Read I Love You, Beth Cooper by Larry Doyle Online

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Denis Cooverman wanted to say something really important in his high school graduation speech. So, in front of his 512 classmates adn their 3,000 relatives, he announced: "I love you Beth Cooper." It could have been such a sweet, romantic momemtn. Except that Beth, the head cheerleader, has only the vaguest idea who Denis is. And Denis, the captain of the debate team, is sDenis Cooverman wanted to say something really important in his high school graduation speech. So, in front of his 512 classmates adn their 3,000 relatives, he announced: "I love you Beth Cooper." It could have been such a sweet, romantic momemtn. Except that Beth, the head cheerleader, has only the vaguest idea who Denis is. And Denis, the captain of the debate team, is so far out of her league he is barely even the same species. And Kevin, Beth's remarkably large boyfriend, is in town on furlough from the United States Army. Complications Ensue....

Title : I Love You, Beth Cooper
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9780061744853
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 275 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

I Love You, Beth Cooper Reviews

  • Greg
    2019-03-04 00:53

    The reason I don't read 'thrillers' or 'action' books is that I don't see them as being much different from their movie form. I don't feel like I get anything more out of the book than a movie version, and I'd rather save myself some hours and just watch a movie if that is the kind of entertainment I want. This book falls into a newly created category derived from the above. If I want to see a whacky teen comedy, I'll watch the movie instead of reading the book. The book is pretty self-aware that it is in the teen movie genre, and even makes nods to classic teen movies with quotes at the start of each chapter. The book also shows how it believes it is different by escaping the cliches of teen movies, but really it doesn't escape them. It stays really firmly in them, and there isn't much here that anyone who has seen a healthy dose of teen movies would be surprised by. But don't books do better things better than movies? Yes, yes they do. This book doesn't though. This is sort of the equivalent of American Pie, minus the pie fucking, but adding some lesbian sex via hostess snack cakes. It's not nearly as enduring as Can't Hardly Wait, Say Anything, or captures high school loserdom in the way that Freaks and Geeks did. I had no real connection to any of the characters, I didn't really care if the geek got the girl, nor really got what was so great about the girl. Some of the jokes were pretty funny, and there was a ridiculous absurdity that worked well for skewing high school stereotypes in a humorous way, but not in a way that I didn't feel like I'd already experienced many times before. The author also goes after cultural silliness, but he does it in an awkward way, mixing fictional bands and products with real ones, and after awhile he just comes across like an old dude who is looking to attack what kids of today like (which granted may be pretty stupid, but I don't know if they are much dumber than the things teens liked in the 1990's, or 1980's, or 1970's...). If one is inclined to read this I'd suggest renting any of the above mentioned movies and watch that instead. Maybe watch the movie version of this, I have no idea if it is any good, but you'll probably get about as much enjoyment out of it, and save yourself a few hours.

  • Jen
    2019-02-20 02:37

    It started off promising... really, it did. I'll admit it, I was a nerd in high school, so I can relate to Denis Cooverman a little bit. He uses his time at the podium during his high school graduation ceremony (valedictorian, of course) to criticize some of his classmates before professing his love for popular girl Beth Cooper. The promising beginning didn't really go anywhere, unfortunately. Denis, who was repeatedly beaten up and made fun of during his school career, continues to be beaten up and made fun of for the rest of the book. The characters are cardboard cutouts of themselves-- the nerdy kid, the gay kid, the popular girl, the slut, the meathead boyfriend, and any other stereotypical teen comedy figure you can think of.I wanted to give up on this one, but plodded through to the end on the off chance that it might get better. It didn't.

  • EAK
    2019-03-09 23:47

    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT READ THIS BOOK! I am ashamed to admit that I suggested that my book club read this book as "a fun, summer read," since we seemed to be reading a lot of depressing books lately. I assumed that it would be a high school dork story in the vein of Freaks and Geeks. Instead, it was one of the worst books I have ever read. Yes, I gave it ZERO stars. And Larry Doyle, if you are reading this review, please contact me so I can give you my address so you can write me a check for the cost of the book. Why oh why did I not practice what I preach and just borrow it from a library?Anyway, the only way I can describe this book is if you found the horniest junior high student on the planet, forced him to watch every cliched teen movie that was produced in the past 30 years, then forced him to watch a 3-day marathon of The Three Stooges, and then let him spill his guts about his every sexual fantasy, well, this is the book he would write. This book includes, but is not limited to, the following madcap "hilarity": a main character who is so brutally beaten throughout the course of the book that it would be impossible for him to survive, a naked co-ed shower scene, a threesome scene, a party scene where a Hummer crashes through the house, countless vomiting incidents, and about 15 chapters involving drunk driving.Hilarious, indeed.

