew three sizes that day, ala Grinch. Well... something grew.“Are you talking to my penis?” Lucian asked with disbelief. “It talked to me first,” she said defensively, and frowned. “You didn’t mention this little skill.” Lucian decided she must be joking and laughed. “So, what did it say?” “It said, ‘Lucian? Lucian, are you there?’” He blinked. “Why would it say that?” “I don’t know. It’s your penis.”That’s when he recalled the cell phone in his pocket. Modern women.... we'll anthropomorphize everything. (Look it up)It's not like men do that. They never name their penis. That would be weird.The Penis Name Book: A Guide to Naming Man's Best FriendThat's right. There are even name books for the peen. This book has a 4.5 rating here on goodreads.Obviously, this is serious business. Also, just remember when you are thinking of writing a book and wonder if you could ever get published: someone published this. Anyway, enough penis talk. I can't believe you guys are making me talk about something so embarrassing!This book was one of the better ones of the series. There were plenty of laughs and both of the main characters were likable.

  • Shannon (Giraffe Days)
    2019-03-19 12:21

    This story centres on Lucian, the twin brother of Jean-Claude, Marguerite's deceased husband (making Lucian the uncle of Lucern etc.). He's one of the "original" immortals, and has lived for over two thousand years. He's on the Council and hunts down rogue vampires. It's while he's on the hunt for another ancient vampire, Morgan, who has started his own "nest", that he encounters Leigh. Morgan has just turned her but she hasn't yet gone through the painful process when Lucian grudgingly rescues her.He's not happy about it, though. He tries to dump her on Margeurite but she's off to Europe, leaving him at her home in Toronto with her massive mastiff Julius. He can't get any of his relatives to help him except to offer advice he doesn't want to hear, and it doesn't help that they all think Leigh is his life mate and he hasn't been laid since Alexander the Great's wedding.And on top of all that, Morgan's coming for Leigh.This is more serious in tone than some of the others in this series, but it still has moments of making me laugh out loud. Lucian, the sexy beast, is now my favourite Argeneau vampire, and I will quite happily be re-reading this one!

  • Ivana Azap Feješ
    2019-03-06 17:39

    Lucian is over 2,000 years old and really has no idea. This story centres on Lucian, the twin brother of Jean-Claude, Marguerite's deceased husband (making Lucian the uncle of Lucern etc.). He's one of the "original" immortals, and has lived for over two thousand years. He's on the Council and hunts down rogue vampires. It's while he's on the hunt for another ancient vampire, Morgan, who has started his own "nest", that he encounters Leigh. Lucian is such a tough guy but to see his character being completely lost with how to perform simple everyday tasks was endearing. There is not a lot of action to this story as it is most focused on the relationship between Lucian and Leigh. As far as a PNR goes this is a very sweet, romantic, and funny story. I love Lucian and Leigh as a couple. One, because Lucian turned out to be the marshmallow Rachell called him, of course after trying to dump the poor woman on everyone he could get his hands on. Two, Leigh wasn't the snippy crying woman you'd expect a newly turned and almost rogue vampire to be. As she is always described, she was the peaceful self all along. I love Lucian! He seems like such a tough guy from others POV and he starts out really tough. He falls for Leigh and it's hilarious. Both characters are pretty funny. In this story Lucian Argeneau meets his match in a bar owner from Kansas. The whole family gets involved to get him his HEA. Except Marguerite who is surprising absent, but in her one cameo does manage to try to play matchmaker over the phone... she just can't help herself. The story opens with Leigh Gerard walking home from work at about 5:00 in the morning. Lucian is one crusty character. Leigh was much to easy on him but as the book goes on he becomes much more human and the message that a lifemate can make a leopard change his spots came through loud and clear. I look for to his appreances in further books. I am started to warm up to LS's style of writing but admit to finding them a slow start.One of my very favorite things in books is when something or someone is not human is trying to be "human". If it's written correctly, it will always be funny and endearing. This story did a good job with it. This book had me laughing out loud. When you read the books in this series, there are no great surprises, but they do offer and light hearted pnr story. Ahhhhhh. I had a hard time putting this down. I was doing the "I will just read to the end of the chapter and then I will go clean my bathroom." and then I got to the end of the chapter and immediatly started the next chapter. “Are you talking to my penis?” Lucian asked with disbelief.“It talked to me first,” she said defensively, and frowned. “You didn’t mention this little skill.”Lucian decided she must be joking and laughed. “So, what did it say?”“It said, ‘Lucian? Lucian, are you there?’” He blinked.“Why would it say that?”“I don’t know. It’s your penis.”That’s when he recalled the cell phone in his pocket.