  • Selene Matheson
    2019-03-15 05:48

    2.5 Stars

  • Maggie
    2019-02-19 02:38

    When I read this book, I had no idea that the author, first-time novelist Larry Doyle, was an established television writer, with writing credits for "Daria," "Beavis and Butthead," and "The Simpsons," but I easily could have guessed. I Love You, Beth Cooper has the frantic pace and zany, unrealistic plot points that are necessary to keeping a television audience (especially the youthful ones of the aforementioned shows) interested for the whole half-hour. It is full to bursting with cliches of high school and suburbia and the scenes all feel like they are cut and pasted from less than average teen movies, but damn it, it works. This novel reads like a movie; if all the creative people behind Superbad could merge into one and create a novel, this would be that novel. The humor is very similar, and I think it works even better on the page. Indeed, the laughs-per-page ratio found in Beth Cooper is one of the highest I've ever encountered (I suppose the only close competition here would be America: The Book and Good Omens).Like Superbad, the main thrust of the action in I Love You, Beth Cooper takes place within a single evening in the lives of a pair of geeky high school boys. Denis and Rich have just graduated from a suburban high school in Illinois and are making a lame attempt to make the most of their graduation night after Denis's extremely unconventional valedictorian speech: in "the stilted manner of adolescent public speakers throughout history," Denis Cooverman stood in front of the entire assembled audience and declared his love for hyper-popular, uber-pretty, head-cheerleading Beth Cooper, the blond goddess who has sat in front of him in alphabetical order for a dozen years of public education.Shortly after, Denis and Rich are the only guests at Denis's graduation party (the first of two teenage parties featuring alcohol and totally unsupervised: this one is a nice twist as the only alcohol is a warm bottle of champagne left by Denis's parents for a bit of modest celebration). The pair are stunned when unlikely plot point no. 1 brings Beth and her interchangeable best friends to Denis's house. The mishaps and the cliches escalate at an exponential rate as Beth drags Denis into her party girl lifestyle for the evening. A second house party (this one with copious amounts of alcohol and, again, no parental supervision), an angry and extremely violent boyfriend, a cabin in the woods, a shower scene, a chase, a heroic rescue, multiple fist fights and a few brushes with death leave Denis completely disillusioned; the girl he has idealized for his entire adolescence is nothing more than human, and very flawed at that. This is a girl who comes only a hair's breadth from performing sex acts to get alcohol, a girl who sleeps around, a girl who hasn't planned for her future, a girl who is, in all likelihood, already past her peak.I Love You, Beth Cooper is, in a lot of ways, a sad story about growing up and the changes that everyone faces in that time surrounding high school graduation; the extended adolescence provided by American culture is over and the real world beckons. It's this juxtaposition of innocence and maturity that provides such a wealth of material for all of the many, many books and movies and television shows centered on it. Beth Cooper, for all of its emotional heft, is still primarily a screamingly funny and excessively entertaining read; it would be a mistake to pass it by, especially if your memories of high school graduation are still fresh.

  • Michael
    2019-03-05 03:53

    During his speech as high school valedictorian, Denis Coverman strays from his agreed upon script, taking a moment to get some things off his chest and call out certain members of the student body who have made his life miserable for the past four years. And he also takes a moment to let his secret crush, Beth Cooper, popular cheerleader, know that he loves her.That's a hell of a hook and author Larry Doyle really makes work. The initial portions of the novel are laugh out loud funny, including the vengeful janitor locking all the doors to the auditorium so everyone will have to suffer from the heat and the principal's thoughts on the duties he'll have to perform to make up for. The novel even goes well as Denis encounters Beth after the speech and invites her to his after-graduation party---which consists of himself and his best friend who may or may not be gay. The novel hums along at a good pace for the first 50 or so pages, making some wry observations, introducing some funny moments and having a lot of fun with the premise. But it's once Beth and her crew show up at Denis's house for the party that things begin to derail a bit and the book descends into your normal "greatest night of a young teenage life" type of story. Beth has a jealous boyfriend who wants to beat the tar out of Denis, the gang goes on a crosstown epic adventure and there's the requisite romantic tension between the two leads. Doyle works hard in the last three quarters of the novel to sustain what he had when the novel started, but the book really kind of peters out toward the end, becoming little more than a lot of cliches that we've seen in other teen angst movies.

  • Jason Hough
    2019-03-17 01:49

    This book is all about making you laugh. The story is shallow, as are most of the characters.While there were probably more moments in this that made me laugh aloud than any book since Hitchhikers Guide, it completely lacked any of the emotional or philosophical satisfaction Hitchhikers brought.And, in an odd way, it's almost too funny. It's like the author kept going back and trying to make sure every single sentence had a joke in it. In that sense, although there are plenty of extremely funny moments, it's quite exhausting to read. Too many beats, no build-up and payoff.Another problem I had is that much of the comedy is a result of things being so over-the-top as to lose its basis in reality, which was off putting for something set in a modern day, realistic environment.So, overall there are laughs-a-plenty, but ultimately I didn't feel satisfied. The frosting on a cake might be delicious, but you want the cake to be good, too.