  • CC
    2019-03-21 19:40

    3-3.5 starsThis is my first book by this author. Plus it is the 6th book in the series. I did not feel like I missed a lot by not reading the prior books. The book was funny, but at times I felt it was trying too hard to be funny and sacrificing the character traits of the Hero (especially) in that effort. Making him at times appear to be a bumbling idiot when he was really supposed to be some badass vampire hunter. Overall it was enjoyable enough that I am going to try another later book in the Series. Safety gang safe but there is another minor trigger for a couple of people(view spoiler)[Lucian had a life mate and children 3000 years ago and they died. He has found no life mate since. But clearly you can have more than one! Wonder what happens if the first one had not died?Anyway, he loved them but it has been so long he cannot remember their faces. He just remembers loving having a family. He never says Leigh is the best but since it has been so long, it was really hard to complain. He had been celibate since Alexander the Greats wedding. So a LONG time! Heroine was not a virgin but only had an abusive ex.(hide spoiler)]

  • 1000 +
    2019-02-28 17:25

    If you've read through the first 5 books of this Series then you know that Lucian is.. well.. a grump to say the least. He is one of the oldest immortals and he is hanging on by a thread from turning Rogue like so many before him. Lucian is out hunting, hunting rogue vampires that is, when Leigh is thrown into his lap. Leigh is a bar owner who just happens to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time and has hired the wrong type of employees. The combination of the two is just incredibly funny. Lucian this big old bad ass all of a sudden in charge of handling Leighs change WITHOUT the assistance of anyone. His orginal plan was to dump her into Marguerites lap. Upon his arrival he quickly finds not only is Marguerite unavailable but every other member of the family is unvailable. There are some really hilarious scenes in this book. It was one of the funniest books of the series to date. MelissaReviewer for 1000 + Books to Read

  • Liz Meldon
    2019-03-17 12:23

    Yeesh. 2.5 stars for me.What I liked:- the humor. I thought there were some really genuinely funny moments throughout the book. The author had a great voice and knew how to embarrass her characters.- that the story featured one of my favourite romance tropes: grumpy old immortal has hard exterior chipped away at by the love of his life, and then jk he's actually a softy.What I didn't like:- the fact that about two thirds of the whole book was basically a giant info-dump about this world's vampires, how nanos make them perfect, and Atlantis. It went on FOREVER after Leigh finally stopped changing.- the fact that the Big Bad was defeated in like three pages of the climax starting.- yeah, mostly just the insane amount of info-dumping. It kind of works for someone who hasn't read the other books in the series (like me -- but even I got tired of it), but it must have been mindnumbingly boring if you've read the first five books and know the lore alreadyBasically, this book felt like filler to me. I liked Lucian and Leigh, but I didn't feel like I had enough time to see them develop as a couple, and this was in a full. length. book. So, yeah. Bit of a shoulder-shrugger for me. I WOULD be interested in reading more from the series, provided all the info-dumping isn't something that happens in every book.

  • Minx -The Genre Minx Book Reviews
    2019-03-05 11:41

    I am a fan of Lynsay Sands and an even bigger fan of her Argeneau series! This book in particular had me laughing out loud. Lucian is such a tough guy but to see his character being completely lost with how to perform simple everyday tasks was endearing. There is not a lot of action to this story as it is most focused on the relationship between Lucian and Leigh. As far as a PNR goes this is a very sweet, romantic, and funny story. I highly recommend.

  • Dianne
    2019-02-20 13:16

    While this book was not my favorite book of the series I found that if you can manage to make it past about 10 or 15% of the book it does quickly redeem itself. I did love seeing the uber strict and straight as an arrow, Immortal Enforcer Lucian, get his comeuppance when he meets his second life mate and he has to help her while she makes the change.It was a good story but as I said the first part was a bit boring in that it was all about Leighs change and how it affected Lucian.The rest of the book is typical of Ms Sands in that the bulk of the story is on these two learning about each others foibles, the Immortal learning to live in the 'human' world again and realizing that just because one lives many hundreds of centuries, doesn't make them perfect.It was fun seeing the stick-up-the-butt Lucian coming to terms with the fact that Leigh is his life-mate, re-learning to eat, and finding his sense of humor again. He was an extremely well-written character, and even though this is fiction you can almost beleive that he is just a real and regular guy. I appreciated the fact that Leigh was one of the more easy going women in this series and excepted her fate without much angst.All in all a good but not great addition to the series.

  • Kinga
    2019-02-27 17:38

    I love Lucian and Leigh as a couple. One, because Lucian turned out to be the marshmallow Rachell called him, of course after trying to dump the poor woman on everyone he could get his hands on. Two, Leigh wasn't the snippy crying woman you'd expect a newly turned and almost rogue vampire to be. As she is always described, she was he peaceful self all along. And perhaps that's what makes her perfect for Lucian. Him being the enforcer and oldest and cruelst, he needs a little peace and smiles and all those in his home. And she can kick ass. Bonus points.

  • Crystal De Los Santos
    2019-02-28 19:43

    Irealy enjoyed this book!!!! it was funny and Lucian became my favorite male character..... he is so protective of his family and you'll find out why... Since he is an older vamp he is able to block his thoughts but when he meets his lifemate he lets loose and the family attacks his thougths TOO FUNNY... I WOULD READY THIS AGAIN

  • Cathy
    2019-03-11 12:34

    Another consistent entry in the series, an enjoyable vampire romance with lots of humor and good characters. All of her books in this series seem the same, following a proven formula.

  • Jacqueline
    2019-03-12 11:26

    I've read the entire Argeneau series but this is the first one I read and my favorite. I'm not real fond of vampire stories usually but the vampires here are not the undead kind so okay. Another reason I went ahead and read it the first time is that it starts out in the Kansas City area where I live. Even though the KC geography is pretty wonky and full of mistakes it still gives me an affection for the book. For example if you just say Kansas City then you mean Kansas City, Missouri not Kansas City, Kansas. The major city is in MO. If you're talking about the smaller spill over city in Kansas, locals say Kansas City, Kansas or KCK to differentiate. And if you're walking from downtown KC (and downtown is always assumed to mean the Missouri city unless another city is specifically specified) then you're not going to walk to Kansas since you'd have a long walk across the Kaw river on one of the interstate bridges. There are a few other geographical mistakes but enough about that.I really liked Lucien. I found his character to be charming since I always like alpha guys who are unsure of themselves around the woman they fall for. He wants very much to do right by her. The heroine, Leigh, is a very strong character who takes her new situation in stride rather than freaking out. Great secondary characters and solid plot. Funny in places. Light hearted in most. Not full of angst and anguish. Well written.Very good series that I recommend to all my bookstore customers.

  • Jess
    2019-02-18 14:26

    This was the Argeneau book I was waiting for! Lucian is my absolute favorite of the Argeneau family. Certainly there is a level of trepidation going into a book when it's centered on your favorite character. Questions like, will the author do it justice, will I love it, what if I hate it, run through your mind before you read it. Well this book taught me very quickly to shut my mind up and trust in Lynsay Sands because damn can she write. She gives Lucian the precisely the partner his character needed and their story is one that has you giggling, yelling, and shaking your head at the pair as they overcome their individual and shared problems to embrace what the other can give them. Simply fantastic!

  • Eskimo Princess Jenkins
    2019-02-18 13:35

    OMG I couldn't put this book down. I had stop stop practically everything else so I could read this. The book consumed me!!!! Then again most of the books in this series are awesomeMan Lucian really was a hard ass. I have been reading this series all out of order. So I loved being able to go back and see the "old" Lucian.I just can't say enough good things about this book

  • Adaiah
    2019-03-03 13:40

    I adore, Lucian Argeneau, hunter of rogue vampires, and his abrasive personality. Lucian lost his lifemate, and daughters when the destruction of Atlantis happen. A thousand, and more years later, Lucian get's a second chance at love, and having a modern day lifemate. It was so nice to see Lucian, and Liv find there way to each other.

  • Asounani
    2019-02-21 15:36

    I really loveeeeee this Story because of Lucian its sooo lovely and funny. The History its really light and thats good.*Edith*Realmente me gusta esta pareja Luican es adorabley aunque en este moento leo el #21 tenia que volver y leer la historia de Lucian a pasado mucho tiempo!!

  • Fatima Miranda
    2019-02-24 16:44

    so fun and it makes you laugh yet fast paced

  • Lana
    2019-03-03 15:41

    I love Lucian!

  • Christa
    2019-03-11 13:19

    This books followed Lucien. He seems like such a tough guy from others POV and he starts out really tough. He falls for Leigh and it's hilarious. Both characters are pretty funny. Lucien does not know how to be human and Leigh doesn't know how to be immortal. Their misunderstanding are fun to read.