  • Kate
    2019-03-06 22:30

    I wanted to read this book before seeing the movie and I'm glad I did (not because I've seen the movie yet and am making comparisons, but because I can't imagine the movie can translate half the humor of this book).Denis Cooverman, aka "The Coove", aka "The Penis", decides that his valedictorian speech at his high school graduation is the perfect time to announce that he is in love with Beth Cooper, the head cheerleader, in addition to insulting several of his classmates. To his surprise, Beth approaches him at the reception and he invites her to a party. While sitting at home alone with his friend Rich Munsch, aka "Dick Munch", Denis is again surprised when Beth does show up to his "party" with two of her friends, shortly thereafter followed by her pissed off army boyfriend and two of his crones. What follows is a long night of getting drunk, beat up, nearly arrested, and sex, making this the best night of his life.The cast of characters is huge and hilarious and I found myself enjoying all of them, even though most had very few redeeming qualities: Rich with his habit of citing every movie quotation, Treece's involuntary whorishness, Denis's penchant for quoting facts. The action was over the top and Denis's face goes from a black eye to completely messed up. The epilogue is inconclusive; this isn't a romance, but I liked that Denis got to know the real Beth Cooper and liked her just as much as his fantasy Beth Cooper. 8/15/11 - A Note About the MovieI would give the movie 3 stars. The humor of the book borders between raunchy and nerdy, and the movie seriously downgrades the raunchy and misses most of the nerdy (since most of the nerdy humor occurs in the book's descriptions and Denis's thoughts). That being said, I think the movie was cast perfectly and it followed the book very closely.

  • Rosa
    2019-03-07 03:48

    Stopped reading this when I was already over halfway through, with less than 100 pages to go, something I Never do. I just kept thinking it'd get better, then I came on Goodreads to see numerous people had finished the book with similar hopes that were eventually dashed, and decided I'd sidestep the waste of my time. Incredibly tedious - 2-dimensional characterizations, deathly slow-moving plot (but with numerous unnecessarily over-the-top contrivances), highly annoying narrative style (one which attempts to convey a usually not-very-funny joke with Every Single Sentence). There are criminally underappreciated nerds who deserved mass adulation by those who surrounded them (Max Fischer of Rushmore, the kids from Freaks and Geeks), and then there are nerds who within a few minutes of talking, you think (even as a nerd yourself who believes it profoundly unjust to point fingers), "Ah, that's why nobody wants to be around you" - this book is that second category of nerd.

  • Jenny Rebecca
    2019-03-05 01:28

    WHAT HAPPENED?!! I wanna know what happened at the end of the summer. Darn you Larry Doyle! This book was fun. More laughs, more good story. I want to know what happens next!

  • Scott
    2019-03-01 06:47

    Sometimes there's nothing better when that used book sale purchase - admittedly one I did not give much thought to at the time - turns out to be a diamond in the rough. You know - low cost / low expectation, right? I Love You, Beth Cooper is like a print version of an exceptional 80's or 90's teen comedy movie (the ones that had just the right balance of humor and heart in the mix). Buffalo Grove High's Class of '07 valedictorian Denis Cooverman blurts out his infatuation regarding the popular and beautiful head cheerleader during his graduation speech. That admission then kick-starts the most eventful night of his young life. A lot of craziness, raunchiness, and drunkenness ensues with Denis stuck in the middle of it. He thinks he loves Beth Cooper. I know I loved this book.

  • Sawyer Hintz
    2019-03-07 04:56

    Personal Response:I enjoyed this book very much. It was very cleverly written and filled with jokes. The author did a very good job capturing the emotions of the characters.Plot Summary:Denis, the main character, tells a girl named Beth that he loves her. But that girl happens to have a boyfriend who is in the military. The rest of the book is spent by Denis, his best friend, and Beth, and her friends trying to escape Beth's boyfriend and his crazy army friends. They have several close encounters along the way, but always narrowly escape. But once Kevin catches up with Denis, Denis nearly kills him. Denis knocked him unconscious into the water, but saves him instead. Beth and Kevin break up and Denis promises to marry Beth at the 10-year reunion of their high-school.Characterization:Denis is the main character and is extremely smart, but just as awkward. He was the valedictorian of his class. He was in love with a girl named Beth Cooper, who was way out of his league. Sometimes he can be pretty charming and witty, but mostly just makes a fool of himself.Rich is Denis´s best friend and loves movies. He can quote almost every movie ever made. He is a lot more charming and smoother than Denis. Recommendation:I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys witty and clever stories. There is swearing, drinking, and other mature themes and parts in it, so I wouldn't recommend this for any young readers. But overall it was a very enjoyable book that would be enjoyed by the right audience.

  • Cindy
    2019-03-08 02:54

    Silly, ridiculous, irreverent, zany, shallow, stupid. And guess what?.,,,this book cracked me up! Never saw the movie, never will and I don't care that the reviews were not the best on GR. This coming-of-age story set on graduation night from high school made me laugh and laughter is a good thing!

  • Michael Araujo
    2019-02-19 02:41

    I’m not really a jock. Actually, it’s more like I do no sports at all. Except running. Only away from psycho boyfriends of hot girls, but that only comes later. I’m more or less a geek. Still, pretty much a nobody.But, it’s my High School graduation and that won’t matter because I’ll be going to College and won’t see any of these people again until our High School reunion. Right? About that, one little problem. I kind of messed up. You see there’s this hot girl who is head cheerleader in my class called Beth Cooper, and as I was giving my speech because I’m valedictorian for my class, of course, I kind of blurted out a word or two. In front of every student and their families. Something along the lines of, “I love you, Beth Cooper.”That’s exactly what happened to Denis Cooverman in this hilarious novel. Poor little Denis. After that one, teeny tiny sentence, his whole life turned upside-down. Not only does he get to hang out with the hottest girl of his class and her two friends, but he’s doing things he’s never done before. Drinking, driving, going to parties, and running away from Beth’s military boyfriend who wants to kill him. Literally. And! This is all during what his parents think is a small get together at their house. (They are off doing something we shall not want to know in a car in the middle of the road that Denis, Beth and their friends hit in the middle of their adventure.) What a mouthful, but it completely makes him a badass.For those of you who think this novel is just another teen hormonal adventure, you’re completely right. This is exactly what teens today feel like. And it’s not about the hot people. It’s about us geeks out there who are basically in love with the most beautiful girl and how we would do anything to get with them. The best part of this novel, is that it shows that geeks have a chance. That you don’t have to be good looking to find love. That a persons mind will change as they see brains over beauty. I pretty much felt like I was in Denis’ shoes half the time. Mind you I don’t have any problems with the ladies, but I do feel like I could be better at times. And when I finished this it actually made me feel like I was much better than what I made myself be.Though it’s from a guys point of view, even girls can relate to this. It digs deep into the world of popularity from a nobody’s eyes. It makes the beauties and the brains look at one another for the first time. Like putting them in the same room. It makes us all think what would happen if we were on the other side. And the ending of this novel makes us really see what is right and what is wrong.Denis Cooverman has started a revolution that will always keep thriving. Kudos, my geeky friend. You shall always be a badass, popular kid to me.

  • Tintin
    2019-02-23 03:33

    I have no doubt that Larry Doyle can be a humorous writer (how else could he have credits in Beavis and Butthead and The Simpsons?), but he has no business writing a novel and should have stuck to writing for the screen.Maybe saying 'no business' is too harsh. Let me rephrase: he should have honed his novel-writing first and not just ported his script to the novel format, bugs and all.It may not look it but my favorite genre is comedy and I Love You Beth Cooper being tagged as a romance-comedy (romance being another favorite), it should have been easy to please me. A story only has to make me laugh with mirth a few times and I'll gladly give it a four star rating. Instead all I got was a big disappointment.The plot involves nerdy, geeky Denis Cooverman, high school valedictorian, and his unrequited love for the hot and popular cheerleader Beth Cooper. It's like a John Green plot with zany turns and crazier characters. Only John Green writes about nerdy boys ten times better.The first thing that disconcerted me within the first few pages is the writing style. Full of noticeable scene transitions (with the first words of each new scene in comic book font), sudden flashbacks, detailed mental mental movies and even an actual sitcom-style script complete with song references for background music, it reads like like a big fat screenplay jammed into an 8 oz. coke bottle of a novel. The 3rd-person omniscient POV prevents any self-identification and feels like a camera changing shots and panning across the screen.Even the characters come straight from a bad sitcom or cartoon: they're one-dimensional, unsympathetic, and unlikeable. High school is one big cliche. Developments are exaggerated and over-the-top unrealistic, which is why I think Doyle's brand of slapstick comedy would work better on a visual medium (cartoon, comic book, film, television). All the absurd antics, beatings, and humiliation are supposed to be humorous, but I found them too unfunny.Feeling no commitment at all to the characters or story, I dropped it a third of the way through and only forced myself to finish last weekend. Characters finally begin to show some depth at the last quarter of the book, but by then I was far too removed to care.One star for the occasional laugh, another for the belated gain of depth and the high note ending. A generous 2 stars.