  • Samantha wickedshizuku Tolleson
    2019-03-11 13:37

    This book and I are not getting off to a very good start. I am increasingly more and more angry the further I'm getting into this series. Some of the awkward moments are a little funny, but there isn't much differentiation between the couples. The main scheme is just so recycled between many paranormal romance series.

  • Tara
    2019-02-27 18:36

    When you read the books in this series, there are no great surprises, but they do offer and light hearted pnr story. In this story Lucian Argeneau meets his match in a bar owner from Kansas. The whole family gets involved to get him his HEA. Except Marguerite who is surprising absent, but in her one cameo does manage to try to play matchmaker over the phone... she just can't help herself. There was no follow up with Vincent and Jackie, but maybe in the next one. And Bastien and Terri are still planning their wedding. I'm so far enjoying this series. There is at least once in every book that I just laugh out loud at something. I'm glad I made it past the first one!

  • Caro
    2019-03-12 16:32

    A super great read. I loved the characters and the dialog in this book. There was plenty to shock, laugh at, hold your breath, snicker, and sigh. Another great Argeneau book that draws you in and doesn't let go. I definitely lost track of time and was reading until the first rays of dawn and ready for more when it ended. This had plenty of humor, some suspense, strength, courage, great scenes and personalities, and a good HEA. I really enjoyed reading this and the situations that Lucian (of all people) found himself in. Another book for the shelf, completely Enjoy...and On To The Next...!!!

  • Nichole (DirrtyH)
    2019-03-20 13:37

    No joke - I read the first two chapters to get a feel for who the characters were and what the story was, then flipped to the end and read the last 5 or 6 chapters to get the resolution. I read nothing in between, and didn't feel like I'd missed a thing.These books are really fluffy and predictable. If you like your books a little lighter and more on the fun/funny side (think chick-lit with vampires), then these books are for you. But I prefer something a little darker, with a bit more substance, more "bite" if you will (pun intended.)

  • Tabitha Murray
    2019-02-22 11:41

    Yes,yes I know it's one of 'those' books but it was really good and it really was good at keeping me waiting nervously and anxiously,I could almost feel what the characters had felt except for at 'those' points....I'm not one for 'that' genre but it was a vampire book and it was really good.My friend Jen recommended it too me so I think you may enjoy it as well.

  • ~nikki the recovering book addict
    2019-02-22 12:17

    Oh dear Lord.. It was so funny!!! I was chuckling every few pages! I love grouchy Lucian. He's hilarious! I think grouchy men have the best one liners... LOL!The best part was at the end of chapter 19... The part where Leigh was talking to Lucian's penis.. Too funny!!!

  • Stephanie
    2019-02-25 11:29

    The best of the series by far!Lucian was not the vamp that Sands leads you to believe he is in the beginning of the series. This book is a little more serious then the rest of them. I liked it more for that reason, so apparently I don't like campy vamp books....

  • Megan
    2019-02-19 13:37

    My favorite from Lynsay Sands' vampire romance series. I just loved the hero! A vampire who is REALLY old, never thought that he'd find love, let alone with a pretty newly turned vamp!

  • Samantha (Book Lover's Cozy Cafe)
    2019-02-26 13:24

    oh my goodness this book has got to be my most favorite out of the series I laughed so hard I ended up having coughing fits at times.

  • Laura
    2019-03-21 12:20

    Bite Me If You Can (Argeneau #6) will show the reader why Lynsay Sands is one of the best authors' writing paranormal/mystery romance today. "Bite Me If You Can" tells the love story of Lucian and Leigh. Lucian is a rogue hunter and the matriarch of the Argeneau family. They meet when him, Bricker and Mortimer have tracked down a rogue vampire named Morgan and his side-kick Donny in Kansas City. On that night Leigh is is attacked by Morgan with help from a every naive Donny, who was also turned by Morgan awhile back. Leigh and Lucian both have their own baggage, her getting over an abusive relationship and he has to relax and open-up after begin alone for thousand of year's. If you enjoy Lynsay Sands (books) don't forget the Argeneau family series.

  • Francais Parker
    2019-02-22 18:23

    World-building: AMythology: B+Suspense: B+Plot-Twists: BGirl Power: B+Guy Hero: A-Love Interests: AFeels: A-For you clean-readers: this one DOES have mature content. Some scene-skipping/self-editing will be needed to read this one.