  • Ben Babcock
    2019-02-25 02:57

    I finished this book in three hours. From page one, Larry Doyle creates an eerily familiar depiction of high school, specifically that moment when you look back during your graduation and realize you're finally free and have your whole life ahead of you--and it's scary.Doyle's wit sets us off on a one-night odyssey that originates from the single question, "What if, instead of delivering an average graduation speech, the valedictorian head of the debate team confesses his love for the head cheerleader? What happens then?" Such a question has many answers, so Doyle takes a fresh path.This is a book that reads like a movie. It's epic and cinematic and paced like it has scenes rather than chapters. Doyle smartly confines himself to a single night (with a short epilogue) and, with a few digressions, a single storyline. I've tried watching Superbad twice and couldn't get through it. This book succeeded for me where Superbad failed because, unlike that movie, this book employs an intelligent, honest-because-it-hurts sort of humour. Each sentence jabs at one's brain, dredging up specific memories of youth and high school.I Love You, Beth Cooper could be, at first glance, a typical coming-of-age story about the nerdy smart guy who falls for the popular cheerleader (or for his construction of who the popular cheerleader is). To some extent, it is such a story. But it's not only such a story, and that isn't the aspect of this story that makes it awesome. Rather, it's the fact that in spite of employing such a major trope, the story is never trite, and it never tries to force a redeeming theme on the reader. Instead, anything and everything that could possibly go wrong for the protagonist does. And when things go right, they don't always go right in the way one would expect.If you're seeking some sort of original umbrella wisdom on the truth about graduating high school and entering the world of adulthood, your mileage may vary with this book. But if you just want to be entertained, then I'll agree with Dave Barry's review: "I'm not saying it will make you laugh out loud. But I am saying that if it doesn't, something is wrong with you."

  • Devin Bruce
    2019-02-16 02:46

    On the day of his high school graduation, debate captain Denis Cooverman makes his valedictorian speech. He stands up in front of the podium, and it starts off typical and boring enough. Until he says the following five words: "I love you, Beth Cooper." This declaration of love for the head cheerleader - as well as a few other choice statements - stuns the crowd, and sets into motion a series of events that turns Graduation Night into the craziest, most dangerous, and exhilirating night of Denis' life.I Love You, Beth Cooper is clever, shocking, and unbelievably funny. Larry Doyle, former writer and producer for The Simpsons, has created a romp of Ferris Bueller proportions, except that I actually liked this book and didn't like Ferris Bueller, and also that Ferris was decidedly cool and Denis is decidedly not. Sure, the story is unbelievable and ridiculous, but it's a great comedy with awesome wordplay and situations that most high school kids only dream about (sometimes in their nightmares). And the illustrations that lead off each chapter (by Evan Dorkin, one of my favourite cartoonists) are a great touch: they set the mood for each new part of the evening, with Denis' face adorned with some new wound or facial expression.I Love You, Beth Cooper is a quick read, and as soon as I was done I wanted to talk about it with someone else, any one of my friends who was an outcast in high school like me. Some people might get turned off by the pop culture references that they might not get, but I didn't really care about them. I had a problem with the final chapter, which I feel softened the impact of the rest of the book a little, but otherwise I have no problem recommending it.

  • Staci
    2019-02-17 22:34

    Honestly, reading this book is like jumping on a roller coaster, forgetting to buckle your seatbelt, and you didn't have enough time to pull the bar down. So now you're flying all over the place, screaming your damn head off, swooping over the hills, feeling like you're going to throw up, ducking your head so you don't get decapitated, and then finally you pull back into the station, look at your partner that rode next to you and say..."Dude, that was one freakin' awesome ride. Let's do it again!!!!!!"It's a mixture of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Porky's, American Pie, and whatever coming-of-age movie you can think of. I had a great time reading this book and totally loved the pictures of Denis at the start of each chapter. As you work you're way through the book, his face gets a little bit worse for wear. But in the end he clearly feels that the best time he ever had in high school was this one single night!! If you're looking for a fun YA book to read then I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this to you, but it won't change your world like, say, a John Green book would, but you will laugh and you just might see a trace of your "teen self" in some of these characters and their experiences!!I leave you with a funny passage that made me laugh: Denis took a calcaneus to the temple. He staggered backward into a corner, trapped. So this was it: boned to death in his own room. Not exactly the tragedy he had always dreamed about. He thought of his mother finding his bloody pulped remains, and then he thought of that copy of Celebrity Sleuth: Women of Fantasy 15 on the floor, lying open to topless shots of Kristanna Loken, the Terminatrix. Embarrassing. If he had time, he would try to eat the magazine before he died. p.87

  • Glen Moss
    2019-03-15 23:49

    I am the first to admit that I am a Simpsons junkie, so whenever I find out that a writer from the show writes a book, I usually go out and find it. That is the case with Larry Doyle's: I love You Beth Cooper. This does pain me to say it but the book starts with a train wreck and does not improve from there. The basic story is this, one unpopular boy who pined after a girl for all his high school years decides to announce his love for her during his Valedictorian speech. This just opens the story to one uncomfortable social situation after another. In fact, that is pretty much is the entire depth of the story. The actual plot is that the main character is supposed to grow by coming out of his socially insecure shell. The problem, the events that occur would put a normal person into a complete mental breakdown with long years of therapy in an attempt to recover. It is just not believable and the reader will typically cringe at the events instead of laugh. There is a slight twist to the ending but in many ways it compares to a root canal because the reader just wants it to end.For the people who are not fans of the written word, this book will be released as a movie this summer and the reason why I am writing this review. I saw the first preview and from that it appears that the flick is going to be pretty close to the book. Needless to say, there is little chance I will be seen at the multiplex.

  • Scott Benjamin
    2019-03-03 04:37

    The beginning of this book has some of the funniest writing I have seen in a very long time. Although, as I noted to my friend, Amy, some of the humor might be lost on someone who was never an adolescent boy.The middle does kind of drag on a bit, as the "main character constantly getting the crap kicked out of him" theme gets a bit overplayed. But it does end nicely.I think every guy, at some point in high school, had a Beth Cooper. That's why it is so funny.Mine was Christina Bianchi. But, instead of owning up to my huge crush like the main charagter does here, I did what most p*ssies in high school do - never say anything. There was one opportunity, later in college. She and I were at a formal dance. There had been overt flirting the entire evening. Then she asked me to dance (I think some slow Bon Jovi song was playing - l.a.m.e.). Anyway, for reasons that still escape me, I declined the offer. I remained a p*ssy, even 4 years later.My only comfort... I saw her again 3 years later, and she had BALLOONED. Big girl. Ate waaayyy too much pizza, or something. Truly, a shame. But she's a nice girl (obliged to say that).Dodged a bullet, I did.

  • Kristy
    2019-03-02 04:57

    Well, I can guarantee that if you read this book you will1. Laugh2. Smile3. CringeLarry Doyle writes and understands geekdom at it's finest. Denis "The Penis" Cooverman is the smart kid, the Valedictorian. He also is in love with a girl he's hardley talked to, Beth Cooper. She appears to be this All-American, cheerleader, happy, easy-going girl. "The Coove" decides to proclaim his love for her in his Graduation speech which turns into a wild night spent with Beth, her friends and his friend Rich. Beth turns out to be a ruanchy, wild, impulsive crazy girl. She becomes real. Denis discovers his manhood and faces his fears. It's a pretty wild night.Bottom line: This is fun. It's giggle worthy. It's a make you smile sort of book. 3.5 starsAlso, I have to point out how close the movie followed this book. I'm going to have to re-watch asap, but I can't think of anything that was different.I also have to say that I enjoyed reading the book moreso than watching the movie.... big suprise there (sarcasm)The movie comes across way more teeny-bopper and main stream than the book.

  • Trin
    2019-03-17 05:33

    Rather than deliver the usual platitudes, dorky Denis decides to lay some honesty on his high school graduating class during his valedictorian speech. Among other things, this involves outing his best friend and declaring his love for head cheerleader Beth Cooper—who unfortunately has no idea who he is. What follows is pretty much a lesser Judd Apatow movie in book form. There is Zaniness. And Shenanigans. And—quite a few funny moments, too. I came to like this book more as it went along—toward the end, it almost approached depth, and it was pleasantly amusing along the way. Doyle is a screenwriter, so the book does at times read like the novelization of a movie that was never made, but not in that “Buy me, Hollywood! I will adapt so easy” way that a lot of bad thrillers seem to adopt these days. It didn’t redefine my definitions of comedy, but overall, I enjoyed it.

  • Andrew Shaffer
    2019-02-22 22:42

    I love you too, Beth Cooper.

  • Whitney
    2019-03-06 05:54

    It was so nice going into a book with absolutely no expectations. I've never seen the movie, so I had no idea what this would be about. I loved the unexpectedness of everything and how it was obviously written like a crazy teen movie. Kind of a dumb storyline, but I suppose that's part of the point. I really loved that Denis had kind of put Beth on a pedestal and it was interesting to watch all of his beliefs about her fall apart as he truly got to know her. I think I may need to see the movie now.

  • Sarah Hadd
    2019-03-13 03:53

    Really, this book was one big boner joke. But if you go into if knowing it’s gonna be like that and you don’t have huge expectations, it’s actually really funny!

  • Jennifer
    2019-03-10 05:32

    Basic OverviewI Love You, Beth Cooper is the literary equivalent of watching a John Hughes movie or a classic John Cusack as a teenager-in-love movie (think Say Anything). The book chronicles one wacky night (graduation night, no less) in the life of Denis Cooverman, who gets the ball rolling when he declares his love for the uber-popular and out-of-his-league Beth Cooper during his valedictorian speech. And what kind of people are valedictorians? Nerds. The book offers the classic "nerd declares love for girl - girl plays with nerd for entertainment purposes - nerd is hounded and attacked by girl's extremely large and lethal Army boyfriend - nerd realizes there is more to girl that meets the eye - girl realizes nerd is not so bad after all" story.My ThoughtsThis is a fast, funny, incredibly amusing read. I loved this book and was basically giggling throughout. Doyle takes all the cliches of every teen movie you've ever seen and gives them a unique spin of his own. Unless you've never been to high school, never seen a teen movie, or have no sense of humor, I can't see why you wouldn't totally enjoy this book. Grade = A+About the AuthorLarry Doyle is a former writer for The Simpsons, works in showbiz and writes funny things for The New Yorker. He lives outside Baltimore with his wife Becky and their three kids. And you gotta love an author who uses his high school photo on the book jacket. If you get the version of the book that I got (the P.S. version), you also get extra special bonuses like Doyle's memoir on How to Become A Simpsons Writer in Only 26 Years, A Rude Interview With The Author Conducted By The Author, and Selections from the I Love You, Beth Cooper Agony/Ecstasy Contest. Be sure to get this version as the extras are TOTALLY worth it!Some ExcerptsDenis was afraid of many things. A very long list of them could be found in a manila folder in the office of Dr. Maple, the phobophiliac lady psychiatrist Denis had seen from the age of five until twelve as a result of his parents having too much disposable income (Denis's therapy was completed successfully at age thirteen, a typical outcome for Dr. Maple, who suffered from ephebiphobia, a fear of teenagers). But the myriad things Denis feared -- which included, briefly, a fear of misusing the word myriad -- the thing he feared most often and most enthusiastically was the future.Rich had had a much less tragedy-free life. We needn't go into details, since it's a long, sad and ultimately unoriginal story, but as a result Rich had developed a coping mechanism by which all of the terrible things that happened to him were merely wacky complications that would, before the movie of his life was over, be resolved in an audience-pleasing happy ending. He occasionally worried his life might be an independent film, or worse, a Swedish flick, but he chose to behave as if the movie he lived was a raucous teen comedy and he was somebody like Ferris Bueller or Otter from Animal House or, worst-case scenario, that guy who fucked a pie.Denis could imagine any number of scenarios under which his conquest of Beth Cooper would be successful:- if Beth went to an all-girls school in the Swiss Alps surrounded by mountains, hundreds of miles away from any other guys except Denis, son of the maths teacher, and Beth was failing algebra, for example;- if Denis was a celebrity;- if Denis had a billion dollars;- if Denis was six inches taller and had muscles.Seriously, if any of these excerpts made you smile, treat yourself and get this book now!

  • T.
    2019-02-16 06:42

    Denis is the nerdiest of nerds, and Beth, the cheerleader and popular girl, is his unrequited love. During Denis’s graduation speech, he has the audacity to make this stunning confession, and over the course of the night, Denis and Beth, with friends along for the ride, traverse the night from one disaster to the next in a story that at times can be hilarious and entertaining, albeit that awkward, cringe worthy, can’t-watch-can’t-look-away kind of entertaining. That being said, its awkward situations can grow tiresome, especially since the momentum of the novel seems to run solely on putting Denis in humiliating situations. From beginning to end, Denis isn’t given much rest, and I couldn’t help wondering why someone who has been shy and timid his entire high school career doesn’t just turn around and go home at some point. Of course one might say, Beth the girl of his dreams, and in most coming of age stories, I’d go along, but in this novel, it seems a bit much, and to be frankly honest, repetitive to the point that it became predictable.Given proper motivation, I can always buy anything, even a repetitive plot, and most times I’d find this motivation in the way the characters evolve. Problem is, from Denis and company all the way to his torturous bullies, pretty much every character in the book is kind of shallow and one dimensional. Other than Denis’s confession during his graduation speech, Denis is extremely nervous, anxious, socially awkward, and overly geeky. Beth and all other popular girls are either stuck up, vapid, condescending, or impish sex kittens nothing more. Kevin, Beth’s boyfriend/ex-boyfriend, is in the army dumb, bulky, short tempered, and solves all problems with violence. Worse yet, Greg, another high school bully, seems so slow that he comes off as mentally challenged. Of course, all coming of age stories are based on these foundations, but the characters generally grow as the story unfolds not so much here. In any case, it all tends to border on being insulting on all accounts. I’ll be the first to admit to being a bit geeky and a loner in school, and even I, thought that none of these characters were as simple as they were presented. But not is all rotten, I Love You, Beth Cooper is consistently hilarious and jammed packed with teenage song titles and pop culture references that make a great guessing game. Rich, Denis’s totally-not-gay best friend, is quirky in a pretty interesting way and makes a great side kick. Doyle, our author, also has a keen and sharp eye for high school moments and places. Insane driving, parking down on secluded gravels roads, scoring booze, and crashing parties all feel authentic, even when they dive into cliché territory. Part of me wonders if Doyle meant this to be a young adult novel. It certainly lacks the sophistication of an adult novel, but seems a bit sexually graphic at times for the standard young adult novel. Maybe, Doyle underestimates our current youth and sees them as shallow and predictable. In the end, I Love You, Beth Cooper simply leaves the reader wanting something better.

  • Rachel
    2019-02-18 02:36

    It is not entirely my fault that I read a book as stupid as this one. I knew going in that it wasn't exactly going to be Ulysses, but given that it was so popular for more than a couple of years, when it turned out to be the book version of every raunchy teenage sex comedy ever, I was surprised. I mean, try to imagine the movie Porky's, but as a book. Seems unlikely, right? That's what I thought too, but sadly I was wrong.So the plot, such as it is, is that Denis Cooverman, Nerd, gives the valedictory at his high school graduation and uses it as an opportunity to say what he really thinks about all his classmates, including Beth Cooper, Head Cheerleader, whom he apparently loves on the basis of alphabetical seating charts and staring at the back of her head for four years. The rest of the action takes place over graduation night into the following morning and it's basically: drunkenness, beatdown, vomiting, beatdown, sex talk, simulated sex, sex, beatdown, vomiting, fleeing from police, vomiting. Also car crashes.After reading this, I learned that Larry Doyle is primarily a screenwriter and producer of ... things of varying quality is how I would put it. On the one hand, The Simpsons and Looney Tunes. On the other, the screenplay for this book. I didn't really hate this book, but it was clearly written with an eye toward selling it as a movie. There were a couple of times where I thought it might be not quite as terrible as it seemed to be, for example, when we find out that Beth works almost full-time at a shoe store and does all the grocery shopping for her family. I read that and was thinking, "oh, that's interesting; let's hear more about that," to which Larry Doyle then replied, "yeaaah, we could but instead how about this scene where the two hot girls have a threesome with the nerd!"Feh.

  • Nely
    2019-03-15 06:57

    Denis Cooverman - class valedictorian, captain of the debate team and your all-around nerd is standing on stage, sweating profusely and giving his graduation speech when he decides to live on the edge and says:"I love you, Beth Cooper."Yep, in front of his 500+ classmates and their relatives.Beth Cooper - head cheerleader, most popular and the hottest girl in school has only the vaguest idea of who Denis is. They’ve been in the same classes their whole lives but Denis has always sat behind her in class and never actually uttered a word to her. When Beth agrees to “maybe” make it to a graduation party Denis spontaneously decides to throw, little does he know that Beth has a very big, muscular boyfriend in town on furlough from the United States Army who is not very happy about his “creative” speech.I was looking for a book that would make me laugh and was not serious whatsoever and definitely found it in "I Love You, Beth Cooper." This is the classic tale of the nerd loving the most beautiful girl in school - in a “day in the life of” scenario. It took me back and captured that high school surreal feeling of social status and angst. It's like Return of the Nerds, where the nerds become semi-cool, get the girl, and realize that there's more to life outside the world of high school and all its pettiness.This is one of the funniest books I've read in a long time. Any book that quotes characters from some of the funniest movies of all time has to be funny! And the comics were just hilarious. I will confess, I actually bought the book because I skimmed through it and was laughing at how funny the illustrations were.If you’re in the mood for something fast-paced and highly-entertaining then this is definitely your book.

  • Rashmi Tiwari
    2019-02-17 00:34

    So I saw this on my favorite sister-in-law's bookshelf and vaguely remembered a teen movie with the same name and so OF COURSE, had to borrow it. (This all happened last night at a Halloween party.)This book could be SO much more. Really. I love YA. I love coming-of-age stories. I love anything that falls into the category of satire, PARTICULARLY when it skewers social systems. Like high school. I was totally prepped to love the ever-loving shit of out of this book. And yet.And yet. It did not deliver. Come on, Doyle! Give me a character as genius and dynamic and amazing as Denis and let me see him win at something. Anything. Why so much violence, Doyle? I get it, I get it. High school losers who go into the armed forces are your own personal devil incarnate but let that shit go. Seriously. By the middle of the book, I was yelling, "NOT AGAIN!" at your plot contrivances. NO! NOT AGAIN.That being said, this book gets it in a lot of really small ways. Denis and Rich are characters I know (names will be redacted...ahem ahem) and really, who didn't fantasize about the Beth Coopers (male or female) in their high school? That being said, Beth having the foresight to see that this is the apex of her life is TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE. In my (humble) experience, those ladies don't have the insight to get that. (This said as someone who watched the girl with a "CHRLDER" license plate walk around her 10-year reunion saying "Wait, who were you?" to almost everyone there.) It's all a bit fantasy and revenge-y for Mr. Doyle...which...go you. It just doesn't make for compelling reading for the rest for us. Keep it in your spank bank.